Neither socks, nor tights, nor leggings, nor legwarmers, these are VPL's Knee Lows Socks.

At various points in The Fashion Police's history, we've shown you pictures of items similar to these, and you've posited lots of theories, and, indeed, excuses, for their existence.

But we still think they look like the kind of surgical garment you'd be given to wear if you strained something in your leg.

And if you could just refresh our memories on the whole "why they cost $55" thing, that would be grand…

Back in the days before leggings became commonplace again, and sock horrors had yet to achieve the sheer level of ugliness they so easily attain these days, came the stirrup tights. Note the phrase "tights" – these aren't leggings you're looking at, they're hosiery. Flesh coloured hosiery. With a stirrup on the bottom.

Presumably designed to allow us to keep our legs respectably covered (perhaps for the office?) while still allowing our feet to breathe,  The Fashion Police were unconvinced that there could ever be a good reason for them to even consider wearing this. And we still are – unconvinced, that is. Are you?

 This guest post was submitted by Deka of That's Hideous!. Deka writes…

I enjoy fun, colorful stockings and leggings as a way to add character to an ensemble. But, who knows what type of fashionista UpFactory had in mind when creating these anatomically-inspired stockings. I have a hard time picturing them being worn outside of a Halloween celebration. If these stockings tickle your fancy, they are available here for 41€.

Deka is the writer of That's Hideous! and lives in San Francisco, California. She brings attention to all things ugly: fashion, handbags, shoes, jewelry, celebrities, politics, furniture, and gadgets.

Would you pay $135 for tights? ANY tights? That would be a "no" from us: not just because your Fashion Police are sadly accident prone, and therefore guaranteed to ladder them the first time we wore them anyway, but also because we just know that Topshop/American Apparel/Urban Outfitters can probably be relied upon to bring out a much cheaper version, saving us around $130.

These particular tights, however, are from Jean Paul Gaultier's pre-fall collection, and they come with a sheer panel to the front and opaque bands to either side. They look like they'd probably be wonderfully slimming on the leg, but we're still not totally on board with them. If you are, they're also available in black, with a fishnet panel to the front, and you can buy them now from Neiman Marcus. (The dress, by the way, is also JPG, and is $495)

What do you think of them?

We know Bebaroque's fringed tights have been wildly popular across the fashion blogosphere. We know that. But if we were forced to wear these thigh-high versions which are flesh-coloured, to help create the impression that the "hair" is growing directly out of your legs, we think we'd have a hard time not reaching for the razor. You?

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A company called Copalife has just launched a new range of “stink-free socks”.

“Well, that’s nice,” we thought. “They’ll probably be handy for the gym and stuff.” Then we read the rest of the press release:

“Copalife plans to make smelly socks a thing of the past by offering socks that can be worn for weeks on end without any smell,”  it says.

Wait… WHY? Why would you even want to wear the same pair of socks for weeks on end? Assuming you’re not, oh, we don’t know, stuck up a mountain, say, or otherwise unable to change you clothes? Some people do, though, apparently, because the Copalife press release continues:

“People have been wearing the same socks for over two weeks and the socks still do not smell. By wearing the socks people have also seen an improvement in Athletes Foot. This is because the Copalife technology is stopping the fungus and bacteria that cause feet to smell and fungus to grow”

Well. That’s great that they don’t smell. It really is. And obviously we’re happy for those people that have seen an improvement in their athlete’s foot problems. And yet, we still can’t understand why they would want to wear the same socks for two weeks without changing? Anyone care to shed some light on this? There’s more information, plus the opportunity to but the stink-free socks for yourselves, at the Copalife website.

We’re not totally sure if these are a genuine Sock Horror or not. To be perfectly honest, we’re not really sure of anything any more when it comes to socks and tights. Fashion seems to have entered some strange Twilight Zone recently, in which absolutely anything goes leg-wise, and the more impractical it is, the better.

Personally, then, we can’t think of a single occasion we’d need these for. They’re a kind of halfway house between knee socks and stirrup leggings, and that really says it all as far as we’re concerned. If this is just the thing you need to make your wardrobe, and perhaps your life, complete, however, they’re $39 at Shopbop.