“Bondage shorts with removable bum bag”. There’s just nothing right about that sentence, is there?
There’s not much right about the shorts, either:
Why would you want a bag attached to your butt? It has a strap: why not use it? Where does bondage come into it? Where are the peep toe boots you’d obviously wear with these, in observance of the Peep Toe Boot Rule? Why are these cute shoes being paired with “bondage shorts with attached bum bag”.
So many questions, readers. If you have answers, feel free to share them. If you just want to buy these, click here to do it.
We were going to say this cardigan was a “two for the price of one” deal, but it’s actually more like one for the price of six, because if we ever find ourselves paying £320 for a single cardigan, we’ll know we’ve either become rich beyond our wildest dreams, or been totally taken in by a Daylight Robbery criminal.
If we ever find ourselves buying two cardigans that are physically attached to each other, meanwhile, we’ll know we’ve just lost our minds.
What about you? Would you pay £320 for a pair of conjoined cardigans? Click here if so…
You know what sucks, readers? When it’s absolutely freezing outside, but you really, really want to wear your knee-length khaki pants, and absolutely nothing else in your wardrobe will do. Seriously, what’s a girl to do?
Well, D’UH! You would wear them with a pair of white thermal leggings underneath, obviously! Because that wouldn’t look odd, or detract from the appearance of the shorts AT ALL, would it?
Seriously, though, in the world of the Fashion Victim, there’s only one thing better than a pair of shorts worn with thermals underneath them (Edgy! Directional! Unexpected!), and that’s a pair of shorts with thermal leggings ATTACHED to them.
We couldn’t make this stuff up, could we?
These are by Kettle Black are they’re down to just $47.50 at Shopbop, and sold out in everything except size 31, so somewhere in the world, there are people walking around who can’t separate their shorts from their long johns. If you’d like to join that exclusive clique, click here.
Is everyone else seeing a bag stuck to the front of this skirt? Net-a-Porter are trying to pass it off as an ‘oversize pocket’ but you’re not fooled, are you readers? Neither are the Fashion Police.
We suppose it could be useful for carrying a few necessities around, but do you really want to wear a skirt with a bum bag (fanny pack) attached to it? And would you pay £1,455 for the privilege? If you would, then you can buy it here.
It’s jumpsuit season again folks: yay! Or possibly nay, depending on your point of view.
This Topshop cape jumpsuit isn’t the first example to pop up on our radar so far this season, but it is one of the strangest, what with the cape top and cut-out back. We suppose the cape element is a novel way to keep your shoulders warm, but what if you wanted to wear something else over (or under) it? Sorry, but Topshop have taken that option away from you.
Do you like your jumpsuits with added cape though? If you do, this one is £50 from Topshop.
It’s hard to imagine ever wanting to wear a blazer without a hoodie underneath, isn’t it? Or, indeed, to wear a hoodie without a blazer?
What do you mean “no”? If you can imagine wearing one of these items without the other, then that would mean this garment, which consists of the two items stuck together would be, if not altogether useless, then at least rather inconvenient. And who wants inconvenient clothes, pray tell?
Is it you? If it is, you can click here to buy this for £54.99.
At last! A designer has sat up and taken notice of what we keep saying about sticking items of clothing together. If you must do it (and really, is there any reason to do it?) designers, then please take heed of Mr Marc Jacobs. For he has created a sweater and skirt and cuffs, stuck together only by buttons. Buttons that unfasten, and give you three separate items of clothing. We like it, Mr Jacobs. The dress looks cute as an ensemble and each piece works separately too. Is this a first? Stuck together clothes that aren’t actually stuck together?
We like this, but what do you think? Would you buy a 3-in-1 or would you rather choose the pieces separately? If you like it you can buy it for $368 at Shopbop.
“The cool girl’s alternative to leggings” say Net-a-Porter of this item. “Stuck together crime of fashion” say Fashion Police. For yes, this is a pair of leggings with a skirt stuck to them. Mind you, there is no risk of these leggings being worn as pants, is there? But look, look at what they have been styled with! We do believe this is yet another example of the peep toe boots rule (if it has been styled with peep toe boots, it is probably a crime of fashion).
But what’s that Net-A-Porter? You want how much for this viscose-nylon blend creation? £645 you say? Why yes, that’s a perfectly reasonable price for a pair of leggings.
What do you think though readers? Would you wear a leggings-skirt hybrid? Would you pay £645 for it? If the answer to both those questions is yes, then click here to buy.
