The Creepiest Shirt in the World: official

“Oh, look!” we thought. “Net-a-Porter has started showing some of the clothes on headless mannequins! How weird!”

Folks, that’s not a mannequin. And it’s thankfully not a model with her head missing.

Those are gloves.

And they’re attached to the sweater.

We have SO MANY QUESTIONS HERE:

The first one, of course, is why on earth you’d WANT a pair of gloves attached to your sweater? Yes, they’re detachable – THANK GOD they’re detachable – but then, what’s the point? Why make them, er, attachable in the first place? Why not just sell them¬†separately? Who, after all, needs to wear elbow-length gloves indoors? Surely if it’s cold enough for gloves, it’s too cold to be out in just a sweater, in which case you’d actually want your gloves to be attached to your COAT instead, otherwise how would you fasten it up while wearing gloves?

(We’re kidding. You don’t need gloves attached to a coat do you? You’re not three, after all.)

Also, though: these are presumably supposed to be flesh-coloured, which is why they’re so creepy. What if your flesh ISN’T that colour, though? Most people’s won’t be, after all, and those people whose flesh isn’t an exact match for the gloves will look like they have SOMEONE ELSE’S ARMS ATTACHED TO THEM.

AAAARGH! Someone please make it stop, it’s just too Silence of the Lambs for words!

Just say you DID decide to wear this, though. You know what would be perfect with it?

A pair of Prada’s prosthetic leg pumps! We’re going to have to go and lie down in a darkened room for a while now…

If you do happen to like the sweater, it’s by Maison Martin Margiela (why are you not surprised?) and it’s ¬£825. No, that’s not a typo. Click here to buy it.

 

16 Comments

  • September 1, 2011

    Natasha

    Oh my god, serial killer sweater!

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  • September 1, 2011

    Tali

    it just gets greepier. I expect a hat with a flesh-colored face sewn to it any minute..

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    • September 1, 2011

      Minka

      LOLed at this! But actually I would not be surprised in the least…

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    • September 1, 2011

      Rock Hyrax

      I’m sure Gaga would wear it…

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  • September 1, 2011

    Maria via Facebook

    No way….

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  • September 1, 2011

    Leigh

    Hello, Clarice.

    (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

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  • September 1, 2011

    Buffalo Bill (aka Jame Gumb)

    It puts the lotion in the basket.

    It puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

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  • September 1, 2011

    Natalie M

    “Oh.My.GOD.” <—my exact reaction.

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  • September 1, 2011

    Tii

    Never mind creepy but this whole design is stupid. Say if someone decides to buy this sweater and detaches the gloves, then they would be wearing a plain, nondescript gray sweater which is not worth £825! You could buy the same sweater without the horrid gloves for a whole lot less.
    The people at Maison Martin Margiela should have given this some thought.

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    • September 1, 2011

      The Fashion Police

      Good point – I would imagine most people will detach the gloves when they’re not outdoors, so they’d have paid all that money just for a basic sweater!

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  • September 1, 2011

    Emily

    Wow.

    Now that… that, is horrible.

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  • September 1, 2011

    Heidi

    If the skirt were midi length so no flesh showed between the boots and the sensible skirt and the grey sweatshirt thing with the gloves, well, I’d wonder when she got out of the burn ward and give her points for trying to cover up her hideous scars, poor dear.

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  • September 1, 2011

    naiadknight

    Ebbeh. Ebbeh. Fer the love of Pete, I’m not Anthony Hopkins! I have no desire for badly tanned human leather (Or human leather at all, for that matter.) And I sure as sin don’t want it attached to an ill fitting sweatshirt!

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  • September 1, 2011

    XL5Venus

    Don’t forget the Marilyn Manson faux-pube exposure dress and face mask. It’s adding up to a trend toward cheap(?) import body parts/skin smuggling. Call the Fashion Police, Customs and Interdiction division!

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  • September 1, 2011

    Rudi

    There must be some use for it. What if you had to dissect an alien (or anything for that matter) at short notice?

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  • September 2, 2011

    EricB

    LOL! That photo with the zipped open attached gloves goes straight to the laughing stock section of this website.

    Please create a tag that reads laughing stock.

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