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Archive for the ‘Trousers/Pants’ Category
Thursday, March 18th, 2010
We’d like to congratulate Marc Jacobs for finding a way to re-invent the wheel shorts.
We’d LIKE to … but that would mean ignoring MJ’s (We can call you MJ, can’t we, Marc?) flagrant disregard for the Not Broke/Don’t Fix It rule. Which we totally just made up.
For us, these also fall foul of the idea that there should be no such thing as “bloomers” in the world. “Bloomers” rhymes with “bloopers”. That’s how we’ll probably always think of these. BUT, they say a change is as good as a rest, and we know many of our readers have a lot of time for ruffles, so we’re putting these up On Trial to see what you think of them. Do you welcome this new breed of shorts, or do you prefer your crotch area NOT to look like a ruffled rectangle, as in the image on the right? Tell us! But before you do, one word of warning: if you are going to wear these, please be aware that the rear view leaves little to the imagination:
(more…)
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
 All Kinds of Wrong Oh, that Alexnder Wang! Such a kidder! As if it wasn’t bad enough that he’s already damaged our eyesight once this year with his creation of the Worst! Shorts! Ever!, he’s now gone ahead and ATTACHED those shorts to a pair of drab looking sweatpants. AS IF WE WOULDN’T NOTICE.
Let’s see:
- Clothes That Are Stuck Together - Check
- Peep Toe Boot Rule in effect – Check
- Sweatpants that should never been seen in public – Check
- Overly literal application of the Underwear as Outerwear trend – Check
It’s affirmative, folks: we have ourselves a fully-fledged crime of fashion right here. These are $115 at Saks Fifth Avenue.
Does the fact that these pants look more like a skirt than anything else make them better or worse than some of the ugly harem pants that have gone before them? These are the kind of complex and important questions The Fashion Police find themselves having to answer, and quite frankly, we now find ourselves so deeply mired in Harem Hell that we just don’t know WHAT to think any more.
What do YOU think? Better or worse than their harem pant sisters? If a harem pant has a crotch that reaches the ANKLES, but no one can see it on account of all of the material around it, is it still a harem pant? If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? The great unanswered questions of our time…
[Product page]
Thursday, March 11th, 2010
First, Henrik Vibskov created a harem jumpsuit:
Then Henrik realised the errors of his ways. “Quick!” he thought, “Cover the crotch! Before The Fashion Police see it and decide to make it the Ugly Harem Pant of the Day!” So Henrik DID cover the crotch:
By attaching SLEEVES* to it. And The Fashion Police DID make it the Ugly Harem Pant of the Day. Well, come on: four sleeves on one item of clothing, we couldn’t just ignore it, could we? If you can’t either, it’s £214 here.
*OK, so they’re not actually sleeves, but they do seem to be designed to create the impression of another garment tied around the waist…
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
 Harem Shants As harem pants go, these are far from the worst we’ve seen. In fact, in a Wear or Die type of situation, we may even find ourselves picking these over another pair of drop-crotches, purely because the “harem” part is made of mesh, and is therefore that little bit less noticeable than a regular ol’ saggy pant.
Why does the mesh overlay exist then? You may well ask. But we wouldn’t be able to answer, because we have no idea why you’d need a pair of pants with another pair of pants (albeit sheer ones) sewn over the top of them. We’d also have to disappoint you if you were hoping to buy these, because they’re currently sold out at ASOS.com, who were selling them for $170. Keep checking back, though – you never know your luck!
 Technically, it should be impossible for a pair of dropped-crotch pants to have a camel toe. In fact, that’s probably the only good point the harem pant has.
Once again, however, Rick Owens has managed to bring camel toe to the unlikeliest of garments.
There’s actually a weird kind of talent to that, somehow. And if he can persuade people to part with £455 for these, then he’s even MORE talented than we thought. And possibly dangerous.
[Product Page]
 Sometimes it’s not enough to have a saggy butt and low-slung crotch in your day-to-day life. Sometimes you want to be able to look like that at the beach/pool, too, and luckily for you, this Zimmermann jumpsuit (sorry, “shumpsuit” – it IS sheer, after all) is here to help you do it!
This is actually supposed to be worn as a swimsuit coverup, but will people take heed of that, and refrain from wearing it AWAY from the waterside? Of COURSE they won’t. Hopefully the $450 price tag will put some of them off, though…
[Thanks to Brie for the report!]
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
 Return of the Skouser Remember ‘Skousers’? They’re part trouser, part skirt, and no one – no one – does them quite like Martin Margiela. Thank Gaga for that, eh?
The skousers you see above are special skousers, because rather than sticking to the more usual “mullet” design, with the skirt in the back and the trousers at the front, Margiela has cunningly designed these with the “trouser” on one leg and the “skirt” on the other. We say “cunningly”: you may well have a different word to describe this. Feel free to suggest a few in the comments section.
If you want to be part of the new trouser sensation that’s, er, probably NOT sweeping the nation, meanwhile, head over to Yoox.com, where you can buy these for £215.
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
There is a reason why “rompers” are most often associated with babies and toddlers.
This is that reason.
Actually, this Haute Hippie romper doesn’t make the model look like a toddler so much as it makes her look like someone who forgot to get dressed before leaving the house. We’d have no issue with this as sleepwear, or loungewear, but just in case you needed reminding, throwing a cardigan and some boots on doesn’t miraculously transform a romper into appropriate street attire. Does it?
We’re going to go with “no” as the answer to that question, but if you disagree, you can buy one from Shopbop, where they retail for $145.
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
It doesn’t really get much worse than this, does it? Or at least, we hope not.
These are actually designed for men, and we would attempt a joke here about what the man who wore them would be packin’ in that pouch, but actually, going by the shape of it, it looks like a second butt. Attractive. Not.
Want them? They’re £125 at Far Fetch.
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