Yoko Ono Fashions for Men 1969-2012

Yoko Ono Fashions for Men 1969-2012

This all makes sense once you realize it was designed by Yoko Ono. Seriously, if we’d had to guess, we’d have said either: a) Yoko Ono or b) A 13-year-old schoolboy who didn’t realise the designs would be made into ACTUAL clothes. Let’s investigate further: The man bra. The perfect Christmas gift for the guy who has everything! We’re fairly sure that top is based on some graffiti we’ve seen on a wall near the Fashion Police HQ… This one’s called “The Conservative Suit”. The joke is that it’s NOT conservative. Oh, how your boss will laugh when you roll into the office with THIS on your ass: How we’ll ALL laugh, in fact. We can hear the “can I…

male model in dungarees

Modelling is Hard: Dungaree Edition

It’s tempting to think the problem here lies mostly with styling (and, perhaps, with the lack of ironing): or maybe that should be the lack of styling. When you really sit back and take a look at it, though, can you see ANY way of styling these  in a way that would make them suddenly acceptable? Or suddenly worth spending more than £500 on? We can’t. But if you can, we’d sure love to hear your suggestions… [Buy them]

extreme harem pants

Fashion Police for the Boys: Rick Owens Edition

We’re not normally ones to suggest that clothes should ever be joined together – heaven forbid! But even we have to admit that these… …might just look a tiny bit better if they were to magically be combined with this: It would still be a misdemeanor, of course, but at least we wouldn’t be sitting here desperately trying to resist making all the jokes that come to mind at the sight of that, er, package. As for this, however: This is beyond our help. What’s the point of a down jacket without sleeves? Exactly.

Luar Zepol

Fashion Police for the Boys: Luar Zepol Fall 2012

Well, THIS doesn’t look awkward. This isn’t awkward either. And this looks nothing like Sheriff Woody, on a particularly fashion-forward day. Nope. Every day would be a fashion-forward one in these outfits, mind you. They’re by Luar Zepol, and you can click here to see the rest of the Fall 2012 collection. Enjoy!

Men in skirts

Men in Skirts: Rick Owens mens drawstring skirt

We’ve long been of the opinion that as women are able to wear pretty much whatever they like, we can see no reason whatsoever why men shouldn’t be able to do the same, and slip into a skirt or dress every now and then, if they feel the need. The “male skirt”, however, is a look that’s never really made it into the mainstream, so we were interested to see this one as part of Rick Owens’ current menswear collection. Regardless of which gender wears it, we tend to think it’s a pretty ugly skirt, if we’re perfectly honest. What about you, though: can you see you/your guy rocking this? Think it’s a look that’ll catch on? And would you…

see-through shorts for men

Sheer Shorts for the Boys

It had to happen eventually, didn’t it? Women have been able to, er, enjoy, shresses and shants for years now, after all, so it’s only fair that men should be able to get in on the action too, with these sheer shorts by Mugler. We could forgive these if they were underwear, of course. But we don’t think they are, because they’re polyurethane and that can’t be comfortable under a pair of jeans, say. Oh yeah, and because they’re $570, and who buys $570 underpants? Other than fashion victims, we mean? So, guys, how do you feel about wearing shorts that will put either you or your underwear on full display? Want a pair? Then click here, and have your credit card…

strange outerwear for men

Modelling is Hard: Kampe Menswear edition

They had to balance on scary cubes. And they had to do it while wearing some of the most uncomfortable looking outerwear we’ve seen outside of a Margiela runway show. They did it for fashion, people. And they did it for YOU. Yes, these brave models wear the strange coats so you don’t have to. But perhaps you WANT to wear the strange coats? Well, the good news is that you can: these are by German label Kampe, and they’re not just concept pieces – they’re actually available to buy and wear over at Not Just a Label. Just be aware that you won’t get much change out of £1,000 – and for some of them, you’ll be needing much…

Male models in ugly outfits

Modelling is Hard: Male Model Edition

So, you thought female models had it tough, did you? All those sheer dresses, the boob windows, the harem pants. The struggle to keep a straight face while dressed in the type of outfit you wouldn’t even wear to a costume party. Yes, modelling is many things, but glamorous it ain’t. Or at least, not for most of the models we feature here on TFP. Hard though it may be, though, those girls have it easy compared to the brave gentlemen chosen – or perhaps “sacrificed” would be a better word here? – to model the KTZ Winter 2011 collection. These poor guys just never stood a chance. Faced with such a startlingly ugly selection of clothing, they did what…

What do you call cameltoe for men?

We call it “these Julien David pants“: You can’t un-see it now, can you? Want to know the saddest thing about this? They’re drop-crotch pants.You shouldn’t be able to get a cameltoe from a drop-crotch, should you? It’s the one thing – the ONE THING – that’s good about this particular “style”. By some terrible cosmic irony, however, a dropped crotch can actually create the illusion of a cameloe where none exists, as in the example above. Or it can make an existing cameltoe much, much worse. We see you shaking your head at that. We’re going to make you wish you hadn’t doubted us: (Note: the image over the jump may be NSFW. Or for eyes. Eyeball bleach at…

Modelling is Hard: Male Model Edition

Poor guy. No wonder he’s hiding his face, though: You’d hide your face too if you were being made to wear these: Adult diaper alert! And it looks like a pretty full one, too.. It’s not any better from the back, by the way: Sexxxaaaayyy! (Hands off girls, we seen him first…) Modelling is hard, people. Won’t someone save these poor models? [Click here to view or buy the clothes]

Fashion Police for the Boys: Rodarte for Opening Ceremony lace suit

Lace isn’t a fabric you tend to see a lot of in menswear, but of course, there’s absolutely no reason why that should be the case. After all, we women get to wear whatever we like, so why should men be any different? Our issue here, then, isn’t with the fact that the suit is made from lace. Indeed, we’re sure there are many occasions where a lace suit is just the thing. We just can’t seem to think of any at the moment. (Feel free to suggest some, though.) No, our main concern here is that we can’t quite work out whether those pants are lined. Sometimes we think they are: Exhibit A: Lace pants, possibly lined That looks like a scarp…

Fashion Police for the Boys: Levi’s Ex-Girlfriend (Super-Skinny) Jeans

For a long time now, we women have had the “boyfriend” jean. It seems only fair that there should be some kind of male equivalent to the “hey, look, I’m wearing my partner’s clothes!” look, and luckily Levi’s have made sure there is, with their “Ex-Girlfriend” jeans for men. These are basically super-skinny jeans, almost like leggings in the narrowness of the leg and tightness of the crotch. The female version has been around for a while now (much to our readers’ dismay: super-skinnies didn’t find much favour here when we last featured them), but now we want to know what you think of the guy’s version? Would you wear Ex-Girlfriend jeans, men? Would you like to SEE your guy…

Fashion Police Glossary: “Meggings” – male leggings

A couple of weeks ago, it was brought to our attention that is currently trying to encourage men to wear leggings: and no, we don’t mean “under trousers, when it’s really cold” or “under shorts, for long-distance running”, we mean every day. As fashion items. Now, in the spirit of equal opportunity, The Fashion Police would have to say we can see no reason why men shouldn’t wear leggings if they so desire. If men DO want to wear leggings, however, we think they should abide by the same basic “rule” we ask women to observe. Yes, we’re talking about the Leggings Are Not Pants rule. Guys, this applies to you, too. Please don’t wear them as pants. It’s…

Humor jeans santiago

Humor Santiago jeans: For men who wear nappies

We are sad to report that the drop crotch trend (which refuses to die) has now spread to menswear.  Ladies, would you date a guy who looks like there’s a soggy wet nappy under his jeans?  No, us neither.  We can only assume that with a name like Humor, the brand is joking and these aren’t a real product. What?  They are real?  Kill us now. Gentlemen: you have been warned – purchase these at your dating peril.  If you must have them though, they are £75 at Unique Menswear.

Rolando Sturlini Marshall zip boot at Kurt Geiger

Fashion Police for the Boys: Rolando Sturlini Marshall zip boots – clown shoes for men

Wouldn’t you be afraid you were going to trip over in these, chaps?  Certainly viewed like this they bear more than a passing resemblance to clown shoes but on a foot they may well look different.  Has anyone seen these in person and tried them on?  And what do you think of them?  Gentlemen, would you wear them?  Ladies, would you like your man to wear them?  Strangely it seems the larger sizes are the ones that have been snapped up first, which we would have thought would make the turned up end look even more extreme. If you wear a size 41 or 42 and want a pair of these, you can buy them here for the sale price…