High Waisted Tartan Shorts from Topshop: do not want

You may not think it, but over the course of 2009, The Fashion Police learned to like, if not exactly to love, a few items of clothing that we'd previously always considered to be crimes of fashion.
We learned, for instance, to like high waists on certain items of clothing.
We learned that tartan, if done right, can actually be quite refreshing.
What we did not and will not accept, however, that this combination of the two, as applied to these knee-length shorts from Topshop, which were another find by Fashion Super-Sleuth, Mousy, could be acceptable to us under any circumstances. Because, as Mousy correctly points out, they look a lot like boxers, and not even Topshop's suggestion, "tuck in a tee and wear with thick tights and lace-up boots" can ever remove that association from our minds now.
If, on the other hand, you think these are just the way to start 2009, they're £38. You're welcome.






We've always considered harem pants to be at the very pinnacle of fugliness. It would be hard to find a way to make them less appealing to us, but credit where it's due: Triple 5 Soul have somehow managed it, using the simple technique of making the fabric ever so slightly sheer. 


We fear we're fast approaching crisis point with the
This crime of fashion was reported to us by Mousy, whose name regular readers will no doubt recognise from our comments section. "You're going to love it," said Mousy. "I can just tell." And all we can say to that is, "How well you know us..."
Ever since 









To be fair, judging by the picture of these jodhpur-style trousers on the mannequin (see it 


Oh my. What the hell happened here, Dotty P? We're slowly getting used to the sight of harem pants cropping up (or dropping down, as the case may be) here, there and just about everywhere this season, but this jumpsuit doesn't just have a (slightly) dropped crotch, it appears to have dropped hips, too.
Our rule of thumb regarding animal print is that a little goes a long way. A very long way. 


£1,045. One. Thousand. And. Forty. Five. British. Pounds. Or, to put it another way, $2984 US. 





Metallic trousers baffle us. They seem like the kind of thing you could only ever get away with wearing if you were:
Pants with cuffs at the ankles: we've always been suspicious of them. Why is this, do you think? Is it because they remind us of
Fashion Police tip of the day, folks: never search eBay using the keywords "lace trousers". (Yes, we know we did it, but we're trained professionals, and it's our job to track down these 