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crimes of fashion

5 Fashion Crimes You *Really* Shouldn’t Commit

As our regular readers will know by now, our tongues are inserted firmly in our cheeks when we write for The Fashion Police, and most of our pronouncements on these pages are really just a matter of taste. One person’s crime of fashion is another’s most wanted item, and so on and so forth. There are, however, just a few things that we think really ARE “crimes” of fashion: you won’t go to jail for them, but all the same, we reckon you should run, don’t walk, from the following… 01.  Wearing things just because they’re fashionable Hands up everyone who wore Birkenstocks last year, just because they were, like, SO on trend? Have you bought yourself a pair of glove…

jumpsuit that turns into a dress for some reason

Introducing the jumpsuit that’s also a dress

We are so confused right now. ASOS describe this item as an “oversized jumpsuit dress”, which, they point out, “can be worn as a dress or as a jumpsuit”.  We have so many questions: Question # 1: We get that it’s oversized. What we don’t understand is why it’s SO oversized. Like, “oversized” can look cute, and kinda sexy, in an effortless, “Oh yeah, I totally just stole my boyfriend’s shirt,” way… or it can just make you look like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes, and they really, REALLY don’t fit. The fact that this model is looking down at herself, as if to say, “What the HELL am I wearing here?” suggests to us that this outfit falls into…

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A solution for people who wear pyjamas in public

Did you see the recent fuss about the headteacher who asked parents to stop doing the school run in their pyjamas, and to think about maybe getting dressed before leaving their homes in the mornings? It was a recent story, but it wasn’t a recent development. Back in the days when The Fashion Police were at school (which, OK, is a long time ago now, but still…) it would’ve been totally unthinkable for anyone’s parents to turn up at the gates in their pyjamas or dressing gowns: in fact, anyone who DID have to suffer the indignity of being seen with pyjama-clad parents back in those days is probably still in therapy, trying to get over the after-effects of the…


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