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long scuba swimsuit

From the ‘Where Would You Wear It?” Files…

Mesh leggings. MESH. LEGGINGS. If ever there were two words that should never appear in a sentence, “mesh” and “leggings” would be those words. Alarmingly, these aren’t the worst example we’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t necessarily exonerate them, does it? They definitely wouldn’t pass the “where would you wear them?” test (In which you have two seconds to come up with somewhere to wear the item in question: if you can’t do it, it’s guilty as charged…), let’s put it that way. Three more words that shouldn’t ever been used in the same sentence – or, more accurately, in the same product description: “Long scuba swimsuit“. The “scuba” and “swimsuit” bits we can live with – nothing wrong with that….

fashion infractions

Some minor fashion infractions

Not all crimes of fashion are big ones: the type that would have the Fashion Police swooping down to arrest you, without the chance of bail. Some are just… well, some are just like this: [Buy it here] It’s hard to imagine how they could have styled this in a way that would’ve made the jacket look any worse, or the model any more miserable, huh? She looks every bit as uncomfortable as she would if someone had stolen all her clothes, and some kind passer-by had lent her his several-sizes-too-large denim jacket to protect her modesty. There may well be a way to make this jacket look a whole lot better – this just isn’t it. Actually, we suspect…

t

Fine feathers make fine shoes… or do they?

FINE FEATHERS MAKE FINE BIRDS… er, we mean shoes. And not so much fine shoes, as “really quite strange shoes“. The kind of shoes you probably wouldn’t be able to wear all that often, because unless you had someone carrying you around on a litter or something, we’re not going to trust those feathers to remain looking pristine for long. And we really don’t think that bedraggled feathers would create quite the same look, somehow… Of course, that’s just us: we can’t ignore the fact that feather-heeled shoes are still much more popular (at least, if what we’re seeing in stores is anything to go by, anyway. There’s sometimes a difference between what fashion brands will try to sell you, and…

Shopbop spring sale

Fighting crimes of fashion with the Shopbop sale

It’s Shopbop sale time again! We’ve already shared some shopping picks today over at both Forever Amber and ShoeperWoman, so we’re going to keep it short and sweet here, and simply let you know you’ll get 25% off all purchases (both full-price and sale) by using the code ‘INTHEFAM’ at checkout. The Fashion Police have already placed their orders, so now it’s your turn! Shop the sale here!

crimes of fashion

5 Fashion Crimes You *Really* Shouldn’t Commit

As our regular readers will know by now, our tongues are inserted firmly in our cheeks when we write for The Fashion Police, and most of our pronouncements on these pages are really just a matter of taste. One person’s crime of fashion is another’s most wanted item, and so on and so forth. There are, however, just a few things that we think really ARE “crimes” of fashion: you won’t go to jail for them, but all the same, we reckon you should run, don’t walk, from the following… 01.  Wearing things just because they’re fashionable Hands up everyone who wore Birkenstocks last year, just because they were, like, SO on trend? Have you bought yourself a pair of glove…

jumpsuit that turns into a dress for some reason

Introducing the jumpsuit that’s also a dress

We are so confused right now. ASOS describe this item as an “oversized jumpsuit dress”, which, they point out, “can be worn as a dress or as a jumpsuit”.  We have so many questions: Question # 1: We get that it’s oversized. What we don’t understand is why it’s SO oversized. Like, “oversized” can look cute, and kinda sexy, in an effortless, “Oh yeah, I totally just stole my boyfriend’s shirt,” way… or it can just make you look like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes, and they really, REALLY don’t fit. The fact that this model is looking down at herself, as if to say, “What the HELL am I wearing here?” suggests to us that this outfit falls into…


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