Having carefully examined all the evidence in the case of Keira Knightly V. Tasteful Magazine Covers, I think we have to conclude that Keira is clearly on some kind of mission to create the fugliest cover the world has ever known. She gave it a good shot with this month’s Interview Magazine, but damn if she hasn’t managed to outdo herself with February’s ‘W’.

The denim jacket/bra combo is bad enough. I think we can take that as read. But… did anyone else catch ‘Sean of the Dead’ when it was on terrestrial this weekend? And is anyone else uncomfortably reminded of one of the Undead when they look at this picture of Keira Knightley?

(The jacket, by the way, is Chanel, for Spring/Summer 08. Just in case any of you want to rush out and buy it.)

Keira, we love your makeup and hair, here. Even although you’ve gone the Katie Holmes/Chritina Ricci "fringe" route, we think it works for you, and you’re looking as pretty as ever. But the thing is Keira – and we hesitate to bring this up again, when we had words with you about it just yesterday – but why do you persist in wearing outfits which use just a flimsy scarp of material over the nipples, leaving the rest of your torso bare like this? And what will it take to stop you?

Keira Knightley say’s she’s developed a strong case of "red carpet phobia" – and it’s all our fault, apparently. Yes, Keira is frightened of the fashion police (and well she should be, one might say): "I’ve become completely phobic about the red carpet," she says, "because you just get so scrutinised and all I can think is I’m going to be in the top ten worst dressed list tomorrow."

Keira also says she’d love to have Beth Ditto’s body. Oh, for crying out loud, would you give us a break, Keira? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Beth Ditto, but I’m getting so sick of this "Beth Ditto has the sexiest body ever, everyone should aim to have a body like hers" thing that’s saturating the media at the moment. Beth Ditto is 5"1 and weighs 15 stone. Now, you can argue all you like that she looks great on it (and hey, sometimes she does), but the fact is that her kind of size is not healthy. Yes, yes, I know it’s possible to be "fat and fit", but most people who are that much overweight aren’t overweight because they’re eating well and getting plenty of exercise, are they?

It really sickens me to see someone like Keira, who often looks painfully thin (although she has denied anorexia) saying they’d love to be obese. Talk about from one extreme to another. Why not try getting yourself a healthy role model, Keira? Someone who’s neither anorexic or obese? Because you can go right ahead and balloon to 15 stone if you want to, but I seriously doubt you’ll be any healthier at that weight than you are now.