Skirting the Issue: When Skirts Go Sheer

Comme des Garcons

We were going to use a couple of these skirts as a Wear or Die, but then we thought twice, for surely to Gaga, everyone reading this would choose death over one of these skirts? Surely? Or is that just wishful thinking on our part?

If you wish, then, you can feel free to tell us which of the items on this page you’d wear, assuming that you had to wear one or die. Or you can just sit back, relax, and marvel at the fact that fashion designers actually think we’d be likely to pay hundreds of pounds for petticoats

Comme des Garcons: repeat offence

See, this is a petticoat, isn’t it? HAS to be. No would would wear it as it’s shown on the model, with nothing but a white bodysuit underneath it. And yet, the £195 original price somehow begs to differ on the “petticoat” assessment. WHY?

Angeloz Frentzos

This now: this is MUCH classier. Because flashing ALL of your kickers would just be trashy, you know? Flashing just one half of them, on the other hand? That’s just fine.

(It’s cut on the opposite diagonal at the back, by the way, so you get to feel the breeze on both halves of your nether regions.)

Cunning!

Wait, though! What’s this?

Maria Calderara

Why, it’s an illusion skirt! We can’t believe this is actually catching on! (No, actually we can. Any time we think we can’t believe something is being worn, we remind ourselves of the popularity of Crocs. There’s nowt as strange as folk, is there?)

Comme des Fashion Criminals

Now we know this one isn’t a petticoat, because it has pockets. And we know it has pockets because we can see the insides of them through the sheer fabric of the skirt. Isn’t that… nice?

Jean Paul Gaultier

This one was so bad they couldn’t even find a model willing to wear it. We can’t say we’re surprised: it looks like something the Flintstones might have worn during that one season in the stone age when lace was all the rage. If you kind of half close your eyes, it even looks like those cut-outs are shaped like clubs, and bones and stuff. Clever.

Voyage (to the Fashion Police jail)

There’s so much to say about this one that we don’t even think it needs to BE said. If only it could be un-seen so easily!

And there you have it. Which is the worst? Which is the best? Who knows. What we do know is that each of these offenders was apprehended at Yoox.com, and that there’s plenty more where this little lot came from. If you want to, you can go forth and buy them by clicking here.

Which do you think is the worst, though, the overlord of the sheer skirt movement? If we can get to that one, maybe we can bring the rest down with it…

14 Comments

  • July 29, 2010

    naomi

    i nominate commes des garcons as the overlords of the “sheert” (sheer skirt) seeing as they had 3…3!!!!!!…hideous skirts in that line up
    please pass the eye bleach cause they were all terrible

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    • August 2, 2010

      Rock Hyrax

      I propose adding “sheert” to the official FP glossary. 🙂

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  • July 29, 2010

    Monica

    They are all so, so wrong. I’d have to say that the Maria Calderara one is the “best” but that is simply because it at least covers up the private parts. The worst is… the rest. They are all equally as bad as each other. The Voyage one does make me feel a bit sick though so maybe that one… The first one makes me think of a gothic pantomime…

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  • July 29, 2010

    CoutureCoco

    Beyond ugly.

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  • July 29, 2010

    lizvocal

    All my life, I have eschewed wearing a slip under my skirts, as they are bulky, and my skirts are not see through. So I have to wonder, is this trend just a bid by my grandmother to finally get me to wear a slip? Which begs the question, would a really cute slip even help here?

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  • July 29, 2010

    Natasha

    The Voyage one looks as if it’s been made out of net curtains from a Butlin’s chalet circa 1965. Just awful, all of them.

    I will admit to owning one sheer skirt thingy, I wear it over another skirt or trousers for bellydancing, it has jangly coins on it.

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    • July 29, 2010

      Isabel

      But it’s for dancing, and you wear something under it… I think that’s the only acceptable way to wear them…

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  • July 29, 2010

    Viper

    I love the first one…cage skirts are amazing!

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    • July 29, 2010

      Amee

      There are some cage shirts that aren’t bad..I’d guess you’d wear it as a layering piece or something. The Maria one isn’t bad.

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  • July 29, 2010

    Sammy

    I guess I could wear the second one down if I was allowed to wear flesh coloured underware. Other then that though I’d have to pick death, specially that yellow one!

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  • July 30, 2010

    Rachel

    In my opinion,the only time sheer skirts are acceptable is as part of a dancing costume.

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  • July 30, 2010

    laura

    what happens to all these ‘clothes’ when nobody buys them? Surely they will not sell out! I can’t imagine there being a waiting list for them to be back in stock!…so what happens? They go on sale? Even for £5 surely no one would buy them! Where do they end up then? It’s a mystery to me!

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  • August 2, 2010

    Danye

    Wow! I was really hoping to see something with a little fashion.. But I just dont get it.. Whats the point you might as well go naked. That would be much sexier then wearing those ugly skirts.. Yuck!

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  • August 9, 2010

    shine shahzad

    wht actually happened here???

    no clue.. but i ain’t waring this crap.. lets hope sensible pple who are fashionable agree wd me..

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