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jeffret campbell

Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Frankenshoes: Jeffrey Campbell ‘Sporty’ flatforms

Jeffery Campbell flatform shoes with stripe soles

With the creation of these shoes, the lines between “fashion victims” and “clowns” will become even more blurred. Thanks, Jeffrey Campbell.

Actually, for a long time now, we’ve suspected Jeffrey Campbell, enemy of feet, is playing an elaborate joke on the fashion victims of the world. Knowing that they will now apparently buy and wear anything he puts in front of them, declaring it to be “fierce!”, he’s now just seeing how far he can go with footwear that makes people look like clowns, isn’t he? And the scary thing? It’s working. People are gushing over these ‘Sporty’ flatforms over on Solestruck. They’re buying them. They’re presumably wearing them, and walking around like flat-footed giants, on those 4″ stripey platform soles. This makes us fear for the future of stylish humanity. And also for the future of professional clowns, now we come to think of it, because how will they be able to find work when every fashion blogger on the planet looks just like them?

We’re scared. Hold us.

(Want to buy them? Click here to do it, but please take a moment to tell us how you’re planning to wear them first!)

Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Frankenshoes: The Benched Shoe by Jeffrey Campbell

Jeffrey Campbell has been on the Fashion Police’s ‘Wanted’ list for a while now, for being part of a deadly duo (Jessica Simpson being the other half) who, between them, managed to convinced fashionistas around the world last year that they desperately needed to make their feet look like they belonged on a giantess.

Now Jeffrey is back with ‘The Benched Shoe’. Clearly Jeff was disturbed halfway through designing this, and the result is that the entire middle section is missing. There’s a toe and a heel, but arch support? Forget it.

We’re going to be generous here and assume that these shoes are more comfortable, and better for your feet, than the images suggest. Would you buy them, though, that is the question? Will they be the next ‘Lita’?