This model broke our “Grown Women Shalt Not Dress Like Small Children”rule, so we’ve made her go stand in the corner to think about what she’s done.
We caught her wearing these:
Now, we find dungarees childlike even at the best of times, and unfortunately this incident confirms that not even being buck naked underneath that can make them look any more grown up:
Of course, maybe you don’t WANT to be a grown up. (We don’t really either, to be honest.) Maybe you’d prefer to dress like a toddler long into adulthood and beyond, and if that’s the case then you should click here and buy these for £484. Definitely not child-friendly prices, anyway…
Look at these people, readers. They’re wearing a ONEPIECE. It’s the hot new trend sweeping the nation. Yes, we checked our calendars too, to make sure it wasn’t April the 1st already…
We don’t normally reproduce press releases here, but we’re going to make an exception for this one. This is what the makers of Onepiece have to say about it (our bold, for emphasis):
: Starting in 2007, three hung-over Norwegians (Thomas Adams, Henrik Nøstrud and Knut Gresvig) had the idea to sew together a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants [OMGSTUCKTOGETHERCLOTHES! -FP], connecting the two with a giant zipper to create the ORIGINAL OnePiece. An instant success amongst Norwegians, OnePiece was introduced to the British market to a massive, indescribable frenzy [And yet you just described it. Huh. - FP]- London’s Evening Standard broke the story as, “THE Winter Trend Of 2010,” The Guardian devoted a three-page cover feature on it, Sky News made it a rotating weekend feature and it became the most discussed ‘news item’ on The Daily Mail website[This isn't surprising, actually. The Daily Fail readers get excited about anything - FP.]. With various patterns/colors to choose from (including the standard Nordic snowflake-style motif), made of high-quality, fleecy cotton with a zip that starts at the crotch and goes up to the top, OnePiece is rapidly becoming thenew fashion and lifestyle statement. OnePiece is the perfect chill-out, recovery wear for lazy Sundays, it can also be worn outdoors [Only if you want us to arrest you...FP] for a quick shopping trip/running errands, as well as a suitable and comfy in-flight clothing option (airports have never looked so colorful).
This is the shape of the future, readers. People are absolutely hellbent on trying to convince each other that they’re making a “style statement!” by wearing adult onesies in public. The Cult of the Casual has taken over to such an extent that the appearance of a new ADULT ONESIE on the market can spark a “frenzy”. In other news: there is no God.
Oh, and did we mention they’re $200?
Click here for the Onepiece website. It’ll make you feel like this, apparently:
Ahh, the denim floral pinafore dress. Beloved of tiny tots and early 90s grunge fans in equal measure, and most often paired with Doc Martens and holey tights – by the latter at least. The Fashion Police recall the last time these were fashionable…
It wasn’t a good look then, and we’re no more convinced this time around. This particular Officer remembers quite clearly leaning against the juke box at youth club in a very similar dress, playing and replaying Eternal Flame by The Bangles. See, if that hasn’t put you off we’re probably wasting our breath.
But if you want to cash in on the nostalgia vibe you can do so via Topshop, where this beauty is retailing at £38. Or if you’re very small, nip to your local children’s department for the same look at a fraction of the cost!
The Penguin Booty-Buddy*, from Urban Outfitters: because sometimes you just can’t relax unless you’re dressed like a penguin, don’t you find?
(Also: where was Harry Potter when this was being sold? Because we don’t know about you, but we’re not seeing a “penguin” here so much as a really strange looking wizard. We suspect dark arts are involved.)
There’s not much we can say about the phenomenon that is the “full diaper” look that we haven’t already said, other than that:
1) It’s still going on. How is this possible? Seriously, who’s buying these things and convincing the designers responsible that taking the Dress Like a Toddler trend to the extreme is a good idea? Is it you? Do you know what you’ve unleashed upon the world, if so?
Bet you’re wondering what these two piles of stuffed animals are doing on The Fashion Police, eh? Well, look closer.
These are hats.
They’re for adults.
They’re £89 each.
We’re not sure which of these facts is most surprising to us, so we’ll leave it up to you to decide. Should you wish to take a closer look, or, indeed, to buy one of them, you can click here to do it.
Peluche, or “plush”: it’s that particular kind of fake fur that stuffed animals are made from. And which £300 sweaters are made from, too.
We can’t decide whether this is a great response to a freezing winter, or whether it’s just a great (if expensive) way to dress as a giant teddy for Halloween.
Oh, OK, we can decide. But we want to know what you think too, so what say you to the £300 teddy suit? Tell us!
Feeling wolf-like, readers? Or perhaps you’re just feeling all “quirky” and “zany” and “OMG, kerrazzeee!” and want everyone to know it? Well, you’re in luck, because for just £28, you can buy these faux fur wolf ears from Topshop, and achieve both of those objectives at the same time.
Would you, though?
There’s no doubt that the trend for cutesy, “look, I’m pretending to be an animal!” style accessories has been growing over the past couple of years. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, though? What do you think? And does anyone else think £28 is just a little bit too much for something that looks a lot like part of a Halloween costume?
