shoe porn

black patent pumps

High Street Shopping Pick of the Day: KG by Kurt Geiger Coco patent court shoes

After the horror of the Frankenshoes we arrested earlier, we needed something simple and stylish to cleanse our fashion palettes. We found it in Kurt Geiger’s patent ‘Coco’ pumps. There is nothing exciting, innovative or edgy about these shoes. They’re never going to be the kind of shoes that people stop you in the street to coo over and ask where you bought them. In fact, some of you will undoubtedly find them boring. Sometimes, though, the simplest shoes end up being the ones you reach for over and over again: these may be “boring” buy they’ll never go out of style, and while the £120 price tag isn’t the cheapest you’ll find, we reckon they’ll more than earn their…

Pink colourblock high heel dress shoes

Shoe Porn: Pink dress shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti and Brian Atwood

(Shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti and B Brian Atwood, available at Neiman Marcus) Would we wear these shoes? Well, probably not, if we’re honest. Because Barbie may be A style icon, but she’s not exactly our style icon, if you know what we mean. Or since we were, ooh, about 21 10, anyway. Do we still enjoy looking at them, though? Hell, yes. That’s why they’re Shoe Porn: they have a kind of “look, but don’t touch” vibe about them, especially given that they’re $695 and $350, respectively. Now, having shown you these shoes, we feel duty-bound to report that neon colours are “bang on trend” (drinking game!) this season. And, of course, colourblocking is the fashion trend that just won’t…

Shoe Porn: Miss KG ‘Minnie’ shoes in red suede and black polka dot

We liked the original version of Miss KG’s ‘Minnie’ pumps, which has a soft grey upper with a pink bow. We like the 2011 upgrade even better, though, even although these have taken a much more literal interpretation of the ‘Minnie’ name, and will have to be styled carefully so you don’t ACTUALLY end up looking like Minnie Mouse. Still, red shoes have always been our thing, and when you add an oversized bow in a fun print, it gives them an extra element of cuteness, and makes them even more attention-getting than they were to start with. We approve. These are £80: click here to buy them.

KG by Kurt Geiger Eucalyptus crystal bow detail platform court shoe

Shoe Porn: KG by Kurt Geiger Eucalyptus platforms

Here’s a gorgeous pair of shoes we just know our chief of police will love.  Look at the bows!  Look at the little crystal details (which from a distance look like polka dots!  Look at the shape!  The platform and the perfect skinny stiletto!  Look at the pretty colour!  (Plus we think ‘Eucalyptus’ is a pretty fantastic word.) These also come in a nude option and if you love them as much as we do, you can buy them for £150 from ASOS.

Christian Louboutin suede over the knee boot purple

Shoe Porn: Louboutin over the knee boots in purple suede

We are rather partial to an over the knee boot here at Fashion Police HQ, and even more so if Mr Louboutin has had a hand in making it.  These are in a gorgeous purple suede and have a lovely rounded toe – the perfect winter boots?  Sadly these are not destined to become ours, given that the price tag is a whopping £1293.81, but if you can afford them they are available from Saks Fifth Avenue.

Shoe Porn: Zara black pointed toe court shoes

We know pointed toes have been out of favour with the fash pack for a while now, but if ever there was a shoe to make us want to bring them back, this would be it: the photo in the bottom right corner of the image alone would be enough to do it. We’re also really glad to be able to report that these come from good ol’ Zara, so they’ll only set you back £59.99, as opposed to the more usual £599.99 usually attached to a piece of Shoe Porn. Good work, Officer Zara! (Click here to buy them)

Shoe porn: Miu Miu polka-dot sandals

Ok, so in Fashion Police HQ’s corner of the world it may still be decidedly wintery out, but that doesn’t stop us from craving warm Spring days and the chance to bring out the sandals. And on a wet, miserable January morning, what could be more cheering than a pair of polka-dot platforms? How about a pair of cross-front, ankle-strapped, navy and white polka-dot platforms with pale green trim? We hereby confiscate them, for… ummmm… unseasonal activity. Yeah. Oh, and for being outside our our budget – definite criminal activity… Miu Miu polka-dot sandals, £295 at Net-a-Porter.

Schuh Porn: Green ‘Frenchie Butterfly’ court shoes

So, as we’ve noted before, these shoes are a complete rip-off of a style Dolce & Gabanna released a couple of seasons ago – or, at least, the black and white versions, which Schuh were selling last year, are. We’re going to overlook it on this occasion, however, because… … well, because lookit them. Green. Suede. Butterflies. We love them. We covet them. And one day, we just might buy them. Hopefully when they’re on sale, though. If you don’t want to wait until then, you can click here to buy them right now, for £70.

Shoe Porn: Red Polka dot court shoes from Next

“Porn” is possibly the wrong choice of words for these polka dot shoes, because they’re definitely more sweet than sexy, but when Shoeperwoman spotted them earlier this month, we knew we’d have to take them into our safe keeping: well, we wouldn’t want anyone being corrupted by them, would we? These are a lethal combination of all the things The Fashion Police love in the footwear world: the bow, the polka dot, the red heel… and surprisingly enough, for once they’re not ridiculously priced, at just £35 – amazing. (Click here to buy them)

Valentino studded leather and lace pumps

Shoe porn: Valentino studded leather and lace pumps

Leather, lace, studs and peep-toes – you’d think the multitude of design features would be too much for one little shoe to bear… But it’s not. Oh no – these little beauties are so, well, beautiful, that they can pull off the whole kit-n-kaboodle AND a couple of bows to boot! We hereby confiscate them as potentially dangerous. What with the studs and stilettoes, and the fact that, were they ours, we’d want to be wearing them day-in, day-out, doubtlessly resulting eventually in a broken ankle… Valentino studded leather and lace pumps, £580 from Net-a-Porter.

Shoe Porn: Kurt Geiger Fashionistas ‘Corso Como’ blue crystal embellished pumps

The Fashion Police are hereby confiscating this case of Shoe Porn with immediate effect. We’ll be taking these Kurt Geiger ‘Corso Como’ pumps into our custody, so that no one can be corrupted by them. Well, no one except us, anyway. Well also take the black versions and the yellow versions, just to keep you all safe from temptation. It’s OK you don’t need to thank us, we’re just doing our job… If, however, you feel you can be trusted to keep the shoes safe, and treat them with the respect they deserve, you can click here to buy them from Kurt Geiger, where they’re £290. Oh, if only they were just a little bit less expensive!

Shoe Porn: Brian Atwood ‘Donna’ black patent pumps

Brian Atwood has provided us with Shoe Porn on a couple of occasions now. We’d call him the Shoe Porn-King, but we somehow don’t think he’d like that, so we’ll simply note that the man makes some seriously sexy shoes – these “Donna” pumps included – and leave it at that. Oh. and we’ll also note that these look even better from the back than they do from the front:

Shoe Porn: Giuseppe Zanotti crystal-bow embellished suede pumps

Every so often there comes a time when we just can’t resist showing you a pair of shoes adorned with lots of tiny little crystal bows. Apparently this is one of those times. These are by Giuseppe Zanotti, and they’re a heart-breaking £665 at Net-a-Porter. Close-up under the jump.

Shoe Porn: Kurt Geiger ‘Cairo’ green suede platform peep toes

Just to take your mind off those Marc Jacobs jester boots we showed you earlier today, here’s our favourite shoe of the week, courtesy of our sister shoe blog, Shoeperwoman. These are ‘Cairo’ by Kurt Geiger, and we don’t know about you, but we’d sell our sister for them – assuming we actually had one, of course. As we don’t, we’ll just have to settle for admiring them from afar, and hoping they eventually go on sale for even a little bet less than the £199 they’re currently retailing for. Also available in black and blush patent, we think this gorgeous green suede is the best colour of all. Get them here – just try to leave a pair or two…

Shoe Porn: Sexy Donna Karan peep-toe raffia pumps

Yep, you read that right. Sexy raffia. How this basket weave material best known for Grandma’s porch furniture was crafted into a shoe Dita Von Teese would envy we haven’t the resources to investigate. But Donna Karan seems to have done it. Sure, there have been somewhat stylish raffia shoes in the past, but they were decidedly beachy and casual. Taking it to this level (5.5 inches, to be exact) is pretty impressive. Speaking of resources, we’re a bit low on the $795 these babies cost. But if you like them you can get the  Donna Karan peep-toe raffia pumps at Net-a-Porter. If you don’t, you know where the comment box is…

Shoe Porn: Pink peep toes by Rene Caovilla

It’s been a while since we confiscated some Shoe Porn, but we thought these pink peep toes by Rene Caovilla fit the bill rather nicely.  As Shoeperwoman noted, they have a real “boudoir” feel to them, and seem to be just begging to be worn with a silk negligee and… not much else. Sadly, the 790 euro price tag precludes us from buying them, so we’ll just have to take them into custody instead. Don’t worry, we’ll look after them…

Fashion Fraud Squad: Christian Louboutin’s Pigalle pumps Vs Dune’s ‘Olson’

Would you all mind just talking amongst yourselves for a few minutes? We’re busy gazing at these shoes. Both of them. Sure, the Louboutins are shinier and sleeker, but the Dune versions are only £85, which is a big saving on the circa £400 you’d have paid for the Louboutins, if they were still in stock. Of course, quite apart from anything else, these are a good example of Shoe Porn, which means we’re going to have to confiscate them. Poor us. It’s a hard knock life, sometimes.

Shoe Porn: Christian Louboutin’s red Feticha pumps

Well, we know what WE’RE going to be asking Father Christmas for this year:Christian Louboutin’s ‘Feticha’ pumps in red. In the meantime, we’re confiscating this little bit of Shoe Porn. There are some perks to being The Fashion Police, after all…

Shoe Porn: Miu Miu glitter peep toe pumps

Welcome back, Miu Miu. You threw us some serious curve balls in the shoe department last year, so we’re glad to see you back to doing what you do best: creating beautiful, ostentatious, totally over-the-top shoes that we’d never wear, but which make us drool like small children at the sight of them. It’s good to have you back. As for these, though: The Fashion Police are going to have to confiscate them, as we do all cases of Shoe Porn. Don’t worry, we’ll look after them… BUY: Miu Miu glitter peep toe pumps, £320 [Via our shoe blog, Shoeperwoman]

Shoe Porn: Beatrix Ong red patent Mary Janes

Shoeperwoman wrote about these shoes yesterday, pointing out that while some Mary Janes can look a little bit child-like, these ones by Beatrix Ong are pure sex-in-a-shoe. And they are. Which is why we’re confiscating them, as Shoe Porn. Ah well, the world’s loss is the Fashion Police’s gain. If you’d like to liberate them, bail is set at £350, and you can buy them here.