Andrea Riseborough, who stars as Wallis Simpson in Madonna’s W.E, is feeling shressed. Sorry, there was apparently just no way we could avoid making that particular pun. At least we got it out of our system, though.
Andrea may not be feeling shressed, then, but she is certainly all shressed up for the NYC premiere of the film, wearing a dress with a sheet skirt, dramatic crumb-catcher front, and strange frilly bit at the front. Yes, that is a technical term.
Now, look, you don’t need us to tell you what we think about shresses for the eleventy-first time. Suffice it to say that every time one appears on the red carpet, an alarm goes off at the Fashion Police HQ, and our officers slide down a pole, like firemen, and get into the, er, FashMobile, to track them down. OK, not really. It would be cool, though, so please always imagine us doing that every time you see a shress on the red carpet.
Back to Andrea: we will probably never be fans of sheer dresses, but it looks like the celebrities of the world are going to continue wearing them, for the forseeable future at least, so let’s hear your verdicts on this one: innocent or guilty?
So, we pretty much all agreed that Kirsten Dunst DONE GOOD last week with that gorgeous yellow dress. In fact, we were so impressed with the dress in question that we awarded Kirsten the Gold Star.
Then she had to go and spoil it all with this DEMI SHRESS.
As you know, The Fashion Police just can’t get on board with the shress, whether demi or otherwise. In fact, sometimes we think a half-shress can look even worse than a full one. At least if the dress is sheer from top to bottom, you know where you stand with it. Sure, it looks bad, but you have to give it some kind of credit for making the commitment to looking bad: to owning its sheerness. It’s see through, it knows it is, and it doesn’t care.
The half-hearted nature of the demi-shress, on the other hand, gives it a bit of an accidental feel. It starts to look less like a fashion choice (albeit a bad one) and more like a wardrobe malfunction in which our hapless celebrity intended to wear a slip with the dress, but forgot. Or the dress wasn’t actually supposed to be sheer in the first place, but was simply rendered so by the sun, or by the photographer’s flash, or whatever.
Such, we feel, is the fate of Kirsten Dunst, in this instance.
We think this kind of dress is a great way to get people asking if you forgot something (like, you know, the rest of your clothes) but what say you to Florence Welch’s “shress”, as worn to the Givenchy show earlier this week, readers?
Can someone please reassure us this has all been some kind of elaborate joke, and there aren’t actually people walking around dressed like this? Please?
(Click here to buy it | Thanks to Courtney for the report!)
Oh dear: looks like the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes again! Or rather he she is, but given that the black body suit isn’t actually part of the “dress”, we don’t think it counts, making this so-called “dress” one of those completely pointless items that cost £45, and are basically a way to allow to effectively walk around in your underwear. “But I AM wearing a dress!” you can say, all innocence. “And look, it almost comes down to my knees: why, it’s really quite modest!”
Sorry, but we’re not buying it. We know you just spent £45 on an almost-invisible dress, and we will never understand why you did it. If it all makes perfect sense to you, however, you may click here to buy it, Emperor…
