Fiver Finger Shoes
I have to confess that I found this picture on a discussion forum, so I know not what these are or where they come from – and I think it’s probably best if we try and keep it that way, no? I actually think this could be the biggest crime of fashion we’ve ever featured here at The Fashion Police : in fact, if there’s something uglier than these lurking out there, I’m not sure I want to know about it. (Note: I totally do want to know about it though, so, you know, send us your pictures!)
These are based along the same lines as the “toe socks” I’ve always found so very offensive to the eyes, but whoever made these has gone one better and turned them into shoes. I dunno, maybe it’s supposed to be a joke? (Please, God, let it be a joke…) I mean, I can’t imagine anyone actually wearing them, can you?
Now, excuse me while I go and stare at those Christian Louboutin peep toes again to get this image out of my head…
Oh sweet baby Jesus. I know it’s hard to tell from this picture, but yes, these are shoes. Oh, I know they LOOK like nothing more than huge great lumps of animal skin – which is pretty much what they’ll make your feet look like when you wear them – but they are footwear. They’re just not nice footwear. Why would anyone do this to themselves, I wonder? Do people really wake up in the morning and think, “God, I wish my feet looked bigger and clumsier than they actually are, how could I achieve that, I wonder?” And if they do, are these the shoes of their dreams? Get them at Bluefly… (Or, you know, don’t.)