The Emperor’s New Organza Dress, by Topshop Boutique

organza tea dresses

OK: obviously Topshop don’t mean for us to wear these dresses exactly as they’re shown on the mannequins. Or at least, we hope to God not, because there ain’t enough eyeball bleach in the world to allow us to cope if this particular look was suddenly “bang on trend“. So, we think we have to presume here that they’re supposed to be worn over something else.

The things is, though: WHAT? Because, let’s face it, there’s not much to see here, is there? Literally. They won’t exactly add much to any outfit you’d care to wear under them, and even if they did, well, they’re £80. Each. That’s around $125. The Fashion Police have never DIY’d anything in our lives, but we’re pretty sure we could cobble together a makeshift “dress” out of a piece of organza, if we had one. And we’d only charge you, like, £65, say.

Oh, Emperor, you have no clothes!

Tell us, though: what’s your position on “clothes” like this? Retailers keep on making them, after all, so SOMEONE must be buying them – indeed, all three of these are sold out in at least one size – so we turn to you, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police jury, to explain the appeal. And you have to do it without using the word “edgy”, because otherwise we’re afraid we’ll have to kill arrest you.

Do you buy and wear things like these? And how do you wear them, if so? 


  • January 4, 2012


    I actually WOULD wear something like this on top of pants/shirt, say.. hmm… DIY seems like a good idea))

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  • January 4, 2012


    Ummm… as a smock for painting? As an apron? A swimsuit coverup? That’s all I have.

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  • January 4, 2012


    Perfect the way it is…to go through the airport security, no need for a full body scan.

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  • January 7, 2012


    Honestly the only thing I might do with this is wear it as a petticoat which makes the price even more nonsensical.

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  • January 8, 2012


    There is not much point in buying sh*t like this unless you are very skinny and work within the fashion business…
    Otherwise,have fun explaining your fashion choices at the board meeting 😀

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  • January 9, 2012

    Millar Boddington

    You could wear a nice black body suit underneath and some Noritaka Tatehana’s.

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