Suspect Roundup: Crocs attempts ‘stylish’ footwear

That well-known fashion crime ring Crocs is suddenly very active again for spring 2010 with their new line of “fashionable” options. We’ve locked up the Gretel fall clog, the bow-front summer slide and named them the biggest fashion crime way back in 2008. But this scourge cannot be kept off the streets! Now, Crocs has come up with a new line of rubber footwear masquerading at malls, tourist attractions and otherwise respectable suburban gatherings as real, stylish footwear with names like ballet flat, peep-toe slingback and wedge slingback. They are sure to lure unsuspecting mothers, daughters and sisters into thinking these are appropriate footwear options everywhere from your favorite restaurant to a summer garden party. That is, unless you help us put them away. We’re getting out the cuffs – but only you can make the verdict. Do these styles go down in the pantheon of worst footwear ever, or are they miraculously saved in another “Crocs shoes that don’t completely suck” shocker?

17 Comments

  • May 6, 2010

    Brie

    They still look like old women’s shoes. UGLY.
    .-= Brie´s last blog ..M.I.A. Due To Photoshoots. =-.

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  • May 6, 2010

    Lucia

    They may look better than the original crocs design but this still doesn’t make them pretty nor axceptable.
    why want a peep toe slingback made out of rubber if you can have one made out of fabric that is actually supposed to be used for shoes…

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  • May 6, 2010

    EricB

    Crocs are meant to have a kind of a playful kiddie like shape. These don’t have that. So I say no, thank you.

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  • May 6, 2010

    Jules2209

    These are are just wrong….!

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  • May 6, 2010

    Moni

    The first two shoes remind me of the ones my great-aunts used to wear while working on their farms in the former GDR… water-resistant, easy on and off – but ugly as hell!

    That wedge sandal looks like an orthopedic shoe and is not much prettier than the rest.

    I would not wear any of these, even if I got paid for it!!!

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  • May 6, 2010

    deka

    i thought they would be out of business by now 😛
    .-= deka´s last blog ..tina fey – met gala 2010 =-.

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  • May 6, 2010

    Pippa

    WOAH.
    I was just on the Crocs website.
    Look at this: http://www.crocs.com/crocs-tamilita/11250,default,pd.html?cid=670&cgid=women-footwear&prefn1=lifestyle&prefv1=dressy
    That’s like… like a normal shoe!

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    • May 6, 2010

      Rock Hyrax

      They’ve got even normaller looking ones too. I suspect they know that one day the emperor’s new clothes effect will kick in and all the people who daily assault our eyes will realise they’re wearing ugly rubber shoes and chuck them. And cue the “YOU” range (or whatever it’s called), and the company won’t go under.

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  • May 6, 2010

    Kristin

    When I saw these I threw up in my mouth a little. If anyone were caught wearing these I would wonder where her best friend was when she made this poor purchase decision.

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  • May 6, 2010

    ronny

    crocs should be banned from this world.

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  • May 7, 2010

    Ash

    I’m actually going to purchase some crocs when I get the chance. Not those round pieces of crap you see grown men and women walking around in. Some of their shoes are actually very cute and if they are as comfortable as people say crocs are then I say it’s worth it. Wouldn’t you pay to have a pair of extremely comfortable 4″ heels?

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  • May 7, 2010

    Sarah

    @Ash — No, because Crocs of all kinds make my feet sweat. It’s a gross and dirty bodily fact, but it’s true 😉

    These are cute (well, except the last pair), but just not for me. But I wouldn’t stop anyone else from wearing them.

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  • May 10, 2010

    Jessica W.

    THIS IS A SIN!!!!
    .-= Jessica W.´s last blog ..Owl Philosophy Gets Social with Social Networking! =-.

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  • May 10, 2010

    Carrie

    Can I just mention something? Crocs aren’t that comfy. From wearing their sandals a few times, I’ve noticed that there’s no support so it feels like walking barefoot, my feet slide around because it doesn’t breathe, and my feet are always filthy when I remove them. Compound these problems with the innate flaws of any of these shoes – for instance, lack of support in ballet flats or sliding around in slip-on wedges – and I cannot imagine what it must feel like to walk in these.

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  • May 11, 2010

    Romanticide

    I think the third one almost makes it. almost.

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  • May 19, 2010

    Jen

    Crocs are from Hell. With *one* exception. Easy-on-easy-off-hose-them-off-cleaning, for gardening. Hope-no-one-sees-you-gardening. That’s IT. That said, good for them for the attempt at fashionable looks. The originals are monstrosities, man woman or child.

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  • May 31, 2010

    maddie

    look, it’s crocs for hookers! ‘memeber when you would see whole family’s (except for the teenaged daughter) wearing crocs! those were the times.

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