Pencil skinny jeans, and other crimes of fashion

We’ve heard of  “pencil leg” jeans before, but our first style suspect gives whole new meaning to the phrase:

pencil skinny jeans

pencil skinny jeans, $208

Yup, they’re jeans designed to look like ACTUAL pencils. And they’re $200. Oh, Nasty Gal, please don’t ever change. Just think how dull our Fridays would be without your presence in our weekly fashion crime roundup! Or how dull the WORLD would be without jeans designed to look like pencils! On a more serious note, we’re increasingly amazed by the growing number of so-called “fashion” items which look like they belong in a costume store. These would, like the adult onesies we featured a few weeks ago, make a super-easy Halloween costume, but then again, for $200 we’re pretty sure you could go as something WAY better than a pencil, no? Looks like you’re just going to have to wear these as “regular” clothes then. But what will you wear them with? Well, you could try this for starters:

tie- dye fringe jacket

tie-dye fringe jacket, £38

The poor model is making a valiant attempt to pretend she’s totally cool with this, but we’re not fooled: she’s wearing a shredded, tie-dye jacket, after all. In an unflattering, boxy shape. Mind you, it’s possible she’s just happy that she drew the long straw, and didn’t have to wear this:

fringe bikini

Fringe bikini, £20

We don’t know about you, but when we’re preparing for a trip the beach, our first thought is always, “Now, how can I make myself look like I have hairy boobs?” This girl has got that one figured out. We just hope she remembered to pack a comb, so she can comb out her bikini once she’s been in the water…

All that’s missing now is a pair of shoes, and we think we’ve found the perfect pair:

black platform sneakers

KTZ sneakers, $960

Nothing says “fashion” quite like a pair of $960 sneakers with a giant, ornate platform attached. Seriously.

Have a great weekend, everyone!


  • May 17, 2013

    Teresa via Facebook

    Oh my! Can anyone workout with those on their feet?! And that’s a lovely price 😮

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  • May 17, 2013


    What exactly would you wear with those platform sneakers? Mind, boggled.

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  • May 21, 2013


    Imagine cleaning out mud or dog **** out of those platform sneaker crevices..
    maybe they look cool indoors, during a photoshoot..otherwise, no.

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  • May 27, 2013


    Whow, these sneakers look like they could fly – like some weird steampunk contraption. They shoud definitively be copper or brass coloured!

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  • August 19, 2013


    I would wear those Sneakers 😀

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