OK, that’s it: we’re officially declaring war on flatforms. These shoes are dead to us now: or, at least, they will be, once we’ve rounded up every last pair and set fire to them. Not since the advent of Crocs has a single style of shoe possessed such innate ability to make its wearer look like a golf club. Seriously, doesn’t this poor model look like a gold club to you? Does that seem right? DOES IT?
All of the flatforms must go. No pair shall be saved, for we have never, ever encountered a pair that didn’t make our eyes burn. If you have, we invite you to submit the shoes in question into evidence. We don’t believe they exist, though.