maison martin margiela

skinny wide leg jeans hybrid

Can’t decide between skinny jeans and wide-leg jeans?

  Can’t decide whether to wear skinny jeans or wide-leg jeans? Well, now you don’t have to! With this cunning combination of skinny and wide, you can have the worst of both worlds: skinny from the front, slouchy from the back! They’re the mullet of the denim world, and they’re just £235 at Yoox.com. We think we’re going to call them “winny jeans”. WIde/skINNY? No? [Buy them]

Maison Martin Margiela for H&M:

Maison Martin Margiela for H&M: what do you think?

As we’re sure most of you are aware, this week saw the launch of Maison Martin Margiela’s capsule collection for H&M. Now, this was an interesting one for us, not just because Margiela is one of our all-time favourite fashion criminals (in fact, if Margiela himself was still designing for the brand, he’d be like The Godfather of the fashion crime ring which currently has a stranglehold on style), but because the very avant-garde style of this brand is so very different from the kind of thing the H&M demographic is used to. Despite being a fashionista favourite, beloved of the type of people who care deeply about being “edgy”, Margiela doesn’t have the mainstream popularity of some of the…

crime of fashion

Winter woolies, fashion criminal style

Well, as long as your thighs are warm, who cares about freezing your butt and back? That seems to be the thinking behind this item, anyway. And really, this isn’t so much a fashion crime as it is a fashion mystery: the kind of thing that makes us shake our head and wonder who on earth would look at something like this and think, “£125? Oh HELL yes: this is just the thing that’s missing from my life!” Would you? [Buy it]

crime of fashion

Modelling is Hard: Maison Martin Margiela edition

This outfit is one of those things that just gets stranger, and more confusing, the longer you look at it. At first you think it’s just a simple pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater, and who could possibly object to that? Then you notice that although the model’s head has been cut off (Not by us, we hasten to add. Our officers are authorised to use force if necessary when arresting fashion criminals  but not THAT much force…), whoever did it has failed to disguise that the turtleneck comes all the way up to her eyes: How can she breathe under there? How can she hear? Or speak? Does her union rep know about any of this? Then you realise…

Maison Martin Margiela sleeveless t-shirt

Straight-jacket style, with Maison Martin Margiela

“Sleeveless t-shirt” is how Yoox.com describes these garments. They’re wrong, though. They’re not REALLY sleeveless. Oh no, these have sleeves all right. It’s just… they’re attached to the sides on the shirts. So, if you decided to wear one of these, your choice would be to either: a) Walk around with your arms plastered to your sides, straight-jacket style. or b) Free your arms, but have to walk around with those sleeves flapping against them all the time. Getting dressed has never been so tricky, has it? Leave it to Maison Martin Margiela to take the basic t-shirt and make it “edgy”. And leave it to MMM, too, to take something that should be comfortable and easy, and turn it into the…

Maison Martin Margiela jumpsuit jacket

Crime of Fashion: Maison Martin Margiela jumpuit jacket

That awkward moment when the hostess asks if she can take your jacket and you have t wriggle your way out of it and then hand it over, legs dangling… (Oh, don’t give us the, “But it’s ART! It doesn’t HAVE to be practical!” thing. Yoox.com describes it as a “jacket”, not a “sculpture”. It’s being sold as an item of clothing, on a clothing website: it’s fair to assume they expect you to wear it, not hang it on your wall…). [Click here to buy it]

how to get a body like barbie

How to get a body like Barbie

Of course, by “body like Barbie”, we mean “you won’t actually look human”. Now you’re kinda glad you DON’T look like Barbie, huh? On another note, if anyone can suggest where you’d wear this, we’d love to hear it. We’re thinking “modest swimwear”, for folks who’d secretly rather be wearing a bikini? Other ideas welcomed… This is by  – who else? – Maison Martin Margiela, and you can click here to buy it at Yoox.

maison martin margiela two-tone leggings

Clever or Creepy? Maison Martin Margiela two-tone leggings

“Um, what gives, Fashion Police?” we can almost hear you thinking. “Why are you showing us someone’s legs in a pair of plain black shorts? That’s no crime of fashion!” Look again. Look closer. Look particularly closely at the wrinkles around the ankles. Realise that those aren’t “legs” you’re looking at: they’re leggings. And they’re leggings which are designed to look like legs. Yup, Maison Martin Margiela is at it again, with the whole “clothes designed to look like you’re not wearing any clothes” thing. And we’re still wondering a) WHY? and b) what on earth people who don’t have this exact shade of skin are supposed to do? It’s not really a case of “one skin tone suits all”,…

Maison Martin Margiela painted booties

Maison Martin Margiela is listening

Maison Martin Margiela heard that we didn’t like their PVC ankle boots much. So they fixed them. By… allowing a toddler loose on them with a paintbrush. And if you think the paint job looks bad enough from a distance, check out the close-up: We feel ill now. As in, this makes us feel physically uncomfortable. And honestly: if your outfit looks like it might have been the victim of a terrible accident, it’s a good sign that you’re committing a crime of fashion, isn’t it? Still, at least we know now that it IS possible to make a bad thing even worse. Just leave it to Maison Martin Margiela…

see through shoes

The Emperor’s New Shoes

It’s an “ugly shoe” kind of a day, so here’s another suspect, this time by our old friends and hardened fashion criminals at Maison Martin Margiela. We actually hesitate to call these “ugly shoes”, because they’re barely even shoes at all. Or not shoes that you can see, anyway. These have a clear upper and perspex heel, so should basically create the effect that you’re walking around barefoot, on your toes. Which will be … interesting. Also, that reminds us: we need to book an appointment for a pedicure… What do you think, Fashion Force? Are these the emperor’s new shoes, or are they the best thing since… well, since the last pair of see-through shoes we showed you? These are £675:…

Reverse Mullet Shirt by Maison Martin Margiela

Introducing The Reverse Mullet Shirt

We’re sure there’s a reason why this shirt exists. We’re sure there must be occasions for which the most appropriate of all clothing options is a shirt which is almost ankle-length at the front (and on a 5’9″ model, which means it would be pretty much floor-length on The Fashion Police), and almost non-existent at the back. We’re also sure there must be a reason why it’s $295. We’re just not sure what any of those reasons are yet. Do YOU know? This is by MM6 Maison Martin Margiela. Click here to buy it at Shopbop.

square cardigan by Maison Martin Margiela

It’s (Not) Hip to Be Square

Maison Martin Margiela‘s square knitwear (and coats, and other items) have been around for a long time now (in fact, one of the items from that collection makes a guest appearance in our header!), but for some reason, we’d never actually seen one from the back. And now that we have… well, we kinda wish we hadn’t, to be completely honest, because seriously, who knew that this could possibly get worse? WHO KNEW?

White t-shirt with fur patches

Monthly Margiela: The Hair Shirt

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that not a month goes by without us having to take the folks at Maison Martin Margiela to task for some hideous Crime of Fashion or other. Margiela himself doesn’t design for the brand any more, but his influence lives on, and we view him as a kind of Evil Overlord of the fashion world: kind of like the Joker, only with weirder outfits. Anyway, so great is MMM’c occupancy of our cells that we decided to give the brand a monthly slot here. And what do they have in store for us this month, we hear you ask? Oh, just this: OH GOD. It’s no use, we were trying to be blasé about it,…

The Creepiest Shirt in the World: official

“Oh, look!” we thought. “Net-a-Porter has started showing some of the clothes on headless mannequins! How weird!” Folks, that’s not a mannequin. And it’s thankfully not a model with her head missing. Those are gloves. And they’re attached to the sweater. We have SO MANY QUESTIONS HERE:

Turned up jeans: big enough for ya?

You know what we hate? What we really, really hate? The fact that so many pairs of jeans seem to be cut for people with the legs of a supermodel. And yes, we know we can have them hemmed. We know we can turn them up. But seriously, how many people in the world actually are supermodels? Surely not that many? That’s by-the-by, though. Because what we’d like to know is just who the hell Maison Martin Margiela had in mind when then made these jeans. Look, even the model has had to turn them all the way up to her knees! OK, we’re kidding. We know perfectly well that these were designed to be worn with turn-ups. And hey,…

Lettuce trousers, to go with your lettuce top

Remember the Maison Martin Margiela lettuce top we showed you a few weeks ago? Well, here’s the matching trousers: And now your outfit – not to mention your LIFE – is complete. Don’t you just love it when things work out? (Also available in pink and white – click here to buy them.)

Maison Martin Margiela redefines the word “dungarees”

This is NOT a caped mini dress being worn with a pair of thigh-high boots, as amusing as that concept might be. No, these are dungarees. As in, the “thigh high boots” are actually leather chaps, which are attached to the “dress”, creating “dungarees”. We feel like we’ve learned something today. For instance, we’ve learned there are people in the world who are willing to spend £1,690 on stuff like this. And that Maison Martin Margiela REALLY has a lot to answer for. Are you one of them? Click here if you are… If you’re not, meanwhile, just stay where you are and enjoy the back view: