| | Category Archives: SkirtsCrime of Fashion? Brose ‘Jill’ chiffon maxi skirt | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Some might say that a £550 plastic skirt is always going to be a Crime of Fashion, regardless of what it actually looks like.
Others might say that, why, this skirt is “avant-garde” (Yes, Net-a-Porter, we ARE looking at you) and therefor totes fashion-forward and automatically awesome. Plus, it was on the Marc Jacobs RUNWAY, and he is a DESIGNER, and DESIGNER fashion can NEVER BE WRONG BECAUSE IT IS OMGART. (Fashion victims, we’re looking at you now…)
We, meanwhile, just say that, you know, at least Scarlett O’Hara had a decent pair of curtains to make her dress out of. Today’s women, they have to cobble together a skirt out of a collection of old rubbish bags. So sad!
What do YOU think, though, Fashion Police jurors? Fantastic, or… just plastic?
[Buy it here]
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When Rick Owens makes a skirt, it’s not like when other people make a skirt.
And thank Science for that.
(Seriously, coffee and doughnuts to the first person who can give us a plausible reason why they’d want to a) wear this and b) pay £610 for it. And no, “costume party” doesn’t count.)
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Sometimes, tying a sweater around your waist – or hips, even – can look cute, in a casual kinda way. And it can be practical, too, because it’s a completely hands-free way to carry a spare sweater for when it gets cold – yay!
It’s not QUITE as practical when the sweater is actually ATTACHED to the skirt, though, as in this Phillip Lim creation, is it? Not in the least bit practical, actually. You’re not going to be wearing that sweater, sister, no matter how cold the weather gets. Not unless you’re prepared to remove your skirt in the process, anyway.
The sweater, then, has completely failed to fulfil its purpose in life: being a sweater. It therefore goes straight to Fashion Police jail. And the skirt will have to go with it: you know, on account of them being literally “joined at the hip”…
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Asymmetry in fashion has been around for as long as… well, for as long as symmetry has, basically. For the past year or so, however, we’ve been seeing a whole lot more of it than usual, and the epicentre of the asymmetric universe can be found at Zara, where it’s currently difficult to find a skirt that DOESN’T have one side longer than the other.
What do you think of these wonky-hemmed wonders, Fashion Police jurors? Zara have created a whole collection of them for you, as you can see from the gallery below, and if you like the asymmetric look, you’ll have plenty to choose for. Some of the skirts have the longer section at the front, for instance, while others have it at the side. Some are pleated, some are plain. Some are green, some are black. This much is evident from a quick glance at the photos. What we need YOU to do, however, is to take this a step further and categorise these as either “ugly” or “not “ugly”, “guilty” or “innocent”.
What do you think of the asymmetric look?
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Look, everyone! Here’s a boring black pencil skirt, suitable for a day at the office, and which…
EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Can all Fashion Police units report to Selfridges, where we’re getting reports of a vicious and unprovoked attack on an innocent skirt! We repeat, this is an emergency!
Adam Andrascick is our chief suspect in this case, and readers, if you see him, please, DO NOT ALLOW HIM NEAR YOUR CLOTHES: he may be armed, and he’s definitely dangerous…
(Click here for the product page)
Thanks to Officer Paven for the report!
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Good news for those of you who’ve secretly always wanted to live in the 18th century (and seriously, WHO DOESN’T?): the huge-hipped look can now be yours, thanks to this pannier skirt by Meadham Kirchoff.
Yes, it’s huge. Yes, it looks like antique underwear. Yes, it’s £1,020. Yes, doorways may be a problem. And your hips WILL look big, we’re not gonna lie. So, basically, we have an item which is expensive, ridiculous and totally impractical: isn’t that what fashion’s all about?
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Today, readers, we add a new word to the Fashion Police glossary: meet the “midaxi” skirt!
A new word it may be, but this isn’t exactly a new idea: skirts this length would’ve been pretty commonplace during the early part of the 20th century (and at various times since), and as the name suggests, this is a hem length which falls somewhere between a midi and a maxi. Hence “midaxi”. Clever, huh?
We think we can probably predict what you’re going to have to say about this. ASOS, bless them, have done their best to make the midaxi look appealing, by making it in a bright red colour, and giving the model some skyscraper heels and a dinky little clutch bag:
Even so, this is a REALLY difficult length to wear without looking frumpy. Like it’s younger sister, the midi skirt, this skirt is going to have magic “stumpifying” properties for some of us, drawing a line right across the widest part of the calf, and if you hated the midi, you’ll probably hate the midaxi, too. Lacking the drama of the maxi skirt or the elegance of the midi, it can just hang there, all sad and droopy, just begging to have a large swathe of material chopped off the bottom.
It’s a lot more matronly and old-fashioned (as opposed to charmingly retro) than most shoppers are used to at the moment, so we’re wondering what you’re going to make of it. Will you rush to embrace the midaxi, pleased to have an alternative to the various other options available in the world of hemlines? Or do you think this one is best avoided?
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