Browsing Tag

shoulder pads

Crimes of Fashion, Shirts & Tops

What big shoulders you have, fashion criminals…

Viktor & Rolf shirt

This shirt will cost you £450. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that if giant beetles ever rise up and take over the planet, you’ll be able to throw in this shirt, and try to pass yourself off as a human/beetle hybrid. In this way you’ll be able to live among our insect overlords in relative peace. Until one day they recognise you as the impostor you are, and eat you, obviously.

Actually, that might have been the bad news? The idea of people paying THAT MUCH for THIS has clearly disturbed us, and we need to go and lie down. Still, we hear that big shoulders are going to be, like, SO HOT this season. That has to count for something, no?

[Buy it]
Crimes of Fashion, Shirts & Tops

Shoulder pads go wild

Is it a sweater, or is it a giant Mickey Mouse head? We just don’t know.

What we DO know is that the brand is called Moonspoon Saloon and the top is called ‘Backstage Elephant”, so we give them credit for creative naming at least.

We’re still arresting the shoulders, though…

(Click here to buy it)

Celebrity Fashion

Rihanna attends a press conference in Seoul

Rihanna in jacket and skirt

Rihanna goes for a blend of “tough” and “not-so-tough” in a structured jacket and floaty skirt, during a press conference in Seoul this week to promote her new album, ‘Rated R’.

Rihanna also celebrated her birthday a little bit early (the day itself isn’t until February 20th) by cutting a giant cake and accepting a birthday gift. Happy birthday Rihanna (when it comes)!

Crimes of Fashion, Shirts & Tops

Camilla and Marc’s Grand Prince t-shirt: now that’s what we call shoulder pads

Shoulder pads: now even uglier

There’s good news and there’s bad news, readers.

The good news: Wearing shoulder pads inside your clothes is, like, SO last season, seriously.

The bad news: This season you’ll be expected to wear them outside your clothes instead. If they can be covered in studs too, well, so much the better.

Convinced? This is £77.52 and available now for pre-order at My Catwalk.

Crimes of Fashion, Outerwear

Revenge of the Shoulderpads: Dolce & Gabbana’s puff sleeve trenchcoat

dolce-&-gabbana-trenchcoat

We’ve had to put up with a lot from shoulder pads this year. They’ve been on everything from dresses to jackets to shirts: in fact, chances are that if it covers your shoulders, it’s probably had a pair of giant foam pads inserted into it at some point this year.

We think this Dolce & Gabbana trench coat is one of the more amusing shoulder-pad pieces of the year, though: not just because the thought of paying £1,850 for something we’d have trouble fitting through doorways in makes us snicker slightly, but because it looks like the Incredible Hulk is about to come busting out of it at any second. In fact, we’re pretty sure that if the Hulk shopped at Dolce & Gabbana, this is what he’d buy.

If you want to buy it too, you can pick it up at Browns.

Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Duke & Duchess white lace dress arrested for “visible shoulder pads” offence

Visible shoulder pads: WHY?

Visible shoulder pads: WHY?

This Duke & Duchess dress was actually a citizen’s arrest by Fashion Police reader, Alice. It’s been taken into custody, not simply for being a white lace dress, and therefore the sort of thing Britney Spears would (and has) worn to one of her weddings, but because of this:

Eyeball bleach, anyone?

Eyeball bleach, anyone?

Bad enough for the shoulder pads to exist in the first place. But for them to be so highly visible? And so very PINK? They almost distracted us from the super-ugly black zip, which really has no place on this see-through lace dress, but only almost: we see the black zip and the pink shoulder pads, and we consider them sufficient reason to cast this dress into the depths of Fashion Police jail. Bail is set at £60, and is payable to ASOS.com.

Crimes of Fashion

Top 5 Fashion Crimes – October 2009

top-fashion-crimes

You know what? Fashion’s just really ugly right now, isn’t it? We seem to have entered into a phase where almost every trend out there is designed to be as unflattering as possible, and while you can still find the odd little gem if you look hard enough, for the most part, we’ve been finding our daily work of policing the fashion world fairly depressing. We blame the ongoing 80s revival. It makes everything look like it’s had a good hard beating with the ugly stick, and, as a result, we don’t think our cells have ever been fuller.

Here are our top five fashion hates of the moment:

 

1. Shoulder pads

We understand that Balmain did it.  We can just about wrap our heads around the urge to create a different, and more dramatic silhouette than we’re used to seeing. But the fact remains: shoulder pads are not flattering. Not on anyone, really. Not unless you actually ARE planning on playing American football. And the problem is, EVERYTHING comes with shoulder pads at the moment. Everything. We’ve personally had to snip the damn things out of more than a couple of sweaters and dresses lately, and we’re getting used to that sinking feeling of despair when we pull something pretty from the rack, only to recoil in horror as we realise it has shoulders that would shame Crystal Carrington. Please, fashion world, just stop it.

2. Ripped/shredded clothing

Whether it’s ripped leggings, shredded jeans or laddered tights, we hate it. It doesn’t make you look “edgy”, it makes you look like a homeless fashion victim. The tights we can live with as long as there’s another (non-laddered) pair underneath in a contrasting colour, but the Lady Gaga style ripped leggings, worn with nothing underneath, and flesh spilling out of the cracks? Pass us the eyeball bleach…

3. See-through dresses/skirts/anything else

Please, put some clothes on. Any clothes at all. Even ripped ones would be better than this trashy trend.

4. Leggings as pants

We love leggings – seriously, we do. But the important thing to remember about leggings is that LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. Got it? NOT PANTS. It’s such a simple thing, really: isn’t it amazing how many people get it wrong?

5. Anything Lady Gaga would wear.

Look, Gaga is great. Let’s leave the wet-look leotards and knickers-as-pants to her, though, eh? It’ll be better for all of us…

What are your top fashion hates right now? Tell us in the comments!

[ripped tights, Free People]