Well, at least if your feet get wet, you’ll have something to dry them with, hey?
It’s not often that Christian Louboutin attracts the attention of The Fashion Police in the negative sense: we have had to confiscate quite a few of his creations for being outright Shoe Porn, but we rarely have to actually arrest them. This time, however, we think we just might have to, because that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is a towel. On a shoe.
We don’t know. Maybe on some kind of cheap, novelty shoe – the kind of thing you’d buy on vacation as a joke – we’d be able to turn a blind eye to this. But on a £595 peep toe, which is otherwise perfect in every way? We call foul. And no, they’re not any better in white, either:
If, however, you just can’t wait to get your hands (or rather, your feet, on these bad boys), they’re available at the Christian Louboutin European website, which launched last week, allowing those of us on this side of the Atlantic to buy directly from Louboutin himself. And we will. Just not these ones…
By… allowing a toddler loose on them with a paintbrush. And if you think the paint job looks bad enough from a distance, check out the close-up:
We feel ill now. As in, this makes us feel physically uncomfortable. And honestly: if your outfit looks like it might have been the victim of a terrible accident, it’s a good sign that you’re committing a crime of fashion, isn’t it?
Still, at least we know now that it IS possible to make a bad thing even worse. Just leave it to Maison Martin Margiela…
It’s an “ugly shoe” kind of a day, so here’s another suspect, this time by our old friends and hardened fashion criminals at Maison Martin Margiela.
We actually hesitate to call these “ugly shoes”, because they’re barely even shoes at all. Or not shoes that you can see, anyway. These have a clear upper and perspex heel, so should basically create the effect that you’re walking around barefoot, on your toes. Which will be … interesting. Also, that reminds us: we need to book an appointment for a pedicure…
What do you think, Fashion Force? Are these the emperor’s new shoes, or are they the best thing since… well, since the last pair of see-through shoes we showed you?
These are £675: click here to buy them at Net-a-Porter.
You knew these were Jeffrey Campbell before you even read the title of this post, didn’t you?
Every time we think ol’ JC has surely reached the absolute limits of ugliness, a new low is reached. Or in this case, a new high: as you all know, JC’s speciality is making shoes you could bungee jump off, and these ones are no less than 5″ high. Unlike most 5″ heels, which slope gently down to the ground, these technically belong to the “flatform” family, you’ll be balancing on top of every single one of those inches, too. We’d love to see that, actually: if you do buy these, call us!
So, would you wear these? Because someone certainly will, that’s for sure. If you’d like it to be you, you can click here to buy them from Nasty Gal, where they’re $220.
c) the fact that by “tights” we mean “patchwork tights”
d) LACE patchwork tights
e) the fact that some poor Shire horse is currently wondering where his fetlocks are.
What we ARE sure about is that it all adds up to “crime of fashion” – and an expensive crime of fashion at that, because the leggings in question are $248 at Alex & Chloe. Yes.
Unfortunately, the shoes, which are really the most interested thing about this outfit don’t seem to be available for sale on the website. Perhaps they’re the model’s own? If we really needed proof that modelling is hard, this would be it…
Attention all shoe addicts! Do you have too many pairs of shoes? Well, our sister shoe blog, Shoperwoman.com, has a challenge for you: wear every pair of shoes you own in the space of a year – or lose them.
This is the third year of the popular Shoeper Shoe Challenge, which last year attracted over 100 members, all determined to use ‘em or lose ‘em, and all snapping photos every week of the shoes they’d “saved”. This year, Shoeperwoman has opened a dedicated Shoe Challenge Community, which allows participants to upload their photos and chat about the challenge on their own dedicated page at Shoeperwoman.com. There’s also a shoe forum, for all things footwear-related.
The new challenge launched today: click here to read more about it and join in!
