Swimwear

Still time to buy the amazing crocheted swimsuit!

Summer may be over, folks, but the fashion world isn’t ready to move on quite yet, and this crocheted swimsuit is currently available at Net-a-Porter, where it’s £190. It’s … really quite something, isn’t it? And we know the “if ya got it, flaunt it!” school of thought is very prevalent amongst the fashion criminal fraternity, when we look at this… … we’re not thinking, “Wow, look at her amazing figure!”* so much as we’re thinking, “Wow, how does she even MOVE in that thing?” And also, “Let’s hope she’s wearing a super high SPF, otherwise she’s going to end up with some serious tan lines in that thing….” Maybe it’s just us (probably), but even if we DID have…

Topshop swimwear

Wanted Wednesday | One-piece swimsuits from Topshop

We’ve talked a lot about swimwear, and one-pieces in particular, lately, but the cute styles just keep on coming, and there’s still plenty of summertime left to wear them in: or we hope so, anyway. This season, we’ve been particularly impressed with Topshop’s offerings in the beachwear department. While many swimwear brands take the retro route when it comes to one-pieces (And hey, no complaints from us there!), they’ve managed to keep their collection a little more contemporary, using interesting prints and streamlined shapes to create suits which are flattering and forgiving to the figure, while still looking very fresh and “young”. Topshop also have a great selection of bikinis on the site at the moment, so if that’s more…

red and white stripe bikini with bow

Beautiful Bikinis | Swimwear Roundup Part 2

Earlier this week we took a look at some of our favourite one-piece swimsuits, so today we’re redressing the balance by focusing on some beautiful bikinis. Although bikinis can be a little daunting if you’re not totally comfortable about bearing all on the beach, they remain a summer classic, and luckily there are enough different shapes and styles to suit just about everyone. Here are some bikinis we’re currently loving the look of… Gallery: Beautiful bikinis

selection of one pieces in three different styles and colours

Wonderful one pieces | swimwear roundup

One pieces from M&S and House of Fraser One pieces used to be considered the frumpy older sisters of the sexier, more stylish bikini, but these days one pieces have come into their own, and are once again starting to be seen as a glamorous alternative to the bikini, rather than the last-ditch option for those who aren’t quite brave enough to bare all. Far from being “frumpy”, one pieces can be hugely flattering on just about any figure. The right one piece will hold you in, create curves even if you don’t have any, and allow you to actually go for a swim without worrying about something falling out of your bikini. Oh, and you won’t have to worry…

scary swimsuits

Scary Swimsuits: Face-print one-piece by Jeremy Scott for Adidas

Scary swimsuits: Jeremy Scott for Adidas (What? You don’t wear your swimsuit with thigh-high boots? Isn’t that how you’re SUPPOSED to wear them? You learn something every day…) Well, at least you’re guaranteed some eyeballs on your boobs, huh? Sorry, we couldn’t resist. Seriously, though: who wants to look like their belly could bite? And on someone with a slightly shorter torso, that mouth would be… yeah. We’ve never been keen on the “my breasts are watching you!” look, but we really think this particular one-piece deserves to be behind bars. If only there was a way to make that happen! Wait! What’s this? Awesome! We’ll just throw this handy “Jail Jacket” over the top of it, like this model’s…

Kelly Brook for New Look

Kelly Brook for New Look bikinis: and a short rant

Kelly Brook for New Look bikini collection We love the Kelly Brook for New Look swimwear collection. Actually, we love MOST of the Kelly Brook for New Look stuff, including the makeup line (which our beauty blog, Hey, Dollface! reviewed a couple of months ago…). Most of our love is reserved from the swimwear, however (and also the lingerie, now we come to think of it. Probably because it’s all pretty similar to the swimwear in terms of shape and general cuteness…), which is cute, fun, and cut in retro-inspired shapes which are that bit easier to wear when you don’t have the confidence for all of those itty-bitty bikinis most other brands like to try to foist on us…

ugly swimsuit

Ugly Swimsuits: The Shark Attack Suit

  Ugly swimsuits: Shark Attack! This definitely isn’t the ugliest swimsuit we’ve ever arrested. No, THIS would be the ugliest swimsuit we’ve ever arrested: Or certainly the strangest anyway, given that Victoria’s Secret were selling it as a “bikini”, and yet… it didn’t actually have a top half. Surely a bikini has to have a top, or it simply becomes “knickers”. Or, in this case, HALTER-NECK KNICKERS. Seriously, three years later, and we’re still not over it. Or, for that matter, this one:   She’s all, “Yeah? SO? You wanna make something of it?” We’re far too scared of her to “make something of it” obviously, so we’ll simply point out that the bow is the only thing standing between…

Black Milk muscles swimsuit

Would you wear… Black Milk’s Muscle Swimsuit?

For those of you who loved Black Milk’s muscles leggings, but who’ve been wondering what on earth to wear with them, wonder no more: here’s the swimsuit version, guaranteed to get you a whole lot of attention at the beach… This somehow seems a little less graphic than the leggings, but we’re just not sure it’d be our swimwear of choice. Well, actually, we ARE sure. It wouldn’t be. What about you, though: would you wear this? [Buy it]

Wonder Woman One-Piece from Topshop

Wonder Woman’s One-Piece, from Topshop

Wonder Woman would approve of this, wouldn’t she? We know it doesn’t have the stars on the pants, and that is, indeed, unfortunate, but even so, if you’re looking for an easy way to look like a superhero on the beach this summer, this would be it. And honestly, we kind of love it. Golden rope and crown not included. Colourblock one-piece, £32, Topshop: click here to buy it.

What Not To Wear to the Beach

Yoox.com describe this as a “beach dress”, and while we’re not really seeing where the “dress” bit comes in, it is made by a company called VDP Beach, which would seem to support the idea that it is, in fact, beachwear, and not, say, some “sexy” clubwear. It comes as a two-piece set, so yes, you ARE supposed to wear the legwarmers with the skirt. To the beach. We were going to assume the high wedges were optional, given that they’re not exactly practical for walking in the sand, but then, legwarmers and a mini skirt aren’t exactly practical for the beach either, so stranger things have happened. Oh, and did we mention the full outfit is £140? WHY would…

What Not to Wear to the Beach: Aubrey O’Day

Earlier today we showed you the dress that is not really a dress. Now we’d like to follow that up with the sad tale of the Bikini That Is Not Really a Bikini. Warning: Although Aubrey O’Day apparently thought this outfit was safe for the beach, it’s possibly not safe for work, so proceed with caution:

Wanted! Retro-style swimsuits at Target

The Fashion Police have long been fans of retro-style swimwear, of the kind shown above: cut low on the hips, with a bit of ruching over the stomach, this shape is super-flattering, and surprisingly sexy – perfect for those of us who don’t really fancy the itsy-witsy, teeny-weeny bikini (yellow polka dot or otherwise). Of course, the drawback with this kind of swimswuit is that they tend to be on the expensive side, which is why we were so pleased to come across Target’s current collection. These suits retail for just $34.99, and are available in a wide range of prints, colours and shapes, with the ones shown above being just a small selection. For those of us outside of…

Abercrombie & Fitch’s push-up bikini for kids causes controversy

Last year it was Primark. This year it’s Abercrombie & Fitch’s turn in the firing line over their push-up padded bikini tops for girls as young as 8 years old. But while Primark backed down and removed their controversial bikinis from sale, Abercrombie & Fitch have defended their range, only agreeing to remove the term “push up” from the title in favour of the less incendiary “striped triangle”, but leaving the padded bikinis on sale. Abercrombie & Fitch have a reputation for risque behaviour – whether provoked by their highly sexualised Back to School ad campaign in 2007 or their 2002 range of tweenage thongs bearing slogans including “wink wink” and “eye candy”, the company are no strangers to public…

Religion Union Jack printed leggings

Union Flag fashion: yay or nay?

That Geri Halliwell.  She has a lot to answer for.  For when she wore that Union Flag (it’s only a Union Jack when it’s at sea, apparently) dress, she spawned a thousand other garments bearing the motif.  Over fifteen years later designers are still producing items such as these leggings. If you want to show your allegiance to the crown at the pool or the beach, Red Carter  are selling this delightful one-piece at Shopbop.  (We have to admit that we are slightly baffled by this as Shopbop isn’t a British site…) Will you be wearing Union Flag fashion to show your patriotism for the Royal Wedding this April?  (Just please don’t style the leggings as pants as ASOS have…

Unsolved Mysteries: Cutaway swimsuits

Swimsuits like this one by Red Carter probably cover just as much flesh – or maybe more – than a bikini would. So why do they always look like they’re verging on the obscene to us? After all, it’s not anything like as bad as this one by Jersey Moda:

Norma Kamali lace bikini

Style On Trial: Swimwear that looks like underwear

So you’re languishing on the beach, and a girl walks past in her underwear.  Only she’s not in her underwear, she’s wearing a bikini by Norma Kamali that looks like underwear, but isn’t. We like the overall style of the bikini – the shape is so lovely and retro and we’d wear this as underwear in a flash.  Or as swimwear were it a solid fabric.  We’re just not sure we can get on board with the lace swimwear. What do you think of this concept (there’s a one piece costume available too)?  Would you wear swimwear that looks like you accidentally wore your lacy undies to the pool?  Or do you prefer your swimwear to look more like, well,…

Wanted! 40s style stripe halter bikini from Topshop

We know bikini season is already a thing of the past here in the Northern hemisphere, but we’ve had our beady eyes on this retro style stripe bikini from Topshop for a few days now, and have noticed that it’s selling out fast online, so we figured it was our duty to inform you of its existence, just in case you have a winter sun break planner or, er, need something to wear in the jacuzzi at the gym. We love the retro shape of this, from the figure-flattering (on some figures, at least) high-waisted bottoms, to the nautical stripes, which are just begging to be worn with bright red lipstick and a pair of cat’s eye sunglasses. If you…

Topshop crochet one piece: A bikini in disguise?

What we have here readers is a ‘one thing pretending to be something else’ crime.  In this case it is a bikini, attempting to pass itself off as a one piece swimming costume.  We’re not fooled though, especially when we see the back view.  Joining the two sections of a bikini together with a little bit of crochet does not a one piece make.  In fact, joining the two sections of the bikini bottoms together with crochet at the sides does not a flattering swimsuit make.  And won’t someone please think of the tan lines! What do you think though?  Do you like this enough to risk the web-like suntan pattern you will surely get from wearing this to the…

retro swimwear Esther Williams Beach Blanket Bingo Polka dot bikini

The Fashion Police’s Ultimate Retro-Inspired Swimwear Roundup

We know we’re not the only ones to have been seduced by the appeal of retro-inspired swimwear over the past few years, so we’ve rounded up just a few our our current favourites for your viewing pleasure. From cherry-print to polka dot one-pieces to bikinis, you’ll find all you need for a retro-style summer in the gallery below – just click on the image for stockist details.