Harem Pants: Officially Still Ugly

Not that there was ever really any doubt about this, but just in case there was, we’d like to take this opportunity to confirm that yes, harem pants are still ugly. They didn’t get any better looking in the few weeks since we last wrote about them. More worrying still, ignoring them doesn’t seem to make them go away. We really thought it would, you know. We thought it would be one of those “trends” which wouldn’t actually exist outside the pages of the fashion magazines and the runways of a few select designers: that most people with eyes would be able to see that no good could ever come of adding a dropped crotch to a pair of pants, and harem pants would disappear from the world, never to be seen again. Or at least, never to be seen until some “edgy” designer decided to try to convince us all that we really DO want to look like we have completely square crotches.

This week, the label in question is Givenchy, who think it’s entirely plausible that people will want to pay $1725 to look like the unfortunate model featured above, who probably thanked her lucky stars that this job didn’t require her to show her face.

What we really want to know, though, is who is wearing all of these harem pants we keep finding ourselves having to arrest. Seriously, this has been going on for YEARS now, and yet we’ve still to see more than a few brave people actually “rocking” the trend in real life. And trust us, there was no actual “rocking” going on in those cases. And yet, if our research is to be believed, SOMEONE must be giving all of these designers reason to believe that their almost-$2000 harem pants will just fly off the shelves. Look!

Sold. Out. At that price. And looking like… that.

Who’s doing this? And how do we stop them?

(Click here if you desperately want to join them.)

Posted on October 4, 2011

Modelling is Hard: Male Model Edition

Poor guy.

No wonder he’s hiding his face, though:

You’d hide your face too if you were being made to wear these:

Adult diaper alert! And it looks like a pretty full one, too..

It’s not any better from the back, by the way:

Sexxxaaaayyy!

(Hands off girls, we seen him first…)

Modelling is hard, people. Won’t someone save these poor models?

[Click here to view or buy the clothes]

Posted on August 16, 2011

Ugly print pants by Ramzu Musa for Browns Focus

Leopard print cropped harem pants – well there are 5 words that should never appear in a sentence together. They’re not even what we would call leopard print, they’re just a garish multicoloured mix with some random black print on them. Apparently those random black marks are trying to pass themselves off as leopard print but the Fashion Police are not taken in by that and we are therefore arresting them for crimes against fashion.

What do you think though? Would you wear these trousers? Would you wear this print on a different garment? If you want to buy this particular example, bail is set at £195 and will be accepted at Browns.

Posted on March 3, 2011

Wear or Die: cropped harem pants edition

Yes readers, this is your chance to dress like a toddler and look like you have a huge, wet nappy on, or die.

Of course you can’t really choose to die, so you must pick one or other of these delightful pairs of cropped harem pants to wear – and no covering them up with a long coat!

So which will you choose – the Alice by Temperley Martha hammered silk trousers on the left (which we misread and thought were accurately named Hammer trousers when we first glanced at them), or the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania marathon jersey trousers on the right? Take your pick and tell us in the comments.

Posted on December 14, 2010

BooHoo sequined split front harem pants make The Fashion Police cry

Just in time for the office Christmas party, BooHoo have released their infamous split-front harem pants in a sequin covered version. It’s all the proof that we need that there is no hope for humanity, but on the plus side, at least the product shot without the model is inexplicably amusing to us:

Continue reading →

Posted on December 9, 2010

Obscene Harems? Savant Hammered Silk Harem Pants

OK, we know it’s a little early on a Monday morning for this, but is it just us, or is this is a particularly unfortunate use of pleating?

Just us? Got it.

(Click here to see more)

Posted on October 25, 2010

Cheap but not chic: Boohoo Millie distressed harem jean

Mom waistband? Check. Saggy crotch? Check. Baggy knees? Check. Elasticated ankles? Check. It’s like a veritable what’s what of fashion crimes in here!

But seriously, folks, can these jeans even be comfortable. I mean, the baggy, diaper-crotch on harem pants is unattractive, yes, but we’re assured that the comfort factor makes up for the aesthetic limitations. Where denim is concerned we’re looking at a far stiffer fabric – more likely, surely to crease into folds and dig in. And the idea of elasticated denim digging in around the ankles? Does NOT appeal ONE BIT!

In their favour, these jeans certainly do not fall into the “daylight robbery” category – at least they have a realistic sense of their own value…

Perhaps you can see the appeal of this interesting addition to the denim collective. If so you can pick them up for the bargain price of £25 at Boohoo.com.

Posted on October 14, 2010

Harem Pants: Now available in leather By Marlene Birger

We thought harem pants were on the way out, but it would appear that they were only gathering strength before springing this on us. Seriously, leather harem pants? Sure, the fabric ones look bad, but at least all of that droopy material between your legs wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But leather. Acres of leather around the crotch just doesn’t sound like it would make for comfortable dressing, and it definitely doesn’t make for attractive dressing, so we have to ask: what’s the point?

Anyone like to hazard a guess? Or do you just want to buy them? If you do, they’re $840 at Shopbop: click here to buy.

Posted on August 31, 2010