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Archive for the ‘Swimwear’ Category
Thursday, March 18th, 2010
 For the past couple of years, one-piece swimsuits have been making some real waves in the fashion world (Get it? Swimwear, making waves? Never mind…), and this has met with the full approval of The Fashion Police, especially when the one-pieces in question look as good as this striped, strapless number by Rosa Cha. True, strapless swimwear always makes us a little nervous, but this one is super-cute, and when you’re done with the beach/pool, you can throw on some shorts or a skirt and have a cute little summer outfit, too.
The downside? It’s not cheap. Get it for £255 at Net-a-Porter.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
Spring is definitely in the air, with summer right behind it, so it’s time to re-open our Swimwear Section and take a look at some of our favourite swimsuits and bikinis of the season. We’re kicking off with this little red number, which is from the Kelly Brook for New Look range, and will make you look a little bit like the chick from the Special K adverts. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe not…
We’re big fans of the Kelly Brook swimwear line, which tends to be kind to the figure. Having inspected this suit at first hand, we can also confirm that it’s much nicer in real life than it looks in this image. It’s £20, and if you love it, today is a good day to buy it, because New Look are offering free shipping for today only.
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
Why does a swimsuit need a hood?
No, we’re being serious: WHY DOES A SWIMSUIT NEED A HOOD?
Unless you actually ARE Lady Gaga (or, OK, Rihanna), and are planning to wear your swimsuit for non-swimming related activities, WHY DOES IT NEED TO HAVE A HOOD?
We’re opening a new case-file on this item, which can be found at River Island. Your input would be appreciated.
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
 The Topless Bikini Over the past couple of days, The Fashion Police have received a number of reports relating to a certain “topless bikini” being sold by Victoria’s Secret for the sum of $68. Well, we sent a couple of our officers to investigate, and yes, it’s true: you can see the evidence before you.
Now if, like us, one of your first instincts here was to quibble with the description of this, er, garment, as a “bikini”, let us first of all set your mind at rest on that score:
(more…)
Friday, February 5th, 2010
 She could afford the vacation, but not a new swimsuit... Remember all of the clothes with holes we arrested last year?
Well, if you thought this year would bring an end to all that nonsense, we have some bad news for you: the trend is spreading. To swimwear. Yes, you too can look like you just narrowly escaped a shark attack in this slashed one-piece from Victoria’s Secret. No wonder this model looks stunned: can you imagine what the poor girl must’ve been through?
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
Well, you’re not going to be doing a whole lot of swimming in THIS, are you? Which makes us think that either:
a) They’re lying about the “swimsuit” bit and it’s actually just a bodysuit. Which actually brings up problems all of its own, because if you wore it under trousers or a skirt, you wouldn’t actually see the detail on the bottom part. This makes us worry that it’s supposed to be worn Lady Gaga style, with nothing over the top.
b) It IS a swimsuit, but it’s just for posing in. We’ve yet to see a “just for posing in” swimsuit that we didn’t consider a crime of fashion, so this concerns us too.
Either way, we’re not going to be paying £49.99 for it, but if you want to, you can pick it up at River Island.
We'd arrest this model for being an accessory to a crime of fashion, but seriously, would YOU mess with her? She's all, "SO? You wanna make something of this? You wanna comment on my BOW BIKINI? Come on, I dare yas!"
And we're all, "Er, no, no my good woman. You just keep right on standing there and don't move a muscle. No, seriously, we said don't move a muscle. Because unless you've already anchored that thing with some serious tit tape, that's a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen right there."
This criminal was reported to us on Friday afternoon, by Fashion Police reader Katie. Katie, we didn't get much sleep this weekend after seeing this, but thanks for the report, anyway!
(Note: what makes this whole thing worse, is that the bow – which this site describes as a "bikini top" is NOT INCLUDED. And seriously, can you imagine what it would look like wothout it?!)
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
Is it just us, or does this model look she put on two pairs of bikini bottoms by mistake?
Just us? OK, then, you can get this look for yourself (plus the matching top) at Karmaloop. Enjoy!
Is anyone else uncomfortably reminded of Sanna's bikini jeans, here? Or, you know, just plain uncomfortable?
The top half of the bikini is obviously fine: we have no problems with it, so it appears here only as a witness in the Strange Case of the Double Bikini Bottoms. Why do they exist? Because these briefs appear to have been designed to create the appearance that either:
a) you're wearing two pairs of them (WHY?)
or
b) you're wearing knickers underneath your bikini (again: WHY? And even if there was a reason for that, why would you want people to know about it by making the knickers visible?)
We're confused. Can anyone unconfuse us?
[Buy it!]
Well. This is certainly, um, different, isn't it? At a time when so many swimwear designers seem to be obsessed with creating vaguely obscene looking monokinis, Emporio Armani have gone in the other direction, creating a one-piece that will cover quite a lot of you up, while still leaving you with some creative tan lines.
The question: is this a crime of fashion, or is it unique and fabulous?
Personally, we're going to go with "crime of fashion", mostly because we can totally imagine Lady Gaga wearing it, and that's generally a good litmus test, we find. We also don't think it would be particularly practical for the pool or beach, and while we've never been of the opinion that all clothes must be purely practical (a quick glance inside our shoe closet would confirm this) we're also not too keen on clothes designed purely for posing in.
But what do you think? This Emporio Armani swimsuit has been accused of committing crimes of fashion. Should we convict or acquit? You choose…
[Buy It!]
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