The 'Toe-G' - lingerie for the feet

Now, we're not saying these are ugly, exactly. It's more that they provide a solution to a problem we genuinely didn't know existed: namely, what do you do when you want to go barefoot, but still look like you're wearing shoes?

Maybe we just don't get out much, but this is a dilemma we've yet to encounter. If you have, though, the Toe-G is aimed at you. It's basically a "g-string" for your toes - no sole, no support, literally just a thong for your feet. It was originally developed for barefoot brides getting married on the beach, but of course, you can wear it anywhere you like, really.

Would you wear it, though? A Toe-G of your own will cost you $24.75 and there's a range of styles available on the company website, which you'll find here. Will you be buying?

Possibly the scariest shoes ever. EVER.

Found by the fabulous Daddy Likey, who, in turn, found them on eBay. We're weeping here, seriously.

Now, clearly The Fashion Police have seen a lot of shoes in our time, and some of them have been pretty hideous. We have to say, though, that if we were walking down the street, say, and we happened to see these bad boys poking out of the bottom of someone's pants, we really think we'd have to desert our fashion-fighting duties and just run the hell away. Fast.

Splitting Toes: Irregular Choice's 'Tippy Toe' split toe court shoes

Split-toe shoes. They always cause controversy here at The Fashion Police, with some of you arguing that they're just the same as Japanese Tabi, and therefore totally beyond reproach, and others saying that you don't really care what they're "inspired by", they look mighty uncomfortable and you'd never wear them.

Never ones to shy away from controversy, however, Irregular Choice have created these 'Tippy Toes' court shoes, complete with split toes and, er, "sticky up bit". (We don't know what the technical term is for that particular feature, sorry.) They're available at Schuh, where they're currently down to £45 from £74.99. But what do you think of them?

The shoes that broke The Fashion Police's hearts...

 

These shoes have broken our hearts. They're by Vivienne Westwood, and while we know they're not going to be to everyone's tastes (far from it, actually), The Fashion Police sometimes go for things that are super-girlie and a little bit extravagant looking, and Vivienne Westwood caters to that very well. In fact, rarely does she create something we don't like. Also: these shoes are only £75. Seventy. Five. Pounds. For Vivienne Westwood. It just doesn't get much better than that, does it?

Oh no, wait: it does. Because these shoes are part of Vivienne Westwood's collaboration with Melissa. Yes, that's the same Melissa that made the weird golf-course shoes we arrested last year, and who're best known for making shoes out of rubber. Like these, for instance.

Yes, folks, they're made out of rubber. They are rubber slingbacks. Suddenly they're looking a whole lot less attractive to us, somehow...

If you're not put off, either by the style or by the materials, you can get them at Browns.

Fashion Police Fraud Squad: Christian Louboutin Vs Barratts

Nothing normally comes even close to a Christian Louboutin shoes as far as The Fashion Police are concerned, but when our undercover detective squad brought us images of Barratts 'Thistle' sandals, well, even we were surprised. Louboutin's 'Rosazissimno' feather sandals were £400 when they first came out, but have since been reduced to £280 in the Net-a-Porter sale. The Barratts versions, meanwhile, are a mere £45, and now that the party season is over, we're looking for any excuse to justify buying them...

UPDATE: Since we wrote this post, the Barratts shoes have been reduced to a mere £25 in the sale - bargain!

Crocs Mammoth: now in leopard print

We'd like to propose an ammendement to our own "animal print is acceptable on shoes" rule, if no one has any objections. The ammendments simply says, "except Crocs". In fact, we reckon we could probably add the phrase "except Crocs" to almost any fashion "rule" out there, such is the continuing horror caused by the platic shoes.

We're not quite sure whether these animal print Mammoths are better or worse than the regular Crocs Mammoths, but we DO know we don't like them, and would file them very firmly under "crimes of fashion". If you disagree, of course, you can find them at Macy's, where they're $45.

Plastic "peep toes" by Melissa. Why?!

 

We'd like to suggest that neon coloured plastic shoes are always a crime of fashion, regardless of who they're made by. Now, who's with us on this?

These ones are made by Melissa, and are $30. No, we don't know what purpose the "peep toe" is supposed to serve either, because it's certainly not adding much in the way of aesthetic improvement, is it? In fact, it barely even deserves the name "peep toe", because as far as we can see, these are just shoes with holes in them. Plastic shoes with holes in them. That reminds us of something, now what could it be?

Disagree? Want these for your very own? Worry not: you can pick a pair up at Creatures of Comfort.

Suede stiletto shoes by Gavin Douglas - probably not for walking long distances in

Sometimes a shoe is so eye-catching and "made you look!" that we just have to feature it, regardless of the fact that we'd probably never wear it, and aren't even sure whether we love it or hate it.

These Gavin Douglas platforms are one of those shoes.

With a 6" heel and 1.8" platform, you're probably not going to be going anywhere fast in these bad boys, and you may not even want to.

But they still made you look, didn't they?

(They're £800 at Yoox. Which is a LOT of money for such an impractical shoe...)

Daylight Robbery: Robert Clergerie's 'Rio' shoes

Now, admittedly, they're not the most expensive shoes we've ever seen, but if we'd just paid $569 for footwear, we're thinking we wouldn't expect it to look like this.

Now, who's with us?

Style On Trial: Givenchy's Black Spazzolato feather shoes

We've spoken before of our reservations concerning feathers. In simple terms, we prefer them on birds. Live ones, that is. When they're not attached to birds? Well, we find them a little bit creepy, to be honest. It's not a fashion thing: it's one of those totally inexplicable phobia things, and we have absolutely no idea where it came from, but we do know it makes us ill-qualified to stand in judgment on these Givenchy Spazzolato shoes. We just can't be unbiased when all we can think of is those icky feathers brushing against our bare ankles, but we have a sneaking suspicion that, feather phobia aside, they may be really quite beautiful, with the right outfit.

Are we right? Are these shoes "heavenly", as Zappos say, or do you prefer not to wear feathers on your feet, thanks very much? 

More Union Jack fashion from Alexander McQueen: what do you think of these boots?

  Now, it's no secret that Alexander McQueen loves his Union Jacks. And sometimes The Fashion Police do too. The Union Jack has that certain punky vibe to it that can look great when it's done right.

Is it done right on these ankle boots, though? Well, they're certainly bold, bright and statement making, and as Net-a-Porter point out, "Very rock and roll".

Is this the kind of statement you actually want to make, though? If it is, you can buy them at Net-a-Porter, where they're $1260.

Style on Trial: Yves St Laurent's patchwork long boots

For a while now, The Fashion Police have been picking up murmurings about "the return of boho". Now, these Yves St Laurent boots would probably fit in pretty well with that whole vibe, but we still haven't fully recovered from the last onslaught of boho, so we're not sure if we should allow the "trend" to go any further, or if we should just whisk these off to the Fashion Police jail and hope that's the last we hear of it.

The thing is, there's a part of us that quite likes these. They look good quality, they're different from all the other boring knee high boots out there and... did we mention the quality? On the other hand, though, they look a lot like mutant clogs, too, and when we try to imagine clopping along in them, we're reminded of the sound Shire horses hooves make when they clop along.

What do you think, readers? To the Fashion Police jail, or do these deserve a reprieve?

Shoe Porn: Gina crystal heeled patent court shoes

These will undoubtedly have too much in the way of "bling" for some of you, but if sparkly shoes happen to be your heart's desire, well, these Gina court shoes have sparkle in spades. Leaving the heel and sole aside for the moment (although let's face it, it's pretty hard to ignore them), the standard court shoe shape of these will make them wearable with dresses and pants alike, although you'll obviously want to keep them for those occasions when you don't want your feet to feel like wallflowers. In other words: don't wear them to the office.

At £475, they're definitely not cheap, and with a 4.5" heel, they're probably not going to be the most comfortable shoes you'll ever own either, but if you think they'll be worth every one of those pennies, you can buy them from Browns.

Wanted! Maison Martin Margiela's bright red mid heel boots

OK, Martin Margiela, all is forgiven! We know we've had issues with you in the past, but these boots just about make up for it...

Now, we know the bright red is going to be way too much for some of you, but we're blaming it on our early Wonder Woman fixation, which has left us longing for a pair of red boots worthy of a superhero. We think these could be those boots: we love the demi-wedge heel, which helps give them a bit of a futuristic look, and while we'd be equally happy with a slightly less brash shade of red, this one definitely grabbed our attention at least.

These are £655 and will probably appall some of you because of the colour, but those who love them can pick up a pair at Browns.

Fraud Squad: Alloy V. Ugg

We know, we know - they're not your favourite footwear in the world, but Uggs do have their fans, and it would seem that Alloy are among them: we found these "sweater boots" retailing for $49.50, and looking pretty darn similar to Ugg's crocheted boots, on the left of the picture above, which are rather more expensive at $120. What's the difference? Well, not having tried either of them, we can't tell you, but we do know which pair we'd buy - IF, of course, we were planning on buying a pair of knitted, knee high boots in the first place. Which we're not. Obviously.

Don't step on our blue suede 'Repul' knee boots from Faith

OK, so they're probably not going to be the most practical boots you'll ever own but we love these blue suede 'Repul' boots from Faith, which have just the right amount of slouchiness combined with that brilliant bright blue colour to make us want to find a way to justify buying them.

At the moment, the £90 price tag is the only thing putting us off, but we're adding them to our Christmas list and hoping Father Christmas is kind to us - or that the price comes down in the sales.

If you'd prefer something a little less vibrant, these are also available in black, and you can buy a pair here.

Shoe Porn: Dune's 'Kois' rosette sandals

It's at this time of year that the thoughts of The Fashion Police start to turn to buying pretty, sparkly things to wear on our feet at all of the Christmas parties. Shoes like these 'Kois' sandals from Dune may not be the most cutting-edge or avant garde of designs, but like we said, sometimes "pretty and sparkly" is the order of the day, and we think these gain points on both of those counts. They'll work with just about any party dress you want to try and wear them with, look like they could be designer, and also come with red, navy blue and black straps, although it's the metallic versions that have won our hearts.

If they've won yours, too, they're £95 and you can buy them here.

Style Stealer: Avril Lavigne's Ruthie Davis Mary Janes

Avril Lavigne isn't a celebrity we'd normally bother stealing the style of, but we have to admit to being drawn to these Ruthie Davis Mary Janes, which she wore in US Weekly magazine recently. OK, we could possibly be doing without the gold studs on the stiletto heels, but something about this green and orange mix is really appealing to us.

What's not so appealing? The $875 price tag. Get them here.

[Source]

Shoe Style on Trial: Poste Mistress 'Act on Impulse' leather shoes

Poste Mistress aren't exactly known for making safe, sensible shoes that you can wear to go and visit your granny in, so these shoes aren't much of a departure for them. What we want to know, though, is whether you like them or not.

We find ourselves admiring certain elements of the shoe: the mink/grey colour is nice, as is the button detailing on the sides (We're suckers for buttons. Really.), but were the spats really necessary, we wonder? Or do they look a little bit like elephant skin - grey and wrinkled and, yes, ever so slightly creepy. (No offense to any elephants who happen to be reading this. Your skin is lovely - on you...)

Overall, we don't think we'd rush to buy them, although we do concede that they're better in black than they are in the picture shown above. What's the verdict, then, Fashion Force? Guilty or innocent of Crimes Against Fashion?

(If you find them innocent, you can buy them from Office for £110).

Impostor Alert! Yet another "socks pretending to be shoes" crime

Not just the old familiar Impostor Footwear crime this time, folks, but worse: really freaking ugly shoes pretending to be socks. When will the madness end?

These men's style shoes By Marsell are masquerading as sensible shoes with ankle socks stuck in them. Is anyone else reminded of those photos of people who have spontaneously combusted, leaving only their shoes and socks behind? That's what this looks like to us, so, on the plus side, if you do decide to buy them (£344, since you asked) you'll be able to play a "hilarious" joke on your housemates by leaving them lying around and pretending you just got blown clean outta them.

Or, of course, you could just do that with a regular pair of shoes and socks. Ones that aren't ugly, preferably.

High heeled Timberland boots: they're back. Run.

The last time high heeled Timberland boots raised their ugly heads heels in the world of fashion, The Fashion Police comforted ourselves with the certain knowledge that most people would surely shun them, and they would soon drop off the fashion radar, never to return.

Which just goes to show what we know, because look! Here they are back again, this time with fetching red laces! These are $119 at Shoes.com, who also have them in black. Proof that you can stick a stiletto heel on just about anything yo like, but it still won't make it pretty...

Redfoot After Party Shoes - because after the party comes the sore feet

We've all seen them: the girls who start the evening looking perfectly stylish, but end it hobbling along like the walking wounded, because suddenly the high heels that seemed like such a good idea at the start of the night feel like instruments of torture by the end of it. Maybe we've even been one of those girls ourselves, limping home-wards and finally giving up, whipping off the stilettos and walking in our stockinged feet.

It's not a great look, but it's pretty painful on the ol' feet, too, which is why Redfoot have created their After Party Shoes. These are basically soft little slipper-like shoes which fold up and fit into your handbag until such a time as you need them, at which point you just exchange them for the stilettos and know the bliss of comfortable feet once more.

There are lots of styles to choose for, including sandals, for summer use, and you can buy them for around £25 from Love Those Shoes.

Snake print Ugg boots

You've got to hand it to Ugg Australia, they try their best. So far this year we've had camouflage Uggs, leopard-print Uggs, fur-trimmed Uggs (although, to be fair, those were by different makers), and now they present us with the latest assault on our fashion sensibilities - snake print Uggs!

These are $179 at Nordstrom, who say they will only ship up to four pairs per household, so, sadly, your dream of owning more than four pairs of shiny, snake-print Ugg boots will remain unrealised. Unless, of course, you can find them somewhere else...

Matalan get glitzy with their Christmas shoe collection 2008

Glitter and sequins on shoes tends to be one of the great opinion-dividers in the fashion world. There are those who love it, and who can think of nothing more appropriate to wear on their feet for the Christmas party season, and then there are those who'll just ask if you're off to see the wizard anytime they see someone wearing them.

If you're in the former group, Matalan is going to feel like a veritable Emerald City of delights, because they've really gone to town on the sparkle this season. Let's just say that somewhere there's a sequin manufacturer rubbing his hands together with glee. Will you be rubbing yours together at the sight of these, though? Take a look over the jump to view the Matalan Christmas collection, kicking off with the t-bars above, which are £14.

Style on Trial: Maison Martin Margiela varnished heel pumps

You don't have to be Nancy Drew to figure out that The Fashion Police aren't exactly big fans of Martin Margiela's pieces of, er, "wearable art" so it was as much of a surprise to us as it probably is to you regular readers when we found ourselves drawn to these varnished heel pumps of his when we came across them on eLuxury this week.

We think the appeal here is the fact that these look a little bit like the kind of shoes a cartoon villain would wear. Maybe it's because we kind of are cartoon villains, but we quite like that. What do you think, though, readers? Love, hate or indifference?

Stella McCartney makes shoes for people with really, really pointy feet

We like pointed toes, we really do, but as with most things in life, we like them in moderation. This? Isn't really "moderation", is it? Not only could you take someone's eye out with the toes (no, we have no idea why anyone's eye would be level with your toes, but just work with us here), the fact that the uppers are almost skin coloured could make you look, not like you're wearing exceptionally pointy shoes, but like you have exceptionally pointy feet. Surreal, granted, but maybe not the best look in the world. If you disagree, though, you can buy these for $665 at Neiman Marcus.

If you thought Ugg boots were bad...

...how's about a pair of these furry boots by Colin Stuart? No, they are not slippers. Them's some outdoor boots, to wear in public and be proud of. And to make you look like some kind of furry life form is eating your feet, obviously.

Can we not tempt you at all, here? Are the Uggs starting to look good yet? If not, you can pick up a pair of these bad boys for $79 at Victoria's Secret.

Puma's 'Sabadella Sequin' Slip-On: love or hate 'em?

Party shoe, meet sneaker. Jaw, meet floor.

We jest, of course: Puma's sequined 'Sabadella' shoes aren't exactly jaw-dropping, but we have to admit, we'd be hard-pressed to think of a single occassion when we've found ourselves in need of a sequined shoe that is also suitable for sports. Then again, maybe we're just going to the wrong parties, who knows, and hey, if you absolutely must wear sneakers, we guess covering part of them with sneakers could be a good idea. We guess.

What do you think, readers? Would you buy these? Where would you wear them?

Save or Splurge: Ruffle detail shoes

Once again, the "splurge" option here isn't too much of a splurge - we think £60 is actually pretty reasonable for a pair of shoes, but there's no denying that £15 is something of a bargain, so you may just decide to save your pennies on them, instead of going for the more expensive shoes at four times the price.

The shoes on the left are from Priceless, and are £15, while the ones on the right are £60 from Faith. We think the Faith shoes definitely look more expensive, but would they be worth the extra cash, do you think? Would you choose to save or splurge?   

Kim Kardashian launches a shoe website - ShoeDazzle

Before we go any further here, let us just clarify that yes, we are talking about that Kim Kardashian - she of "hey, lookit my rear end!" fame. She's just launched ShoeDazzle, which is a ... well, it's like a club for people who find it difficult to choose shoes for themselves, as far as we can gather.

Now, clearly The Fashion Police don't have that particular problem, but those who do can pay a $39/month membership, and for that, you're sent one pair of shoes per month. The shoes are selected by ShoeDazzle's team of stylists: when you join up you're asked to complete a survey allowing them to work out what kind of styles you like. They then send give you a choice of five pairs of shoes every month, which they've "hand picked" for you - you choose the pair you like best and they're on their way to you. If you don't like any of the suggestions, meanwhile, you just let the company know and you're not charged that month.

Where does Kim Kardashian come into it all? Well, she's apparently the "founder and chief stylist". So now you know.

Some of the shoes are shown above, but, of course, you'll find more at the ShoeDazzle website. What do you think of this idea, though, folks? Is it something you'd use, do you think? 

Thong booties: the words we never wanted to hear

This week, reports have started to reach The Fashion Police of yet another worrying trend in footwear. These disturbing images were sent to us by Orla, and as you can see, they depict "thong booties". Yes, thong booties. We know. Hush, now, The Fashion Police will make the scary monsters go away. Unless, of course, you really like them, in which case you can buy yourself a pair at Shopbop, where they're currently retailing for $178. And they're also available in black...

Fashion Police Fraud Squad: Gucci Vs. Dune fringed ankle boots

Gucci's fringed 'Devendra' ankle boots have graced the feet of many a celebrity this winter, but let's face it, at $850, they're not exactly cheap - and that's the sale price. The Fashion Police's detectives, however, have been hard at work and have tracked down these 'Kaya' boots by Dune, which aren't quite as tall, granted, but then again, they're not quite as pricey either, and they'll give you the same basic look - assuming, of course, that it's a look you want to go for. Is it?

Style Stealer: Cheryl Cole's Dolce & Gabbana peep toe boots

The Fashion Police have a bit of a girl-crush on Cheryl Cole right now. Because, let's face it, she's absolutely gorgeous, isn't she? Seriously, lookit how gorgeous she is, with her cute little dimples and her shiny, shiny hair. And her giant red PEEP TOE BOOTS. Ah. And there's the rub. As much as we love her, we can't really understand why anyone would want to steal this particular element of Cheryl's style, but if you do, we feel duty bound to report that the boots in question are by D&G and cost £370 from My Wardrobe.

Would you wear them? Do you like them? Do you like them on Cheryl?

If only it was possible to buy her hair...

Shoe Porn: Miu Miu red patent wedges

After yesterday's Shoe Impostor outrage, Miu Miu have been desperately currying Fashion Police favour with these red patent wedges. It's working, too: sure, the words "red patent wedges" don't conjure up something worthy of the term "shoe porn", but these are the Ferrari of the wedge world, with everything from the sleek lines to the bright red colour making them stand out ."Vroom!" they seem to be saying. "Vroom!", indeed. Get them at Net-a-Porter.

Jessica Simpson's 'Gusla' wedges - move over Giuseppe Zanotti

Remember Giuseppe Zanotti's architectural wedges, and how we thought no one would ever actually wear them? Turns out we were wrong. Well, maybe. Jessica Simpson - or rather, the people who design shoes under Jessica Simpson's name - certainly seems to think there's a market out there for wedge shoes that you could almost walk underneath. Well, OK, not quite. But these 'Gusla' wedges are pretty eye-catching, anyway. You can buy them for $90.95 at Zappos, but would you want to, that's what we want to know?

Impostor Alert! Miu Miu in "boots pretending to be socks" crime

Oh, Lord. What Miu Miu gives, Miu Miu can also take away. Just last week we were offering them a Fashion Police Commendation for their sterling work in the field of handbags, and today we find ourselves charging them with the crime of trying to pass off boots as socks.

Do not be deceived by this dastardly behavior, people! These are no socks-and-shoes! These are boots! And pretty ugly ones at that. Given our well-documented thoughts on the issue of impostor footwear, we're sending these to the Fashion Jail. If you want to get them out on bail, it'll cost you £194 at Yoox.

Orange and snot green furry boots: every bit as bad as they sound

In green, they look like some dodgy old carpet from the 1970s. In orange (picture below the jump) they look like one of the Muppets' radioactive cousins. Either way, it's not good, is it? Oh, and they're rabbit fur. Bunnies died for this. Sometimes Fashion Police jail seems too good for certain criminals...

(If you want them, get them here.)

Green wedge "peep toes" by Melissa: explain it to us please

Setting aside the fact that Melissa generally make brightly coloured plastic shoes which are not unlike Crocs, we need to take issue with this:

Seriously, what's all that about, then? What's the point? Is there one? Because that's not really a "peep toe", is it? It's more like an illustration of what would happen if you took an extra large hole punch to the toe of your (chunky, green) shoes. If it rains, your toes will surely get wet. If it doesn't rain, fine, but it's not like it's exactly adding anything to the shoe, is it? Is it a flower holder? A place to keep your pen? What?!

These are £50 from Topshop, and we should probably point out that Melissa aren't the only ones doing the "weird hole in the toe" thing lately. Lots of culprits are. We'll get to them later...

Do you *heart* Alexander McQueen's heart peep toes?

We're just going to come right out and say it: we have absolutely no idea how you'll react to these shoes. Absolutely none. Lately you've been confounding our expectations again and again, so we're going to say absolutely nothing about these Alexander McQueen heart peep toes other than that they're £425 and you can buy them at Browns .

You can say the rest.

Walter Steiger's (almost) heel-less sequined shoes: wow

When we look at an item of clothing, and it takes us a few seconds to recognise that it IS an item of clothing, we know instantly that it belongs here on TheFashionPolice.net.

At first glance, these Walter Steiger shoes could've been a fancy ornament. Or an old-fashioned iron. That had been, er, covered in sequins. Or a door stop.  Or sequined ice skates. Of course, they are none of these things (although you could use them as ornaments or door stops if you really wanted too. Ironing with them may be a little tricky, though.): they're shoes, and what shoes they are!

They're not quite "heel-less" in the way that some of the shoes we've shown you recently have been, but they're certainly getting there. We don't think they'd fail to turn heads anyway, put it that way.

Would they be turning heads in a good way or a bad way, though, do you think? If you love them - and want them - you'll find a list of stockists at the Walter Steiger website. No prices, though: we're almost afraid to ask...

Extreme heels: Charlotte Olympia's 6" Paloma pumps

The Fashion Police have always adopted a "the higher, the better" policy when it comes to heels, but when the heels in question are 6" high, like the ones on these 'Paloma' pumps by Charlotte Olympia, well, that gives even us pause for thought, it has to be said.

Of course, the 1.5" platform on these shoes will make the heel feel a little more manageable when you're actually wearing them, but we're still willing to bet that the chances of a twisted ankle will be high in these, especially after a few drinks. And that's to say nothing of all the "what's the weather like up there?" comments you'd be getting.

Still, they're not exactly designed for talking long walks in, so we guess the question here is: would you wear these shoes? If you answered "yes", you can pick them up for £395 at Net-a-Porter.

Friday Fun: cow wellies

We seem to have had a bit of a "things kids like" theme here on The Fashion Police today, what with the Barbie jewellery and the My Little Pony boots, and even although it was unintentional, we thought we'd continue it by showing you these "cow face" Wellington boots.

These aren't actually made for children, but we reckon they'd be loved both by kids themselves and by those who like to indulge in the Dress Like A Toddler Trend. And maybe some of the rest of us, if we happened to be in need of a bit of lighthearted Friday fun.

These are $29.95 and available from Amazon.

Irregular Choice 'Lucky Charms' ankle boots: redefining 'girly'

Yay, it's My Little Pony's ankle boots!

OK, we know it's far too easy sometimes to keep apprehending Irregular Choice for their crimes against fashion, and we actually love a lot of their shoes, if the truth be told, but seriously, how could we NOT show you these ones?

£104.99 from Schuh, if you really can't resist...

Sheer Shoes: the see-through trend spreads

It had to happen sooner or later, didn't it? We've had sheer dresses ("shresses") and sheer pants ("shants") so it was only a matter of time before sheer shoes (er, "shshoes") appeared in our stores, and now here they are.

Of course, sheer shoes aren't a particularly new thing, but for some reason we just can't seem to get used to them (or, indeed, to learn to love them), and we're not quite sure why. After all, sandals and flip-flops leave feet much more exposed than these shoes from ASOS do, and yet while sandals and flip flops look right, something about these just strikes us as wrong.

What do you think of them?

Style on Trial: Christian Louboutin's fringed peep toe boots

Christian Louboutin rarely falls out of favour with The Fashion Police, so these boots have come as something of a shock, it must be said. It's a bit like that moment when you find out your parents aren't actually infallible, and it kind of sucks, really.

The fringes themselves we can deal with: there is a version of this boot that has a "normal" front to it, and we're totally down with those, as are the many celebrities they've been seen on. Why then, having created a boot that had absolutely nothing wrong with it, did Louboutin have to do and do this, we wonder? Why, for the love of God, did he go and attach the fringed leg to a peep toe?

We don't know. We really don't. The Fashion Police are not always right, though, which is why we turn to you, readers, in our hour of need. Is it true that Louboutin has messed up here, do you think, or are these boots actually perfectly acceptable, and it's just our "peep toe boot" bias guiding us wrong?

Style Stealer: Blair Waldorf's shoes from Gossip Girl 'Pret-a-Poor-Jenny'

When we're not out policing the world of fashion, The Fashion Police like to relax with an episode or two of Gossip Girl, which we love, not just for the plot, but for the clothes. This week Blair Waldorf's gorgeous t-bar shoes caught our eyes in the 'Pret-a-Poor-Jenny' episode - the shoes in question are by L.A.M.B, and are $314 from Heels.com. Wear with white tights for a true 'Blair' look...

Irregular Choice's 'Vixen's Vices' boots with robot print

Kinda like the footwear equivalent of the Christmas sweater, only with robots rather than Santa Claus, no?

Or like heeled slippers.

But no, it's just Irregular Choice's idea of a winter boot, and you can buy a pair here for £69.50.

Mariah Carey: so that's who's been buying peep-toe ankle boots!

Every time The Fashion Police see the phenomenon that is peep toe ankle boots, we find ourselves wondering, "Who would buy such things? And how would they wear them?" Today, though, we're pleased to say that the mystery has been solved: Mariah Carey would buy them. And she would wear them with leggings-worn-as-pants, a longline cardigan and, well, boobs. Case closed.

The boots in question are by Marni, and should you wish to steal Mariah's style, they can be purchased for £425 at Net-a-Porter.

Fraud Squad: Gucci's Vs Matalan 'Kelly' sandals

Oh, Matalan! It would be hard to imagine a more blatant knockoff than this version of Gucci's 'Kelly' sandals, which will retail for the grand price of £14 as part of Matalan's Christmas collection. OK, the colour's not the same, and we'd venture to suggest the quality won't be either (although for that price, what do you expect?), but the look is similar enough for the Fashion Police Fraud Squad to have been alerted to their existence.

The Gucci originals were part of the Summer 07 collection, but you can still pick up a pair at Bluefly for $535 in a limited range of sizes.

How to ruin a pair of boots, the River Island way

Oh no, how embarrassing! Looks like no one told these poor boots that Halloween was last week, and they've gone and gotten all dressed up in a silly costume, poor things!

River Island, meanwhile, clearly thought the additions were enough of an improvement to warrant sticking an extra £25 onto the price. Were they right, do you think, or should they have left well alone in this case?

Boot Sleeves: turn your shoes into "boots"

Now, we know what you're thinking, but no, these are neither socks nor leg-warmers: they are, in fact, "Boot Sleeves", and as the name suggests, they're basically "sleeves" that you pull on over your shoes in order to instantly transform them into "boots".

The problem with this, of course, is that as far as we can see, the "Boot Sleeves" do nothing of the sort, and instead, make your shoes look like... shoes worn with a sleeve over the top of them. Oh well. If that just so happens to be the look you're after, you can buy them here.

(Thanks to Kelsey for the report!)

Fashion Police Glossary: Impostor Footwear

Impostor Footwear: the Fashion Police cells are absolutely full of it, but what is it, we hear you ask?

Impostor Footwear is exactly what the name suggests: shoes, boots and socks that are all pretending to be something they're not. In other words: impostors. Into this category go the Boots-Pretending-to-Be-Shoes, the Socks-Pretending-to-Be-Boots, and everything in between.

Although some forms of Impostor Footwear can look perfectly fine, the truth is that most Footwear Impostors are also Fashion Criminals, so we've included a Rogue's Gallery of them under the jump, to help you identify the miscreants, should the need arise...

Shoe Porn: black patent 'Perla' pumps by Acne

We've been rather mean to Acne recently, so we thought it only fair to show you that it's not all mom jeans and sack dresses over there - in fact, we though these black 'Perla' pumps were lovely enough to qualify as Shoe Porn, such is their simple-but-sexy appeal. Someone must agree with us too, because these are currently very low in stock, so if you want a pair, you'll have to be prepared to act fast - and to pay £425 for them. Get them here.