Fashion Police declare war on flatforms

Fashion Police declare war on flatform shoes

OK, that’s it: we’re officially declaring war on flatforms. These shoes are dead to us now: or, at least, they will be, once we’ve rounded up every last pair and set fire to them. Not since the advent of Crocs has a single style of shoe possessed such innate ability to make its wearer look like a golf club. Seriously, doesn’t this poor model look like a gold club to you? Does that seem right? DOES IT?

All of the flatforms must go. No pair shall be saved, for we have never, ever encountered a pair that didn’t make our eyes burn. If you have, we invite you to submit the shoes in question into evidence. We don’t believe they exist, though.

As for the ones pictured, they’re by Elizabeth and James, and they’re $265 at Shopbop. Why? We will never know…

7 Comments

  • February 16, 2012

    Claire

    They are horrendous, they’re so distractingly ugly that I’ve only just noticed the weird stitching on her bum. As of yet I haven’t seen a pair that I would voluntarily wear, I’m not sure what would have to go up against them in wear or die to make me choose them, even crocs would beat these for me.

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  • February 16, 2012

    Ez

    They are ugly but I think these are kinda cute for flatforms… http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-VERA-Pointed-Flatform-Shoes/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1909013&SearchQuery=flatform&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=-1&sort=-1&clr=Green

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  • February 16, 2012

    Lynette

    They strike me as pretty awful, and I can’t look at the photo without thinking about the knee injury when the wearer clips the toe of the sole on something and takes a tumble. That said, I must confess that I absolutely *loved* my Famolares in the late 70s.

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  • February 17, 2012

    Romanticide

    But I like Vivienne Westwood Rockinghorses!!! D:

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  • February 17, 2012

    Selina

    I’m pretty sure flatforms were invented by someone who has never actually worn shoes. Because seriously, how could you ever expect to walk in them? Let alone walk with grace. Plus they’re clunky and ugly. Burn them all, I say!

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  • February 19, 2012

    Centurytoolate

    I Declare WAR!!! Search & seize!!

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  • March 8, 2012

    anon

    i’m sorry fashion police, but once again your taste in fashion fails to extend beyond anything traditionally “feminine”. clunky shoes are awesome.

    also, selina, do women have an obligation to “walk with grace”?

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