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Archive for the ‘Shirts & Tops’ Category
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
At first we were confused by this item (which, by the way, comes with long sleeves, too. You know, to keep you warm?), wondering what on earth could be its purpose. And then we realised: it’s to allow you to show off your black bra, whilst still claiming to be wearing “clothes”. Genius! And also: classy!
We had hoped this was an isolated incident, but our policing of the retail world this week suggests that we are, in fact, dealing with an outbreak of the lace bodysuits, probably as part of the larger “must show your underwear at all times” movement. If you want to be part of it, this is £11.99 at Ark Clothing, and apparently best worn with acid wash jeggings.
Monday, November 9th, 2009
 Clothes-That-Are-Stuck-Together This Citizen’s Arrest was made by our own Rock Hyrax, who spotted this classic case of Clothes-That-Are-Stuck-Together in Asda last week.
As Rock says, we don’t tend to expect high fashion from Asda, but that’s no excuse for them to go around thinking its OK to take innocent clothes and stick them together. It’s NOT OK, Asda. We’re perfectly capable of putting blouses and knitwear together ourselves, should we choose to do so.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
It’s funny how your eyes start to adjust to crimes of fashion, isn’t it? A few months ago, something like this denim bodysuit from Miss Selfridge would’ve had us almost falling off our seats in horror, but now that we seem to be living in an 80s fashion hell more or less all the time, when we first laid eyes upon it our first thought wasn’t “Quick! Call out the troops!” but simply, “Now, how on earth would they expect people to wear THAT, then?”
Luckily, though, we didn’t have to wonder for long, because Miss Selfridge have helpfully answered that question for us. You’d wear a studded denim body suit with….
(more…)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
The Fashion Police love striped tops. We know some people would argue that stripes are for convicts, not for police officers, but we beg to differ, and we think these long-sleeved t-shirts are a handy kind of wardrobe basic to have around.
The thing is, though, as much as we like our long-sleeved t-shirts, we just can’t imagine paying £226 for one. Not even if we were rich. And especially not when you can get more or less the same thing for £10. OK, the Dorothy Perkins shirt on the right of this picture isn’t exactly the same as the Proenza Schouler one on the left, but it’s just one example of this style – there are a lot of stripes around at the moment, so it wouldn’t be too hard to find another one for a similar price.
Would you bother, though, or would you just buy the £226 designer shirt? Someone presumably would, because it’s currently out of stock, telling us that although we tend to save our pennies on items like this, there are presumably lots of others who wouldn’t hesitate to splurge. Are you one of them? Do you save or splurge on long-sleeved t-shirts?
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
“Matching couldn’t be easier!” say Forever 21 of this garment. And yeah, we guess we can’t really argue with them there, because the shrug is attached to the shirt, so there’s really
no matching to be done. And thank God, too, because matching white shirts with black shirts was SO HARD until this came along to save us all, wasn’t it? In fact, we’re not sure we’d have thought of doing this: black cardigan over white shirt, you say? Oooh, tricky! Rather you than us, Forever 21, rather you than us!
Forever21 layered shirt, $22.80
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
Apparently there was no way for Shopbop to illustrate the see-through nature of this Foley + Corinna top, other than making the model wear it with totally bare breasts underneath, and then Photoshopping out her nipples. No bras, no cami tops, no undergarments of any kind that would’ve allowed us to see that the top was sheer without making the poor girl look like a particularly scary Barbie. Because nipples are NOT ACCEPTABLE, but naked Barbie boobs are totally fine, apparently.
Modelling: it’s not nearly as glamorous as it looks, you know.
(Also: since they’ve yet to invent Photoshop for real life, we’d advise anyone contemplating buying this top NOT to try this look in public. Please.)
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
Sweaty armpits getting you down? Don’t worry, with the Fish Net Mesh Hoody, you’ll have a constant source or air-conditioning, right where you need it most!
We actually can’t decide whether this falls into the “ugly but practical” category (good for workouts, perhaps?) or just the “completely useless” one. Your thoughts on this most important of matters would be appreciated.
Fish Net Mesh Hoody, $112, Karmaloop
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
Fashion Crime Report
Submitted by: Andrea
Alleged Perp: Anna Sui for Target tie top
Scene of Crime: Target, of course
Accused of: Getting just a little bit carried away with the ties, and ending up looking some weird kind of knitted bondage top. The tie around the neck is just the, er, perfect finishing touch, no?
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
Oh, what the hell: we’ve already seared your eyeballs once today with that bright orange dress, so we may as well show you this John Galliano shirt too. Hopefully your sight will be back to normal by tomorrow.
On the plus side, here, isn’t it reassuring, in the wake of all of the appalling cases of Daylight Robbery we’ve had to contend with lately, to at last find a designer who’s at LEAST trying to be resourceful in the face of the recession? John Galliano clearly scoured the floor of his workroom for the scraps he used in this shirt, and this wartime “make do and mend” attitude is an example to us all in these difficult times.
It’s just the CHOICE of scraps we have a problem with…
John Galliano shirt, £158
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
We’ve shown you some pretty tasteless items of clothing in the years we’ve been fighting crimes of fashion. We think this”nipple tassle” t-shirt from Twisted Twee, though, has to be one of the most tasteless of all. Because this is designed for KIDS. Ages 0 – 4 years, to be exact. Can you imagine dressing your little newborn baby or cute toddler in nipple tassles? No, us either. The fact that there are apparently people out there who’d do that… well, that seems like more than just a crime of fashion, no?
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