Crimes of Fashion, Knitwear

Revenge of the Pointy-Headed Mannequins

Barneys, you’re scaring us. In fact, we’re shaking in our stilettos here.

We’re not just scared because this nauseatingly hideous Duro Olowu polo cardigan is apparently worth $935 to you, although that’s frightening enough, and if we let ourselves think about it too long, we just bet we won’t be able to sleep tonight.

No, we’re also scared because of the pointy-headed mannequin.


Seriously, are you trying to give us all heart-attacks? You can’t destroy the Fashion Police with fear, you know, (Well, you kind of can, to be honest, but we’re not going to tell you that) but we think that by creating this army of Pointy-Headed Mannequins (PHMs), you’re probably planning to try and take over the world. The Mannequins will come, and they will bring their $1000 cardigans to ensure that the Fashion Victims shall inherit the earth. Actually, we’re pretty sure Pointy-Headed Mannequins are one of the four horsemen of the fashion apocalypse, no?

They’re coming, readers. And they’re wearing expensive ugly knitwear:

L-R: Sacai sweatshirt, $745; Tao funnel-neck top, $1,310; Duro Olowu batwing top, $1,080

Don’t have nightmares.

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