Celebrity Fashion

Cheryl Cole still loving bright colours

She’s had two recent brushes with the (Fashion Police) law this week, so here’s a quick look at Cheryl Cole getting it right: or more so than she has been, anyway.

This bright orange mini dress is by Giambattista Valli, and is a much better attempt at colourful dressing than Cheryl’s colourblock ensemble. The look owes a lot to the simplicity of the dress, which allows the colour to be the stand-out point, and Cheryl looks comfortable and relaxed in it, which is always a good thing.

And not a piece of fruit in sight.

What do you think of this outfit?

Fashion Police, Handbags

Kate Spade’s New York Journal Clutch Bag: the most expensive newspaper you’ll ever buy…

This is expensive for a newspaper, but actually pretty cheap for a Kate Spade bag… which is lucky, because that’s what it is.

The idea of making clutch bags look like newspapers or magazines isn’t a new one, of course, but we wondered what you all think of it. Do you love the idea of spending $125 on the “New York Journal”, or do you just worry you’d end up throwing it in the trash by mistake?

If it’s the former, click here to buy it.

Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Thong Converse: WHY?

Seriously: is there any reason in the ENTIRE WORLD why Converse should suddenly need to have a thong front?

No, really: Converse have managed to exist for many, many years so far WITHOUT needing to have a thong front. And we’ve all managed perfectly well without thong-front Converse, too. If we need thongs, we’ll buy thongs. If we need Converse, we’ll buy…thongs, apparently.

Why has this come to pass, readers? And do you want to wear it?

(If you do, you can click here to buy these from Schuh)

[Thanks to Ariana for the report!]
Celebrity Fashion

The Penelope Cruz Fashion Show Continues: Armani Privé in Munich

Another day, another Pirates of the Caribbean premiere, and another killer outfit for Penelope Cruz.

For the Munich premiere of On Stranger tides, Penelope wore red Armani Prive. The simplicity of the cut is offset here by the vibrancy of the colour, and we think she looks fantastic. We’re not so sure about the matchy-matchy accessories, though – Pen accessorized here with a bag and shoes in exactly the same shade of red as her dress. Might it have looked better with a contrasting colour, we wonder?

You decide…

Celebrity Fashion

Fashion Police in Cannes: The Pirates of the Caribbean premiere

Luckily for The Fashion Police, not everyone in Cannes chose to go almost naked. All of the celebrities at the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere, for instance, were at least clothed. Were they well clothed, however? Well, that’s what we’re about to decide.

Let’s start with Paz Vega.

Now, Paz is one of our style crushes. She is almost always impeccable, and she is the proud holder of more than one Fashion Police gold star, for that very reason. So when we saw the top half of her outfit, we were really excited:

Now this wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste, obviously, especially given the high neck and long sleeves. But we fully expected to love it: it has a real vintage, 60s feel to it (it’s actually Azzaro 2010), and it makes a nice change from all of the flesh-flashers we tend to see on the red carpet these days.

Then we saw the bottom half:

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Fashion Police

Alexander McQueen perfects the “Boob Window”

Well, THANK GOD for bras, eh?

Without them, this model would’ve found herself doing a very different kind of “modelling” for the one she signed up for:

On the other hand, though, we somehow don’t think that when the House of McQueen decided that this grey sweater badly needed a boob window, that they anticipated it being worn with a boring beige bra underneath. Surely if you had a window on your boobs, you’d at least encase them in something a little more interesting? Or would you? What IS the boob-window etiquette these days, anyway? Not being fashion victims, we have no idea what you’re supposed to wear underneath your totally sheer top, and given that this one is already sold out, we’ll probably never know.

Unless, of course, you’d like to enlighten us?

Outerwear

In the Trenches: The Fashion Police’s Top 5 Trench Coats

You may be experiencing some gorgeous Spring weather right now, but here at Fashion Police HQ, April showers don’t give way to May flowers. In fact, they usually don’t give way at all. That’s not the only reason we love trench coats, though. They’re a style staple, but they’re also available in more than enough different styles and prints to keep things interesting.

Here are just a few of our current favourites, in no particular order:

Ringspun polka dot trench coat, £40, TK Maxx
The asymmetric collar and polka print help breathe new life into an old classic.

ASOS green trench coat, £55
A bright colour makes everything better.

Gryphon skirt trench, $425
Business in front, party at the back. Sort of.

Tulip print trench coat, £55, Topshop
It’s summer. Some kind of floral print is compulsory.

Burberry studded trench jacket.
Well, you can’t mention trenches without mentioning Burberry…

Celebrity Fashion

Cheryl Cole’s breasts make a break for it at Cannes

There are lots of things we could say about the white dress Cheryl Cole wore on the red carpet at Cannes last night. The beautiful cut, the perfect fit, the, er, fruit attached to teh waistband.

Unfortunately, though, we can’t say any of those things, because our officers were much too busy making sure Cheryl’s breasts stayed under control, and within the confines of the dress, at all time.

We think it all worked out OK.

What do you think of Cheryl’s look here?

Shoes

Impostor Alert! The Scarf Boot

It’s a boot that’s also a scarf. Or a scarf that’s also a boot, we’re not sure which. Either way, it’s a Footwear Impostor. It’s also completely sold out, which is a shame, really, because look what you can do with it:

The good news here is that if you really want this look, you could always just, you know, buy a scarf. And tie it to your legs. The bad news, of course, is that you will look like someone who has tied a scarf to their legs. But it’s up to you.

Do you like the scarf boot? Click here if you want to see more images – or if you’re hoping it will be magically re-stocked.

[Thanks to Petrona for the report!]
Handbags

Handbag of the Week: Red suede and leather frame bag from River Island

A simple, but cute, shape, and a bright pop of red combined to persuade us to name this River Island frame bag our Handbag of the Week. Although it’s not a carpet bag, there’s just something a bit ‘Mary Poppins’ about it – in fact, it looks like you could keep everything including the kitchen sink in there, doesn’t it? Well, OK, maybe not the kitchen sink. There’s definitely room for your wallet, phone, sunglasses, and all of the other things that tend to end up in handbags, though. (In ours? Handcuffs and tasers, to help us catch fashion criminals. And red lipstick.)

This is also available in tan, and is £59.99: click here to buy it.

Celebrity Fashion

Fashion Police in Cannes: The Opening Ceremony

OK, we take back everything we’ve said about feathers on dresses. Feathers, you may go forth and do your thang, as long as you do it as nicely as you have on this dress, as seen on Uma Thurman at the opening ceremony for the Cannes Film Festival. This is by Versace, and it looks graceful and swan-like: but in a GOOD way, not in a Bjork-at-the-Oscars kind of way. We didn’t actually think there was a good way for dresses to remind us of birds, but we stand corrected. Onwards!

Rachel McAdams, meanwhile, wore Marchesa, and we’re not quite sure what to make of it. In this photo, she’s looking over her shoulder at us, all, “Yeah, I’m wearing a dress that looks a bit like a paper doily. SO? You wanna make something of it?” Actually, Rachel, we’re not sure we do. On anyone else this could so easily have been an Ugly Prom Dress of the Day. On you, though… we don’t hate it. Although we do want to rip off the train.

Salma Hayek wore Gucci. We approve.

Finally, this is Fan Bing Bing:

She’s our new favourite person. Isn’t that dress amazing?

Crimes of Fashion, Skirts

Skirt meets harem pant, courtesy of Rick Owens

It takes a special kind of skill to make a skirt look worse than a pair of harem pants.

Rick Owens has that special kind of skill.

Rick, we name you the Fashion Frankenstein.

But what shall we call the Monster? What DO you call a cross between a skirt and harem pants? Skarem pants? We think so.

And what would you charge for a skarem pant, we wonder?

Oh, probably about £219, don’t you think?  If that sounds reasonable to you, click here to buy this.

Handbags

Daylight Robbery? Jil Sander market striped silk-twill bag

This is not a carrier bag.

We repeat: this is NOT a carrier bag.

It just looks like one. And we don’t know about you, but if we’re paying £445 for a bag, we’d rather it didn’t look like it came from the local market.

Daylight Robbery? The fashion world having a good old laugh at fashion victims? Or a delightfully ironic statement, which you’d be happy to pay for? Which is it?

(Click here for the product page)