| | Tag Archives: ugly sweatersMiharayasuhiro’s $873 sweater: distressing | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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At first glance, we assumed this was a simple case of Stuck-Together-Clothes. Upon re-examination of the evidence, however, we’re just not convinced that the handbag stuck to the front of this sweater has any real function other than a decorative one, so we now have to conclude that it’s just ugly. (Which is kind of disappointing actually, because if it had been a handbag AND a sweater, that would have at least helped explain the $895 price tag. Double the crime, double the price, after all…)
Or is it?
We guess if you really like handbags – and this one in particular – you might find this the perfect way to demonstrate that love. To wear your handbag close to your heart, so to speak. And if you would, well, you better get yourself over to Colette quickly, before they sell out. Click here to buy this, or just click on the comments box to tell us what you think of it: up to you.
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Barneys, you’re scaring us. In fact, we’re shaking in our stilettos here.
We’re not just scared because this nauseatingly hideous Duro Olowu polo cardigan is apparently worth $935 to you, although that’s frightening enough, and if we let ourselves think about it too long, we just bet we won’t be able to sleep tonight.
No, we’re also scared because of the pointy-headed mannequin.
WHAT’S WITH THE POINTY-HEADED MANNEQUIN, BARNEYS?!
Seriously, are you trying to give us all heart-attacks? You can’t destroy the Fashion Police with fear, you know, (Well, you kind of can, to be honest, but we’re not going to tell you that) but we think that by creating this army of Pointy-Headed Mannequins (PHMs), you’re probably planning to try and take over the world. The Mannequins will come, and they will bring their $1000 cardigans to ensure that the Fashion Victims shall inherit the earth. Actually, we’re pretty sure Pointy-Headed Mannequins are one of the four horsemen of the fashion apocalypse, no?
They’re coming, readers. And they’re wearing expensive ugly knitwear:
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We must confess, we were more than a little surprised to discover that this sweater is by Whistles: they’re not a brand we tend to associate with the kind of clothing that leaves you in danger of committing an act of indecent exposure if you happen to move the wrong way in them, but perhaps they’ve decided it’s time to get “edgy”. And possibly to get arrested by The Fashion Police, depending on what you think of this creation of theirs.
As you can see, this is a sweater with lots of sheer panels, which we guess makes it as “shweater”. It looks a bit like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle, which will either totally expose your undergarments, or totally expose much of the flesh on your torso, if you decide not to wear any undergarments.
What do you think of this one, readers? Is the world ready for the shweater, do you think? If so, you can buy this one at ASOS.com, where it’s £125.
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Scratchy sweater, anyone?
Citizen’s Arrest carried out by: Selina
Alleged Perp: Charlotte Ronson high waisted pencil skirt with zip
Hey, remember those scratchy sweaters some elderly relative would always give you for Christmas? They’d itch like mad, but you’d be forced to dutifully wear them at least once a year, just to be polite?
Well, they make just as ugly skirts, too, don’t they?
Verdict: Remanded into Fashion Police custody: bail set at $79.80, payable to Shopbop.
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When we first laid eyes on this sweater, we must admit, we didn’t know WHAT to think. It was almost as if the sheer shininess of it had a kind of stunning effect on us, which wiped all thoughts from our minds and left us just staring there at the sweater, and maybe dribbling slightly.
Now that we’ve recovered, we… well, actually, we STILL don’t know what to think. We’re tempted to view this as a particularly flamboyant breed of Christmas sweater, but of course, it could just be further evidence of the current fashion ruling stating that everything must be covered in sequins at all times, OR ELSE.
What do you think of it, readers? If you like it, it’s £60 at Topshop.
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Oh, hai nipples...
OK, is it just us, or is this a REALLY unfortunate choice of colour and placement on the pockets? Umm, yeah.
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Remember the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac jacket Lad Gaga wore? The one covered in Kermits? What are we saying: of COURSE you remember. It's not exactly the kind of thing you'd forget, is it?
Well, the designer has followed it up with another animal-based design: the "Oh my God, I have a horse for an arm!" sweater shown above. He's one crazy kid, is our JC/DC!
Don't worry, though, Kermit hasn't been forgotten completely: read on to see some sweaters featuring his beloved green face. All products available at Colette, retailing for between £200 – £500.
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