Skirts

      strange skirts

      Strange Skirts at Shopbop

      Strange skirts at Shopbop. Now try saying that fifteen times, fast. Then come and take a look at these skirts, which are pretty far from the usual run of pencil skirts, midis and A-lines… Karla Spetic ‘Hid Hand’ skirt, $525 It must’ve been a real lightbulb moment when Karla Spetic came up with this design, huh? (Sorry, couldn’t resist…) Moschino denim skirt, $550 If you think this one looks strange enough from the front, you might want to also take a look at the back view.  You might also want to consider never bending down in it – or if you do, make sure you’re wearing your best undies. Jacquemus fringe skirt, $336 When we read the words “fringe skirt”,…

      leather pencil skirt

      Wanted! Balenciaga mint leather pencil skirt

      Time for a little bit of fantasy shopping to kick off this Monday morning. Because if we could just have this Balenciaga leather pencil skirt, we promise we’d never complain about Mondays ever again. Or about anything, really… It’s funny, because for the most part, leather skirts fall into the “love to look at them, don’t love to wear them” category for us. Sure, they look fantastic (or they CAN do, if they’re done right), but it can be hard to get the perfect fit, then you have to worry about them ruching around the hips when you walk, bulging uncomfotably when you try to sit down in them… Of course, most of those issues will be solved if you…

      bucket shaped skirt

      The Story of a Skirt

      So, here’s what we think happened: it was The Clothes Ripper. Yes, AGAIN. This poor model was obviously just walking around, minding her own business, as you do. In a $160 bra. Well, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Maybe everything else was in the wash that day, who knows? Anyway, she’s minding her own business, as we said, when out he pops: THE CLOTHES RIPPER! And he makes off with her trousers/jeans/skirt/whatever she was wearing before this skirt took over. So there she is, poor thing: alone on the street, with just a powder blue bra for cover. What does our quick-thinking model do? She pops into the nearest convenience store, buys herself a cheap plastic bucket, a pair…

      miu miu mini

      The Emperor’s New Miu Miu Mini Skirt

      Well, well… looks like the Empress has been doing some shopping! This is by Miu Miu, it’s £2,295, and if you’re thinking it’s probably somehow less revealling ON than it looks in the photo, well, you’d be wrong: Seriously. Someone needs to explain this to us. (Preferably in a patronising way: we like that…*) We GUESS we could POSSIBLY see it as some kind of fancy swimwear, but … who pays £2,295 for swimwear? And this model is wearing shoes: we don’t think she’s going swimming, somehow. There’s also the option that you’re supposed to wear a slip of some kind underneath it, with the “skirt” becoming a kind of embellished over-layer for your regular clothes. That would make much…

      high-low skirt

      Style Trial | The Mullet Mini Skirt

      ASOS Volume Skater Skirt With Extreme Dip Back, £38 If you thought (or maybe even hoped…) high-low skirts were, like, SO last season, think again. Last week, ASOS released this red, mini version of the mullet skirt, and ever since, we’ve been scratching our heads and wondering why it reminds us so much of a rooster. (Probably the fact that it has a tail, we guess. Should a skirt ever have a tail? That’s what we’re here to find out.) Also available in black, this is a “Mini Mullet”, although, if you want to be totally accurate, it’s really a REVERSE mullet: rather than being business in front, party in back, we think the party is is pretty up-front here,…

      primark-gingham-skirt

      Five Fashion Bloggers Wear Primark’s gingham skirt

      Five Fashion Bloggers Wear Primark’s Gingham Skirt When we featured Primark’s pink gingham circle skirt in our Spring/Summer 2014 preview it went down pretty well with our readers. And also with ourselves: in fact, your Chief of Police managed to track down one of these suspects last week, and can tell you that for a £12 skirt, it’s not bad at all. In fact, if it came in other colours, THEY’D probably be hanging in The Fashion Police closet right alongside it by now. But enough about us: let’s tall about this week’s  Five Featured Fashion Bloggers! The thing we like most about this skirt is that although the print is bold, summery (and very on-trend, too, for those of…

      full-skirts

      Fifteen Full Skirts

      River Island spot print midi skirt, £30; ASOS quilted midi skirt in floral print, £40 Being the observant types you are, we know you can’t have failed to notice that: a) Full skirts are still in fashion, and it doesn’t look like that’s about to change any time soon. We hope not, anyway. b) The Fashion Police are just a little bit obsessed with this look. OK, a BIG bit obsessed. Rather than keep on mentioning 50s-inspired skirts in every second post, then, we figured we’d indulge ourselves with a quick roundup of our favourites, and get it out of our system. There’s a huge amount of this type of skirt available on the high street right now, ranging in shape…

      polka-dot-skirt-outfit1-296x197

      Wanted! River Island navy polka dot pencil skirt

      River Island polka dot pencil skirt, £22 Got £22 and the need to pep up your closet with a little something new? Maybe something with a fun print and an easy-to-wear shape? Well, our officers tracked down this little River Island tube skirt a couple of weeks ago, and we figured it was time to share it with the rest of you: it’s cheap, it’s cheerful, and it’s the kind of skirt you’ll be able to wear in lots of different ways. Our old friends at ASOS, for instance, have gone for a sporty kinda look, with sneakers and a crop top: [see it here] Although we’re not big fans of either sneakers or pattern-mixing (although, if patterns absolutely MUST…

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      Catch of the Day | Topshop blurry check pencil skirt

      The Fashion Police don’t JUST catch criminals. Sometimes our officers also manage to net some awesome fashion items while we’re out patrolling the streets of style, and in this new feature we’ll be highlighting just a few of them for you. Here’s today’s catch: Topshop blurry check pencil skirt, £40 This blurry check pencil skirt caught the attention of our officers as soon as it arrived on the Topshop website. We were initially drawn in by the summery blue gingham check, but, having recently had the opportunity to inspect this in real life, we can confirm that the thick fabric should be warm enough to allow you to press it into service right away – albeit with a little bit…

      tulle-skirts

      Style Trial | tulle ballerina skirts

      Once the sole province of ballerinas and, well, little girls, tulle skirts have been making their presence known in the fashion world lately, which made us think it was high time to put this trend On Trial… Raluca Mihalceanu, $297 Topshop ballerina midi skirt, £50 Coast Cordelia skirt, £135 Beloved by fashion bloggers, the voluminous shape, and fancy net fabric both suggest that these skirts are the type of thing you’d wear to only the most formal of occasions. Not so, though: while the skirts on their own have a very “princessy” feel to them, we’re mostly seeing them being worn with casual pieces to tone down the look. Think sweaters and t-shirts on top, with either plain pumps or boots…

      skirt

      Introducing the Sleeping-Bag Skirt

      Comme des Garcons sleeping bag skirt, £160 Feeling the chill this winter? Feeling, er, a little bit sleepy into the bargain? This Comme des Garcons skirt will solve both of those problems with one, stripey, blow, but you better be quick: having been reduced from the original £319 to the bargain price of £160, there’s now only one of these left, in a size medium. Who’ll be the lucky lady to gets to wear this? If it’s you, please promise to come back and tell us how – and where – you wore it? Buy it here

      skirt

      Fashion Crime Friday | The Emperor’s New Pencil Skirt

      We can only assume the recent dip in temperature has sent our hardened fashion criminals running for cover, because this week we have just one solitary style suspect to confront you with on this Fashion Crime Friday. Given that many of you are probably too busy shopping the Black Friday sales right now to pay much attention to your police duties, that’s probably just as well. Here’s this week’s suspect: contrast pencil skirt, $25 This is available at Shopbop, but is only $25, which is unusually cheap for them. Actually, $25 would be pretty cheap for most brands when it comes to pencil skirts, and this low pricing is possibly your first clue, style sleuths, telling you that all is…

      full-skirt

      How to Wear a Full Skirt

      The current trend for full skirts has The Fashion Police jumping for joy: with their dramatic silhouette and retro-inspired feel, this is one trend we can definitely get behind. Although full skirts have been around for a long time,  however, they can be tricky to wear without feeling like you just stepped out of a 1950s costume drama. Here are our tips on how to wear a full skirt…   Full skirt: ASOS How to Wear a Full Skirt | Choosing your skirt Length Many of the full skirts we’re seeing in stores right now are midi length, for that full-on, retro effect. This can be a great look, if you get it right, but that much fabric,and that much…

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      WANTED! Anthropologie bowtie pencil skirt

      Anthropologie bowtie pencil skirt, £118 We’ve been focusing a lot of full skirts lately (And we’ll have some more of those for you tomorrow, so don’t say we didn’t warn you), so we thought this Anthropologie bowtie pencil skirt might make for a nice change of pace. This is about as sweet as a skirt gets, with the all-over bow print, and the flared hem, which looks like it would fly out nicely if the model were to spin around in it. (We’re surely not the only ones who’d be spinning around within seconds of slipping this on, are we? )It’s fun, flirty, and very playful, and those aren’t words we’re used to using to describe pencil skirts, so that…

      Capture

      Style Stealer | Grey pleated skirts by J.W. Anderson and River Island

      The Fashion Police are basically addicted to buying full skirts at the moment, and the bigger and more dramatic they are, they better. (We’re seriously not joking about the “addicted” part: we may need an intervention…) When we saw this full, pleated J.W. Anderson midi skirt at Shopbop, then, we knew we loved it. And when we saw it a few days later, on one of our favourite fashion bloggers, Atlantic Pacific, we knew we loved it even more. Well, there’s nothing like a big skirt to set Fashion Police hearts a-fluttering, and while grey isn’t generally a colour we lust over (Bad memories of too many grey school skirts), the fact that it’s just as versatile as black but…

      gold-skater-skirt

      River Island gold embroidered skater skirts

      River Island skirts River Island have been doing a great line in skater skirts this season. We featured some of their scuba skirts in our neoprene roundup last week, but it’s this gold textured number that really has our fingers hovering over the “buy now” button. The basic shape of these skirts is, as we’ve mentioned numerous times now, an all-time favourite of ours, being one of those easy-to-wear shapes which you can dress up, dress down, dress any way you want, basically. We wouldn’t go so far as to say it will work for everyone (We don’t think there are many items of clothing THAT good), but River Island have certainly done their bit to make this skirt work…

      Wanted Wednesday | Anthropologie Emeline Tulle Skirt

      Anthopologie isn’t a brand we feature nearly often enough here on TFP. It’s not that we don’t like it: far from it, in fact. But as much as we love some of Anthropologie’s products, we often find them just a little bit overpriced, and so, rather than taunt ourselves with things we can’t actually afford, we have a bad habit of ignoring it altogether. We’re making an exception for the Emeline skirt, though: Anrthropologie ‘Emeline’ tulle skirt, £128 Now, this is tulle. It’s cream. And even although full skirts are very much in fashion this year, it’s definitely not the kind of thing that you’d  find yourself wearing every day, or even every week. Well, not unless you were Carrie…

      full skirts fashion trend

      Full skirts for Fall 2013

      Full skirts: The Fashion Police love ’em, as you can probably tell from many of our outfit picks. When we heard that they’d be making a “comeback” for Fall 2013, then, our first reaction was, “Comeback? Why, where have they been?” and our second was simply, “Oh, who cares: bring it on!” Yes, full skirts are officially back in fashion: so naturally, we want to know what you make of looks like this: Full skirts for Fall 2013: Net-a-Porter Full skirts, of course, have been around for a very long time, and while they’re most often associated with the 1950s, the concept is much older than that. It’s that 50s silhouette which the looks above are making reference to, however:…

      skirt with cut-out sections

      Cut Out Skirt Crimes: Murmur Neoprene Cut-Out Skirt

      We only have one crime of fashion for you this week, but we think you’ll agree, it’s a doozy: Neoprene skirt, £412 This isn’t the first time we’ve seen this kind of crime, and we’re sure it won’t be the last time. What we want to know is where you’d want to wear it, and what with. We normally see pencil skirts, as fairly formal, office-type attire, you see, but we can’t think of many offices where a skirt with suspenders wouldn’t get you dragged in for a little chat about the dress code, so perhaps the full body shot will give us some clues to this one: Well, that certainly answers the “what would you wear with it” question,…

      J crew denim mini skirt

      Denim Skirts: Crime or Classic?

      Last week we addressed the thorny issue of double denim, and whether or not its wearing constitutes a crime of fashion. (Verdict: the jury was divided in the comments section, but our Facebook officers delivered a resounding “GUILTY” verdict.) This week, we turn our attention to another denim-related matter: denim skirts: Denim skirts: Zara Denim skirts are making a comeback this season, and we’d imagine those words will get one of two possible reactions from most of you: either… a) How can denim skirts be making a “comeback”? They’ve never gone anywhere! or b) How can denim skirts be “back” in fashion, when they were never actually IN fashion to start with? Yes, officers, this is one of those items…

      save or splurge: stripe pencil skirts

      Save or Splurge: Stripe pencil skirts

      We first reported on the bold stripes trend a few months ago, and now that it’s in full swing, and we’ve been seeing in black and white for the past few weeks, we’ve noticed that one particular item has started to emerge as the leader of this particular look. We refer, of course, to the stripe pencil skirt. Now, there’s no shortage of these skirts to choose from right now, and we’ll get to that in a minute. First of all we need to answer the pressing question: if you were in the market for a stripe pencil skirt, would you save or splurge? Splurge: Robert Rodriguez, £174 | Save: Oasis, £40 Possible Saving: £134 In this particular case, you…

      The ugliest skirts in the world

      The Ugliest Skirts of 2012

      While skirts aren’t quite as prone to taking a beating from the ol’ ugly stick as their sisters, dresses, are, there are still some designers out there who struggle to make this most simple of items without making it see-through, indecently short, or giving it a drop-crotch. It shouldn’t even be possible to give a skirt a crotch, should it? Trust us, though: it is. In fact, there are all kinds of ways to make a skirt ugly: here are just a few of them… (For the original arrest reports on these items, go here)

      Miss Selfridge tapesty print skatet skirt

      High Street Shopping Pick of the Day: Miss Selfridge tapestry print skatet skirt

      Miss Selfridge tapestry print skatet skirt, £35 For today’s High Street Shopping Pick, we don’t just bring you something pretty to look at: we also bring you a whole new word to learn, for this, you see, is not a “skater skirt”, but a “skatet” skirt. We’re going to assume that refers to an ickle tiny wee version of a skater skirt, but it could also simply be a typo on the Miss Selfridge website. We may never know. What we do know, however, is that we rather like this. Tapestry print can look a little old fashioned on the wrong item, but the short hem and lantern shape keeps this modern, and it’ll look good with opaque tights now,…

      how short is too short

      When is a mini skirt not a mini skirt?

      When is a mini skirt not a mini skirt? When it’s just a flimsy scrap of fabric, slung loosely around the hips, of course. In fact, in that case, it’s not even a SKIRT. Or an item of clothing for that matter. It is, however, most definitely a crime of fashion. And Rick Owens is a criminal mastermind, for his ability to persuade people to pay £155 to go out without their clothes on. [Click here to buy it]

      mullet skirts

      Style Trial: Mullet Skirts

      [Skirts: GoJane] It’s no use: we’ve been hoping that if we just ignored them for long enough, mullet skirts (or high-low skirts, if you prefer) would quietly slink off back to wherever they came from. Here we are, though, well into summer 2012, and the skirts that are party in the front and… well, party in the back, too, actually… still seem to have a stranglehold on fashion. We can’t remember the last time we looked at a street style blog or fashion editorial that didn’t feature at least one wispy mullet skirt wafting artfully in the breeze, most often worn with some kind of clunky shoe-boot, and a crop-top of some kind. So we’re putting them On Trial. Well,…

      Men in skirts

      Men in Skirts: Rick Owens mens drawstring skirt

      We’ve long been of the opinion that as women are able to wear pretty much whatever they like, we can see no reason whatsoever why men shouldn’t be able to do the same, and slip into a skirt or dress every now and then, if they feel the need. The “male skirt”, however, is a look that’s never really made it into the mainstream, so we were interested to see this one as part of Rick Owens’ current menswear collection. Regardless of which gender wears it, we tend to think it’s a pretty ugly skirt, if we’re perfectly honest. What about you, though: can you see you/your guy rocking this? Think it’s a look that’ll catch on? And would you…

      model in ripped pink skirt

      Crime of Fashion? Elliot Atkinson layered ruffle pirate skirt

      Those pesky kids! They’ve gone and TP’d a model again! That SO wasn’t in her contract, you guys… This wispy pink skirt is by Elliot Atkinson, and if we were being tactful, we would say that it’s feminine and etheral: you know, the kind of thing a woodland nymph, say, might wear. If we were just being honest, though, we’d say it looks a bit like one of those awful moments when you walk out of the bathroom and stride across the restaurant, totally oblivious to the fact that you’re trailing half a roll of toilet paper after you. Some people pay to look like that, folks. They pay $665 for it. We’re not joking. Which side are you on: woodland…

      skirt cardigan

      Skirt… or cardigan? You choose!

      Is it a skirt? Or is it a cardigan? It’s both! One minute it’s a really ugly skirt: But the next minute? It’s a cardigan! Isn’t that… clever? At first, we thought this garment was only a skirt/cardigan (a “skirtigan”?) hybrid in the same way that ANY cardigan tied around the waist could be described as such. Upon closer inspection, however, we see the “belt” around the neckline and the “skirt” at the hem, which makes this the ingenious and versatile item it is, and totes justifies the $900 price tag, don’t you think? Want it? Then buy it!  

      Anthony Vaccarello skirt

      The Thigh’s Not the Limit

      “Um, miss? So sorry to have to tell you this, but you seem to have tucked your skirt into your knickers by mistake: how embarrassing!” There is a point where “sexy” becomes “just plain uncomfortable/awkward looking”. We’d argue that this skirt has reached that point. If you disagree, however, and you have a spare  £542 burning a hole in your pocket, you can click here to buy it from Louisa Via Roma,

      chiffon maxi skirt

      Crime of Fashion? Brose ‘Jill’ chiffon maxi skirt

      SUSPECT: Brose ‘Jill’ chiffon maxi skirt, $495 SPOTTED: Shopbop ACCUSED OF: Making its wearer look like a giant stuffed animal At first we thought this was a “plush” fabric. You know, like a teddy bear? In a skirt? But it’s not. No, it’s chiffon. Chiffon: that wonderful, floaty, feminine fabric. That still looks like a teddy bear in a skirt in this case: or it does to us, anyway. How does it look to you, though? Are you digging teddy bear chic this summer? [Click here to buy it]

      Marc Jacobs ruffled plastic skirt

      Plastic Fantastic? Marc Jacobs ruffled plastic skirt?

      Some might say that a £550 plastic skirt is always going to be a Crime of Fashion, regardless of what it actually looks like. Others might say that, why, this skirt is “avant-garde” (Yes, Net-a-Porter, we ARE looking at you) and therefor totes fashion-forward and automatically awesome. Plus, it was on the Marc Jacobs RUNWAY, and he is a DESIGNER, and DESIGNER fashion can NEVER BE WRONG BECAUSE IT IS OMGART. (Fashion victims, we’re looking at you now…) We, meanwhile, just say that, you know, at least Scarlett O’Hara had a decent pair of curtains to make her dress out of. Today’s women, they have to cobble together a skirt out of a collection of old rubbish bags. So sad!…

      rick owens mini skirt fashion crime

      Crime of Fashion: Rick Owens “mini” skirt

      When Rick Owens makes a skirt, it’s not like when other people make a skirt. And thank Science for that. (Seriously, coffee and doughnuts to the first person who can give us a plausible reason why they’d want to a) wear this and b) pay £610 for it. And no, “costume party” doesn’t count.) [Product Page]

      phillp lim skirt

      Stuck-Together-Clothes Crimes: Phillip Lim Sweatshirt Skirt with Waist Tie

      Sometimes, tying a sweater around your waist – or hips, even – can look cute, in a casual kinda way. And it can be practical, too, because it’s a completely hands-free way to carry a spare sweater for when it gets cold – yay! It’s not QUITE as practical when the sweater is actually ATTACHED to the skirt, though, as in this Phillip Lim creation, is it? Not in the least bit practical, actually. You’re not going to be wearing that sweater, sister, no matter how cold the weather gets. Not unless you’re prepared to remove your skirt in the process, anyway. The sweater, then, has completely failed to fulfil its purpose in life: being a sweater. It therefore goes straight to…

      Zara asymmetric skirts

      Style on Trial: Asymmetric skirts at Zara

      Asymmetry in fashion has been around for as long as… well, for as long as symmetry has, basically. For the past year or so, however, we’ve been seeing a whole lot more of it than usual, and the epicentre of the asymmetric universe can be found at Zara, where it’s currently difficult to find a skirt that DOESN’T have one side longer than the other. What do you think of these wonky-hemmed wonders, Fashion Police jurors? Zara have created a whole collection of them for you, as you can see from the gallery below, and if you like the asymmetric look, you’ll have plenty to choose for. Some of the skirts have the longer section at the front, for instance,…

      black pencil skirt

      Fashion Crime in Progress: Adam Andrascik torn skirt

      Look, everyone! Here’s a boring black pencil skirt, suitable for a day at the office, and which… EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Can all Fashion Police units report to Selfridges, where we’re getting reports of a vicious and unprovoked attack on an innocent skirt! We repeat, this is an emergency! Adam Andrascick is our chief suspect in this case, and readers, if you see him, please, DO NOT ALLOW HIM NEAR YOUR CLOTHES: he may be armed, and he’s definitely dangerous… (Click here for the product page) Thanks to Officer Paven for the report!

      pannier skirt

      Do our hips look big in this? The pannier skirt makes a comeback

      Good news for those of you who’ve secretly always wanted to live in the 18th century (and seriously, WHO DOESN’T?): the huge-hipped look can now be yours, thanks to this pannier skirt by Meadham Kirchoff. Yes, it’s huge. Yes, it looks like antique underwear. Yes, it’s £1,020. Yes, doorways may be a problem. And your hips WILL look big, we’re not gonna lie. So, basically, we have an item which is expensive, ridiculous and totally impractical: isn’t that what fashion’s all about? [Product page]

      Red midaxi skirt from ASOS

      Meet the Midaxi: the new hem length in town

      Today, readers, we add a new word to the Fashion Police glossary: meet the “midaxi” skirt! A new word it may be, but this isn’t exactly a new idea: skirts this length would’ve been pretty commonplace during the early part of the 20th century (and at various times since), and as the name suggests, this is a hem length which falls somewhere between a midi and a maxi. Hence “midaxi”. Clever, huh? We think we can probably predict what you’re going to have to say about this. ASOS, bless them, have done their best to make the midaxi look appealing, by making it in a bright red colour, and giving the model some skyscraper heels and a dinky little clutch bag:…

      fitting room review

      Secret Police: Vanity-sizing at La Redoute

      The Fashion Police’s undercover officers are infiltrating fashion retailers around the country in order to bring you honest, unbiased reviews of the clothing and footwear they find there. Today, they visit Le Redoute to investigate a bright green mini skirt… Officer: The officer’s identity has been concealed in order not to blow his cover. We can, however, reveal that our officer is 6ft tall, with a waist size of 34″-36″, and is a MAN. Note: THIS IS NOT YOUR CHIEF OF POLICE!) Item: Green A-line skirt, £15, La Redoute Sizing: Where do we start? This skirt is a UK size 6, which, in my experience (this is the Chief of Police speaking, by the way, although, once again, I feel…

      Half Skirt

      Strange Skirts: Aqua jumps on the bandwagon

      Aqua are becoming serial offenders in the real of Strange Skirts: and Strange Other Items, too, to be perfectly honest. We think they’ve outdone themselves with this Half Maxi/Half Mini, though. Come on, Aqua, make your minds up! Surely no one is THIS indecisive? Look, even the model is starting to get all huffy: Not content with a skirt that will leave one leg out in the cold, however, Aqua continued the strangeness with this Shirt-With-a-Tail: They call it a “dress”. We call it “what a Fashion Criminal Superhero would wear, if there actually were Fashion Criminal Superheroes. Which there isn’t: there are only villains in the world of Fashion Criminals.” And just to prove that we’re not totally biased against dresses…

      Dogtooth print pencil skirt

      Top Ten: Pencil Skirts

      Ah, the humble pencil skirt! It’s a true fashion classic, and we’re very glad about that, because the pencil skirt is a Fashion Police favourite, which adds a touch of sophistication to just about any outfit. We’re particularly glad to see so many of them around this winter: it would be wrong to call the current range of pencil skirts a “trend”, because it’s a look that never really gets old, but if it’s a look that you love, you’ve no doubt been finding it a whole lot easier to create it recently, thanks to the many pencil skirts, in every conceivable colour and print, which have been flooding the high street. (Special credit here to Topshop and River Island…

      Two tone skirts by Zara and Dries Van Noten

      Designer Vs High Street: Two-tone skirts by Dries Van Noten and Zara

      Good old Zara! The Spanish chain comes to the rescue once again, helping us save £478, were we in the market for a two-toned skirt with white panels at the front and black ones at the side. If we WERE looking for such a thing, we could buy it from Dries Van Noten. It would cost us £504, though, so we have to admit, we’d be much more likely to head to Zara, spend £25.99 and still have enough left for a top and shoes to wear with it, and maybe some lunch while we were out. The Zara skirt is currently sold out on the website, but can be found on eBay (where you can probably expect to pay…

      zara-feathered-mini-skirts

      Style on Trial: Feathered mini skirts from Zara

      Something we’ve noticed in our years of Fashion Policing, is that most people love feathered mini skirts. Witness: (Feathered skirts, £79.99: click here to buy them) You’re already poised to tell us how much you adore these, aren’t you? So today, we’re asking you to explain the appeal. Because while many of our readers think feathered skirts are the cat’s pyjamas, we, on the other hand, tend to think they’re almost as comical as cat’s pyjamas. Seriously, you’re seeing fun, “edgy” fashion here, but we’re just seeing the skinned hydes of Elmo and Grover: Fashion Icons, 2011 We’re also seeing the glimmerings of a Halloween costume idea, but we don’t want to pay £80 for the privilege, which is what one…

      marc-jacobs-patent-pencil-skirt

      Easy Fashion DIY: Marc Jacobs patent pencil skirt

      Want to get this high-fashion look on a budget? Easy! 1. Take one bin bag/refuse sack/whatever you like to call them. You know, one of these: 2. Fold it in half, wrap it around your waist and secure with tape. Or something. 3. You’re done! You are now the proud owner of the kind of skirt Marc Jacobs would hawk for £580! (Note: the Marc Jacobs skirt isn’t actually made out of a bin bag. It just looks like it is.) Can’t be bothered going to all that trouble? Just click here to buy it, then.

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      Save or Splurge? Red skater skirts by Preen and River Island

      Behold the red skater skirt! Not exactly a hot trend item – well, you know, it’s a red skirt: they’ve been around forever, and they’ll probably be around forever more. There are a few more of them around than usual this summer, though, probably because of the whole 50s vibe that’s going on in fashion right now, and which has seen the swirly skirt rise to prominence once more, whether attached to dresses, or on its own. Skirts like these are available in lots of different colours at the moment. We particularly like them in red, though, because they have a very classic feel that’s just begging to be work with something like a striped sweater or knotted white shirt,…

      half skirt

      Heroes in a Half Skirt: Andrea Crews provides the worst of both worlds

      Heart telling you to jump aboard the midi-skirt bandwagon, but head telling you to stick to the minis you know and love? Don’t worry, there IS a middle ground: a place where midi and mini meet, mate and live happily ever after. Or possibly not. That middle ground is occupied by Andrea Crews, who has set up camp there, and is busy producing her half midi/half maxi creations, which mix fabrics, as well as lengths. If you think the example at the top of the page is bad, though, just wait until you get a look at THIS bad boy: Oh HELL NO. Denim and lace should NEVER collide, should they? It’s like a really bad day down at Dollywood….

      wardrobe malfunction

      Whoops! Sacai’s $1,100 “accident” skirt

      Did anyone else look at this image and think someone had thrown up all over this skirt? Or spilt something down it at least? It’s actually embroidery, of course, but that side-tie doesn’t really help, does it? In fact, it makes it look like an apron. An apron someone has thrown up on. You really don’t see it? Maybe we need more coffee. Or less coffee. Or to live in a world where people don’t pay over $1,000 to look like they’re wearing a soiled apron. One of those should work. (Click here to buy it)

      skirt harem pants

      Skirt meets harem pant, courtesy of Rick Owens

      It takes a special kind of skill to make a skirt look worse than a pair of harem pants. Rick Owens has that special kind of skill. Rick, we name you the Fashion Frankenstein. But what shall we call the Monster? What DO you call a cross between a skirt and harem pants? Skarem pants? We think so. And what would you charge for a skarem pant, we wonder? Oh, probably about £219, don’t you think?  If that sounds reasonable to you, click here to buy this.

      Rick Owens asymmetric skort

      The reverse mullet skirt: Rick Owens’ asymmetric skort

      At first glance we thought this was just a skirt: but look closer.  There is, in fact, a pair of shorts peeking out from under the front hemline.: From the back it does indeed look like just a skirt, creating some sort of reverse mullet skirt which is surely a crime of fashion in itself?  But these are the short version of those skirts-attached-to-trousers that were so popular in the late 1990s.  And that can’t possibly be a good thing.  Can it?  Tell us below, and if you want to buy this item, it is $950 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

      blue-midi-skirts

      Save or Splurge? Bright blue midi skirts by Rachel Roy and ASOS

      As we’ve observed a couple of times now, the midi skirt is back with a vengeance right now. We’ve been admiring Rachel Roy’s blue swing skirt for a while, but at $425, we felt duty bound to seek out a slightly more wallet-friendly version. Luckily our old friends ASOS came to the rescue with this swishy blue number (which isn’t really “midi” on the model, but would be on some of the rest of us), which comes in at a rather more affordable $62. Now, the differences between the two speak for themselves here: the designer skirt is a luxe-looking silk twill, while the ASOS version is a linen/lyocell mix. The shapes and colours, of course, are similar, but how much…

      Sonia-Rykiel-Feather-embellished-mesh-skirt

      Hips Don’t Lie: Sonia Rykiel Feather-embellished mesh skirt

      The good news is that this skirt is designed to be worn over the top of another skirt (if The Outnet’s stylist is to be believed, anyway), so you won’t be required to display your knickers in a feathery pom-pom frame. That’s the good news. The bad news is that nothing about this makes up for the fact that you WILL still have two feathered pom-poms attached to your hips. And you’ll have paid £237 (which is at least better than the original £790) to do it. If you want to press ahead with that look, however, you can click here to do it.

      Diane von Furstenberg Ceasar skirt-romper

      When is a skirt also a romper?

      No, that post title isn’t the opening line of some lame joke, but the answer can be found in the garment we present here.  When we first spied this skirt we thought it was a bit, well, odd, with its open sides and mini skirt underlay.  But then we looked again and realised that this skirt?  Is actually a romper too!  Behold: And there you have it.  The magically transforming skirt/romper.  And for skirt/romper read: crime of fashion. If you want the ability to convert your skirt into a romper at any given opportunity, you can buy this Diane von Furstenberg number for $265 at Shopbop.  All we ask though is that you put something underneath it as the top…

      Christopher Kane laser-cut leather pleated skirt

      Christopher Kane’s ‘eye popping’ skirt

      Net-a-Porter call this an “eye popping take on a ladylike design”.  Well it’s certainly that alright, but we’re not sure we want our eyes popped quite that much.  If you feel like you need sunglasses to look at your skirt, that’s probably a sign that it’s a bit too bright folks. This is made of pleated leather, and the lace design has been laser cut which we suppose goes some way to justifying the £1,610 price tag.  But where would you wear a neon yellow pencil skirt?   If you have any ideas where to wear it, we’d love to know and you can buy it here.

      Starstyling holograph leggings

      Style on Trial: Culottes

      Culottes were very popular in the early 1990s and they seem to be having something of a resurgence this spring. Naturally, then, we’re interested to discover what you think of them.  Are they just the next step from a wide leg trouser?  Are they a practical alternative to a skirt?  Would you wear them? The pair above are £38 from Topshop, but they are popping up all over the high street this season.

      ASOS balloon shape jersey maxi skirt

      ASOS balloon shaped skirt: model hides her face in shame

      Is this the most unflattering skirt you’ve ever seen?  What about now, fully ‘inflated’? The poor model has resorted to hiding behind her oversize sunglasses in a bid to hide her identity.  And don’t even get us started on the sandals the poor girls has been forced to wear with the skirt. Perhaps the only redeeming feature about this is the price.  It’s just £30 so the fashion victims out there can wear it once, be ridiculed by their friends, and not worry about the cost when they never wear it again.  Although, as they’re fashion victims, they won’t care about the cost. What do you think though?  Is this a must have for spring or is it as ridiculous…

      50s housewife skirt

      Look like a domestic goddess, with Tsumori Chisato

      The “fifties housewife” look is the height of fashion right now, readers, and what better way to get the look than with this Tsumori Chisato skirt, which comes complete with a pair of oven gloves hanging from the waistband! At least, we think they’re oven gloves. They could also be floral ovaries, although obviously that would be even stranger. This is £194 – click here to buy it.

      Rag and Bone Pelham skirt

      Rag and Bone live up to their name

      We saw this skirt and do you know what it reminded us of?  One of those rag rugs – you know, where rags of fabric are woven together to create a rug?  Well this could very well be the skirt version of that.  Thank goodness for that lining is all we can say.  We’re sure the model agrees. So would you wear a rag rug skirt?  Where would you wear it?  And would you pay $725 for the privilege?  If you would, it’s by Rag and Bone and you can buy it at Shopbop.

      Kaufmanfranco brushed suede utility skirt

      Kaufmanfranco suede skirt: now with added bag

      Is everyone else seeing a bag stuck to the front of this skirt?  Net-a-Porter are trying to pass it off as an ‘oversize pocket’ but you’re not fooled, are you readers?  Neither are the Fashion Police. We suppose it could be useful for carrying a few necessities around, but do you really want to wear a skirt with a bum bag (fanny pack) attached to it?  And would you pay £1,455 for the privilege?  If you would, then you can buy it here.