|
|
Archive for the ‘Trousers/Pants’ Category
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
 Isn't Halloween over now? We’d almost resigned ourselves to the existence of jumpsuits. We’d even come across a few in the course of our police work that – whisper it – we didn’t actually hate.
Then this one came along and set the jumpsuit movement back YEARS as far as we’re concerned. Years. It looks like some kind of Halloween costume to us – or an outfit for the villain in some kind of camp dance show. Imagine the model with a handlebar moustache and you’ll maybe understand what we mean. And now we’ve thought about this jumpsuit for much longer than we’d really like, so let’s say no more about it and simply let the record show that it costs £100 from ASOS.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
It’s funny how your eyes start to adjust to crimes of fashion, isn’t it? A few months ago, something like this denim bodysuit from Miss Selfridge would’ve had us almost falling off our seats in horror, but now that we seem to be living in an 80s fashion hell more or less all the time, when we first laid eyes upon it our first thought wasn’t “Quick! Call out the troops!” but simply, “Now, how on earth would they expect people to wear THAT, then?”
Luckily, though, we didn’t have to wonder for long, because Miss Selfridge have helpfully answered that question for us. You’d wear a studded denim body suit with….
(more…)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
Whoops! Time to change that diaper again!
They’re doing this deliberately, aren’t they? No one could seriously have thought, “You know what would look great? Bleached denim harem pants! With an ugly elasticated waist! Let’s make it happen!” So we’re working on the assumption that they’re doing it just to annoy us. It’s working, too: seriously, two of our least favourite things EVER – bleached, 80s denim and a saggy crotch – together in one item. We feel like we’re being tortured slowly here. Add in the aforementioned elasticated waist, and we’ve got these on three separate counts.
Bail for these is set at £70. If you want to set them free, you can get them here.
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
Well, thank goodness for this. Because if there HADN’T been a way to marry the worlds of velour and playsuits, AND to make their wearer look nude, but saggy, we just don’t know how we could’ve gone on living.
We are, however, confused by this garment. The velour fabric and elasticated waist seems to say “slobbing out at home”, but the strapless top says “party time!” In the same way, the bottom of the garment says “cosy” but the top says “It’s a bit nippy in here, innit? I wish I had something to cover my shoulders!”
Any ideas? Where would you wear this? Or perhaps a better question: WOULD you wear this?
River Island velour playsuit, £29.99
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
Just in case you thought it was safe to go back into the shops, here’s the proof that it isn’t: Andrea Crews’ £254 cheetah harem pants. The harem threat isn’t over yet, it would appear.
We think the back view of these is particularly awesome, don’t you? Who doesn’t love some, saggy, cheetah-print butt on a Wednesday morning?
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
 Lace bellbottoms
You see, this is what happens when you complain too much about leggings and skinny jeans: some designers – and by “some designers” we mean “Kova & T” – will go too far in another direction in their attempt to create something different, and we’ll end up fighting a battle against lace bell bottoms instead. Call us crazy, but we’d rather have the leggings-as-pants, thanks very much.
We’re relieved to see that this Shopbop model is at least wearing (or seems to be wearing) a tiny little thong with her shants, though, but let’s face it: we all know some people just won’t bother, and yes, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, we ARE looking at you…
Kova & T lace bell bottoms, $165
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
We’re possibly being generous here by assuming these bones leggings are being sold as part of the general Halloween-themed madness that hits the retail world at this time every year. We certainly hope they’re not supposed to be worn as part of your day-to-day attire but, well, you never really know these days, do you?
If you’re looking for an easy (not to mention lazy) Halloween costume, though, these are £20 at Topshop, who’re also selling the usual assortment of devil horns, angel wings etc. The rest of the skeleton, however, you’ll have to find for yourself…
Monday, October 12th, 2009
When Fashion Police reader Johanna reported this item, telling us it was a “trouser dungaree”, we expected to see… well, trouser dungarees. Then we opened the link and saw one of David Bowie’s stage outfits, circa 1972.
“Strange,” we thought. “That’s no ‘trouser dungaree’! That’s a unitard!”
But actually, this case is even stranger than that. Because a unitard is all in one piece. This? Is not. This is a two-piece garment. And, going by the photos, we have to assume that one part is the leotard/jumpsuit thingy, and the other piece is the removable leg.
Yes, we just used the words “removable leg” in relation to an item of clothing. We’re dying inside, here. Can you imagine a situation in which you’d want to remove one leg of your blood-stain patterned unitard? (Lady Gaga, you’re exempt from answering this, if you’re reading). Because we sure can’t. Maybe we’re just mixing with the wrong crowd? Although, if it’s a crowd that would pay $680, maybe that’s a good thing?
Maison Martin Margiela trouser dungarees, $680
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
There are no words for this atrocity.
(more…)
Monday, October 5th, 2009
We’ll be honest: there’s quite a lot about Missoni that strikes us an an Unsolved Mystery, but these metallic knit pants are particularly perplexing. Where would you wear them, for instance? We can’t imagine going out in public in them, but then, we can’t imagine paying $755 /£474 for lounge-wear either – and isn’t it strange how something so sheer can be so totally unsexy? So very, very, unsexy…
Missoni metallic knit pants, £474
|
|
|
