Oh dear: looks like the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes again! Or rather he she is, but given that the black body suit isn’t actually part of the “dress”, we don’t think it counts, making this so-called “dress” one of those completely pointless items that cost £45, and are basically a way to allow to effectively walk around in your underwear. “But I AM wearing a dress!” you can say, all innocence. “And look, it almost comes down to my knees: why, it’s really quite modest!”
Sorry, but we’re not buying it. We know you just spent £45 on an almost-invisible dress, and we will never understand why you did it. If it all makes perfect sense to you, however, you may click here to buy it, Emperor…
So we paid our old friends Lionella a visit, you know, just to check up on them, and we were alarmed at what we found. Yes, they are now stocking a shress. Lionella call this ‘sexy, elegant and enticing’, but you dear reader know better of course, don’t you. Insert your own description of this dress in the comments.
If you think we are totally wrong about this however, bail is set at just £36.36 (which should leave you plenty of cash to buy something to wear underneath it) and you can get the shress here.
We think Jessica Biel is one of the prettiest young actresses in Hollywood right now.
We also think she’s one of the bravest (this week, at least), because let’s face it: it’s not every woman who would think, “You know, I’m going to dress to blend in with the carpet. But just so I don’t blend in too much, I’m also going to show my knickers.”
But Jessica did. And now we want to hear what you think about that. Fashion crime, or damn fine? Tell us!
We’re hoping this goes without saying (although, honestly, you can never really be too sure these days), but if you ARE going to buy into the “look, I’m barely clothed!” trend, please, for the love of Gaga, wear something underneath these “dresses”? Or even over them. That might be better.
Also: don’t you love how the sleeves add an extra £85 to the price, but not much actual coverage? Awesome…
The Fashion Police will confess to being more than a little perplexed by this particular case. Because the photo above is actually a bit misleading. This dress is not, as it appears, corseted to within an inch of your spine its life, but held together with sheer panels to either side. Kind of flattering if you happen to be the exact same colour as your backdrop – not so much if you have even the slightest hint of a stomach roll when you sit down. Between the jersey and the sheer they’ve made darned sure there’s nowhere to hide…
And at the same time there’s something about the dress – it might be the cut combined with the length, we’re not sure – that’s a bit… mumsy? It just doesn’t seem to sit right.
What do you think? Could this be worn in a way that was actually quite flattering? Or would you too be just a little self-conscious in so revealing a cut?
Rick Owens tulle insert jersey dress, £258 from The Outnet.
Readers, we’re taking you out for the evening. Fancy party, posh frocks – you know the drill. And don’t worry, it’s all on The Fashion Police – even the clothes, in fact, because here’s the rub: you’re going to have to wear one of these two dresses from our jail. Yes, it’s time for a game of Wear or Die, and that means you either choose one of these to wear or… you die. Simple. (We’d really rather not have to kill you, though, so we’re hoping you’ll play along. Seriously, what’s a bit of VPL amongst friends, anyway?)
As for the dresses, Option A is by Shakuhachi, while Option B is Gareth Pugh. Which would you choose, if you had to wear one… or die?
