Crime Fighting Advice


multiciloured platform shoes with lips

Frankenshoes: Four pairs of platform wedges under arrest

OK, that’s it, we’ve had enough: we’re officially declaring gigantic platform shoes to be an automatic crime of fashion. While there are a few – and ONLY a few – examples of humongous platforms which we DON’T hate, they’re few and far between, and the majority of shoes in this style simply serve to make their wearers look like they’ve been the victim of a “hilarious” prank in which their feet were stuck in cement and left there. Or in which their normal shoes were replaced with horses hooves in the night. We think this trend has reigned for long enough, so we’ve rounded up these four examples of it, so that you’ll know what you’re looking for when you’re out on…

floral Zara dress

DOTD: Zara floral printed dress

Zara floral printed dress, £49.99 Like just about every other fashion brand out there, Zara have gone big on floral print this season, and our favourite floral item from the current collection has to be this white floral print dress. The cap sleeves and below-the-knee hem will have many people dismissing this dress as too frumpy, but the slim-fitting shape keeps this elegant and sophisticated. Those aren’t necessarily words we’d normally associate with floral-print dresses, which generally veer more into the “sweet and girlie” territory, but this one uses an understated print which is a little more grown-up than some of its floral sisters, and which we think looks more expensive than the £50 it’ll actually cost you – in…

black leggings with padded sections on legs

Crime of Fashion: Robot leggings

We thought the fringe leggings we arrested this morning would be the worse thing we’d have to show you today, but then we stumbled across these at Nasty Gal, and thought for a moment that it was April 1st all over again: This is no joke though, officers: those really are a pair of black leggings with knee-holes. Oh yeah, AND THE REST. “The rest” in this case takes the form of those strange, silver padded sections attached to the legs: Nasty Gal call them “robot leggings”. Which is certainly one way to describe them, although we’re sure you can think of others. They even managed to distract us from the shoes, and that’s no mean feat. While we’re on…


Fringe leggings, revisited

We’ve discussed the existence of fringe leggings before, but we figured these ones deserved a special mention, not just because of the leggings themselves, but because of the styling of the whole outfit: They’re basically My Little Pony’s leggings, aren’t they? As in, if My Little Pony ever decided to wear clothes, multicloured pastel print leggings with manes of their own would probably be high on its wish list. These Bitching & Junkfood creations were presumably high on someone else’s wish list, too, because they seem to have sold out at ASOS, despite their bes efforts to put people off, by styling them with a fishnet top, neon bra, and chunky platform boots, which are either made by Jefferey Campbell…

drop crotch cycling shorts

Fashion Police hunt Extreme Boyfriend: the new fashion criminal on the block

While compiling this week’s Fashion Crime Roundup, we found ourselves all of a sudden involved in a manhunt. We’d like to thank the people at ASOS for introducing us to what they describe as “extreme boyfriend cargo pants“: Now, we hate the pants, and that’s a given, so we were instantly suspicious of this “extreme boyfriend” character. We’re so curious about that dude, and, in the absence of any further information, are just going to assume he’s “extreme” because his body is shaped like this: So, we’re looking for a guy with a super-long torso and very short legs, then. That’s the only kind of person we can imagine wearing this. We’ll put out an APB, but we’d advise you not…


Do you return clothes you’ve already worn?

According to a survey by, 56% of shoppers have tried to return an item of clothing they’ve already worn: i.e. they wore the item without removing the label, and then returned it a few days later for a full refund – a bit like using clothing stores as their own personal lending library. Now,we’re always a little sceptical about studies like this. This one used a sample of 520 people, which is probably not representative of everyone in the UK. We know some people do happily admit to doing this kind of thing, though, so today we thought we’d do a quick survey of our own, and ask: would YOU? Now, in asking this question, we’re hoping the percentage who answer “yes”…

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