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pom pom cardigan

Fashion Crimes of the Week: Pom Poms and Denim

For as long as The Fashion Police have been in existence, one of our most hated crimes of fashion has always been something we refer to as the “Dress Like a Toddler” trend. This is, in case you haven’t guessed, when grown women (and men) wear clothing that wouldn’t look out of place on a three year old – but which DOES look just a little bit out of place on the aforementioned grown adult. Now, we’re not saying that as soon as you reach maturity you have to start dressing all “sensible”, and wearing the kind of clothes your grandma might approve of: we’re just never going to understand why people willingly infantilise themselves with their clothing. And we’re…

strange playsuit

If you saw it in a thrift store…

… would you pay £50 for this playsuit? We’re going to go with “no” on this one – in fact, we’d probably take one look at it and wonder how on earth the staff in the store had let something so obviously past its best under their radar… and who on earth would buy it. If we looked at the price label and saw it was £50, we’d be even MORE amazed – even if it still had the tags on, and was obviously unworn: and we’d be even LESS likely to buy it, obviously! Of course, taste is subjective, and for every officer out there who wouldn’t wear this playsuit even if you paid HER £50, there’s another who’d…

red neckerchief

Two eighties fashion trends that came back this season

Love ’em or loathe ’em, the 1980s are never very far away when it comes to fashion. Here are two current trends which the children of the 80s might recognise… NECKERCHIEFS Back in the late 80s, fans of the boyband Bros used to wear high-waisted jeans (the kind that would probably now be described as “mom” jeans), white shirts or t-shirts, and red bananas, tied around the neck. We thought we were the BOMB, seriously. Now we simply feel like we’ve gone back in time, because that whole look has come right back around, to the point where it’s hard to find a fashion blogger these days who doesn’t have a chirpy little red bandana tied around the neck. These…

image1xxl

A fringe too far

Well, we’ve once again reached that time of year, when, likely inspired by Coachella and other festivals, fashion designers decide to start pushing fringed items on us, so we can all pretend to be flower children or something. “Festival fashion” has a lot to answer for, basically: especially when people who aren’t even going to festivals start thinking they have to wear some strange, 70s-inspired “costume”, normally involving flower garlands and the likes. But we digress. Here’s an example of a pair of jeans that have been given the “fringe” treatment: with fairly comical results: Jeans: River Island Now, we’re going to assume these will probably be popular. It’s festival season, after all: people are going to look at these…

long scuba swimsuit

From the ‘Where Would You Wear It?” Files…

Mesh leggings. MESH. LEGGINGS. If ever there were two words that should never appear in a sentence, “mesh” and “leggings” would be those words. Alarmingly, these aren’t the worst example we’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t necessarily exonerate them, does it? They definitely wouldn’t pass the “where would you wear them?” test (In which you have two seconds to come up with somewhere to wear the item in question: if you can’t do it, it’s guilty as charged…), let’s put it that way. Three more words that shouldn’t ever been used in the same sentence – or, more accurately, in the same product description: “Long scuba swimsuit“. The “scuba” and “swimsuit” bits we can live with – nothing wrong with that….

fashion infractions

Some minor fashion infractions

Not all crimes of fashion are big ones: the type that would have the Fashion Police swooping down to arrest you, without the chance of bail. Some are just… well, some are just like this: [Buy it here] It’s hard to imagine how they could have styled this in a way that would’ve made the jacket look any worse, or the model any more miserable, huh? She looks every bit as uncomfortable as she would if someone had stolen all her clothes, and some kind passer-by had lent her his several-sizes-too-large denim jacket to protect her modesty. There may well be a way to make this jacket look a whole lot better – this just isn’t it. Actually, we suspect…


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