Trousers/Pants

      ZARA autumn 2014

      Trends on Trial | Baggy Trousers

      This season, ZARA is carrying a lot of stuff like this: All items: ZARA And, OK, they’re not all “baggy”. Not exactly. Some are just stretchy. And have obviously been victimized by our old enemy, The Foot Snatcher.  Others, meanwhile, look a lot like sleepwear, or yoga pants, or some…

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      The Emperor’s New Fendi Trousers

      Well, whaddya know: it looks like our old friend The Emperor got himself some new trousers! [Buy them here for £136] It’s hard to be sure just from the evidence before us, but we THINK what we’re looking at here is a pair of tights, with a useless, totally sheer…

      ugliest trousers of 2013

      The Ugliest Trousers of 2013

      Happy Friday, everyone! We hope you had a good Christmas if you were celebrating, and that you’re enjoying the holiday season. Our officers are currently responding to fashion emergencies only, so today we’re continuing our look back at the fashion crimes of 2013, with a roundup of some truly terrible…

      fancy-pants

      Fancy Pants | Trousers get all dressed up

      L-R: ASOS trousers in floral jacquard | Banana Republic Camden fit gold skinny ankle pants | J Crew Collection cafe capri pants Something strange is going on in the world of trousers. And it’s probably J Crew’s fault. It’s been happening for a while, actually. It’s almost as if trousers are tired of being the…

      trousers

      Fashion Crime Files | Terrible Trousers

      Trousers. So easy to get right. But also, apparently, so easy to get catastrophically WRONG. This week our officers have been policing the world of pants, and here are a few of the suspects they’ve brought in to our trouser unit for questioning:   Jean Paul Gaultier, £877 Ah, the…

      selection of fashionable boiler suits

      Trend Trial: Boiler Suits

      “The boiler suit trend”: now THERE are some words we hoped never to have to write. It’s happened, though. Boiler suits are being deemed a “hot trend” for the summer, which means we find ourselves in the expected position of having to ask you… Boiler suits, ASOS Before we looked…

      leggings

      Closet Heroes: Leggings

      A closet hero is an item of clothing which, once purchased, quickly becomes indispensable to its owner. Here at TFP, we don’t believe that there are particular items which “every woman” should own: we’re all too different to need or want exactly the same clothes. We do, however, believe that most people…

      skinny-black-pants

      Closet Heroes: Skinny black pants

      Thanks to all of your suggestions on our first Closet Heroes post, we now have a growing list of awesome items to feature. We’ll be doing our best to work our way through as many “hero” items as we can, but today we’re focusing on a suggestion from Fashion Police…

      fries

      You want fries with those leggings?

      Nothing hits the spot quite like a good ol’ burger and fries, does it? You know what they say about fatty, fried, food, though: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! And in this case, those fries you just ate will  LITERALLY appear on your hips! Both…

      three pairs of printed trousers

      Three Things: Printed trousers

      Forever 21 // Topshop // Zara Printed trousers appeared on the style scene a couple of seasons ago, and while some of you loved them, and were more than happy to pledge allegiance to our new printed pant overlords, others were reluctant to accept that they’d be expected to walk around…

      black leggings with padded sections on legs

      Crime of Fashion: Robot leggings

      We thought the fringe leggings we arrested this morning would be the worse thing we’d have to show you today, but then we stumbled across these at Nasty Gal, and thought for a moment that it was April 1st all over again: This is no joke though, officers: those really…

      fringeleggings

      Fringe leggings, revisited

      We’ve discussed the existence of fringe leggings before, but we figured these ones deserved a special mention, not just because of the leggings themselves, but because of the styling of the whole outfit: They’re basically My Little Pony’s leggings, aren’t they? As in, if My Little Pony ever decided to…

      sheer pants with cabbage patch print

      Peculiar Pants and other Opening Ceremony delights

      Love peculiar pants? Buy these ones here. The product description describes these as “pajama pants”. If that’s the case, then it certainly explains the see-through quality, and also means that we can’t arrest them for crimes of fashion: they get off on the technicality that they’re designed to be worn…

      leggings with animal print and sheer panels

      Possibly the ugliest leggings in the world.

      We normally save the fashion crimes until our regular Friday roundup, but we strongly suspect these leggings of being the ugliest leggings  we’ve ever seen, and we need your go-ahead to lock them up and throw away the key. Here’s the evidence: What do you think, jurors? Are these a…

      ugliest-pants-of-2012-featured

      The Ugliest Pants of 2012

      Pants. They’re one of the easiest and most comfortable items of clothing to wear, but for reasons which continue to elude us, they’re also one of the easiest items for fashion designers to completely and utterly screw up. From making them completely see-through, to adding crotches which trail along the…

      drop-crotch suit

      What Not to Wear to the Office

      Grey wool trousers with a matching, fitted suit jacket sounds like a very office-appropriate kind of outfit, doesn’t it? These pants, though… don’t. In fact, these pants don’t really strike us as appropriate for ANYWHERE, really. On the plus side, at least you can leave the handbag at home and…

      skirt pants

      Skants: half skirt, half pants

      “Skirt-like trousers”, says the product description. “Skants”, says The Fashion Police. Because under the same logic which dictates that a sheer dress is a “shress” and sheer pants are “shants”, it stands to reason that skirt-pants must be “skants”. There’s absolutely nothing else about this garment that stands to reason, unfortunately….