Revenge of the Pointy-Headed Mannequins

Barneys, you’re scaring us. In fact, we’re shaking in our stilettos here.

We’re not just scared because this nauseatingly hideous Duro Olowu polo cardigan is apparently worth $935 to you, although that’s frightening enough, and if we let ourselves think about it too long, we just bet we won’t be able to sleep tonight.

No, we’re also scared because of the pointy-headed mannequin.

WHAT’S WITH THE POINTY-HEADED MANNEQUIN, BARNEYS?!

Seriously, are you trying to give us all heart-attacks? You can’t destroy the Fashion Police with fear, you know, (Well, you kind of can, to be honest, but we’re not going to tell you that) but we think that by creating this army of Pointy-Headed Mannequins (PHMs), you’re probably planning to try and take over the world. The Mannequins will come, and they will bring their $1000 cardigans to ensure that the Fashion Victims shall inherit the earth. Actually, we’re pretty sure Pointy-Headed Mannequins are one of the four horsemen of the fashion apocalypse, no?

They’re coming, readers. And they’re wearing expensive ugly knitwear:

L-R: Sacai sweatshirt, $745; Tao funnel-neck top, $1,310; Duro Olowu batwing top, $1,080

Don’t have nightmares.

7 Comments

  • August 12, 2010

    ia_fetishistko

    I guess they count on people with really small heads to pay over 1000$ for this..

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  • August 13, 2010

    Steph

    Am I the only person who is reminded uncomfortably of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2?

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  • August 13, 2010

    maddy

    probably they thought it was more practical and easier to dress mannequins with a pointy “head”. still, they look creepy.

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  • August 13, 2010

    Nina

    Haha, that gave me a chuckle (and a little shudder, too ;)). Love your writing 🙂

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  • August 15, 2010

    Anneke

    hideous. I wouldn’t wear these if they paid me.

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  • August 17, 2010

    Selina

    Why is the middle mannequin of the photos at the bottom wearing what seems to be a patchwork knitting bag around her neck?

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  • August 19, 2010

    Rock Hyrax

    How did this even come to be? Someone looked at the design and thought, “Ooh, we’ll be able to sell those.” Then the garments were photographed on those – things. Then someone took the photos and published them on their web site, in the expectation that people would see them and decide to buy. Unbelievable…

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