cheap monday

90s jeans

Cheap Monday tries to bring back 90s jeans

Cheap Monday describe these as “mega 90s jeans“. Now, it might just be us, but The Fashion Police lived through the 90s, and, indeed, wore jeans for much of that decade, and we don’t remember seeing many people walking around like this. Then again, The Fashion Police have never been edgy or “bang on trend”, so that might be why. And, OK, the high waistband is definitely very 90s. One thing’s for sure: if you weren’t a pear shape at the start of that decade, you would have been one by the end of it: or at least, until you took your jeans off, that is. It’s just… we don’t remember 90s jeans being this unflattering, can you? And if…

Cheap Monday sheer shorts

Crime of Fashion: Cheap Monday ‘Camille’ pool shorts

Oh, dear. If a sheer dress is known as a “shress“, we guess a pair of sheer shorts must be “shhorts”. Or, alternatively, “a hot mess”. These are by Cheap Monday, and are currently on sale for $41 at Alex & Chloe. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with a plausible scenario in which you’d actually wear these in public. We’re not going to hold our breath, though…

Cheap Monday jeans in black and blue

Black and Blue: Cheap Monday jeans for when you just can’t decide

Some days you want to wear black jeans, and some days you want to wear blue jeans. And some days you want to wear black jeans AND blue jeans, and you’re just not willing to choose one over the other. Those are the days you turn to Cheap Monday, and their jeans which are both black AND blue, like a bruise. Or like the 80s, because that’s not so much “blue” as it is “marble wash”. So, basically, you’ll have one leg in 1987, and the other in 2011. Isn’t that the dream? If it’s your dream, click here to view them up close. If it’s NOT your dream, just be grateful we got to them before they could cause…

What’s worse than marble-wash shorts?

Oh, for Gaga’s sake! Marble wash shorts with sheer tights? Really? We’re going to do that? Because we can’t imagine anything worse than that, really. Oh. Right. It’s like that, is it? Those shorts and tights are actually starting to look quite good now, aren’t they? (Click here to buy them)

Cheap Monday narrow low waist skinny jeans

Cheap Monday jeans: For that ‘I forgot to shave my legs’ look

At first glance we thought these were hairy jeans.  On closer inspection we can see that they are, in fact, just innocent victims of the Clothes Ripper.  Fortunately they have a quilted insert to protect the model’s innocence. But our point here is this: if we thought they were hairy jeans, so will other people on the street.  And is that really something you want people thinking when they glance at your jeans?  Is it? If it is, and you feel you need these jeans in your life, you can buy them for $87 here.

Style on Trial: Clear boots by Cheap Monday

OK, everyone, we need you to stop looking at the model’s highly visible nipples, and concentrate on her feet for a minute, because we’re actually here to talk about her boots. (Can we also talk about The Shiny, do you think? Or will that make her even angrier than she is already? Why is she so shiny, though? Are the plastic boots trapping heat and sending it straight to her head? Because it’s not like her sweater is offering much in the way of coverage, is it?) These boots are being described by most commentators as “rain boots”, presumably because they’re plastic, and probably waterproof. Other than that, however, they’re as different from rain boots as it’s possible to be,…

"I went to Cheap Monday and all I got was this lousy dress!"

Holey Clothes! Cheap Monday By Ann Sofie Back Cut Out Sweat Dress

The word “dress” is kinda pushing it when it comes to this item, isn’t it? And, actually, so is the word “clothes”, now we come to think of it, because this looks less like a covering for the body and more like a giant net that Cheap Monday have cunningly talked this model into wearing, in order to try to persuade us all that we want t spend £45 on it. She doesn’t look happy, does she? We don’t blame her, either: she was lucky she was able to work out which holes were for her head and arms! Some people would be less lucky: they’d end up stuck there for hours, frantically trying to disentangle themseves from the cunning…

Cheap Monday’s duct tape bodycon dress: an easy DIY project

Cheap Monday are really loving duct tape this season. First there was that confusing, and potentially embarrassing, mesh top, and now they bring us this duct tape embellished dress, which Shopbop describe as “a cheeky take on the bandage dress”, and which we describe as “what clothes will look like after the apocalypse”. Regardless of how we feel about this dress, though, we can’t help feeling you could easily recreate the look at home, DIY style. All you’ll need is an old dress plus a roll of duct tape et voila, you’ll be “bang on trend” (sorry!). Mind you, given that this isn’t too expensive, at $60, you may well prefer just to let Cheap Monday do the “hard” work…

The Snake cut-out top by Cheap Monday: just one wrong move…

OK, you’d definitely need the ol’ tit tape for this shirt, because as Rock Hyrax pointed out LAST time we arrested Cheap Monday for their attempts to turn us all into flashers, if your breasts weren’t EXACTLY the right size and shape to guarantee they’d remain covered at all times, The Fashion Police would be the least of your worries: it would be the REAL police who’d be after you. Again, we’re hoping this was designed to be worn as a layering piece. We’re just not that hopeful, though. [Product Page]

Cheap Monday’s Duct Tape Top: no need for Nippits!

On the plus side, you’d never have to worry about wearing tit tape with this top, because, well, it comes already attached. On the minus side, however…. actually, it’s basically just ALL a minus side, isn’t it? And OK, we guess you could always wear something underneath it, to make it a little more modest, but as that would defeat the whole purpose of the “Hey, look, I’m wearing nothing but duct tape over my nipples!” nature of this top, we’re not sure it’s what Cheap Monday intended. Like it? It’s $50 at Karmaloop.