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Anyone remember that Beautiful South track, Song for Whoever? That’s what we think of when we look at this dress. “Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue…” or, in this case, “Nancy, Sheena, Shona, Janet…”
Yes, it’s Emma Cook’s ‘Names’ dress, and even if one of the names happens to be yours, we still think it would set you up for an evening filled with people walking up to you to make “hilarious” jokes about never forgetting names/not being able to remember your own name/whatever. And of course, that may well be the point.
Just to confuse people further, though, you could always go for the sweater version:

It’s covered in men’s names rather than women’s ones. Which is… definitely a conversation starter, we’d imagine.
What do you think, readers? Want to walk around with some strangers’ names on your chest?
Names Dress by Emma Cook, £65, Topshop

Would you all mind just talking amongst yourselves for a few minutes? We’re busy gazing at these shoes. Both of them. Sure, the Louboutins are shinier and sleeker, but the Dune versions are only £85, which is a big saving on the circa £400 you’d have paid for the Louboutins, if they were still in stock.
Of course, quite apart from anything else, these are a good example of Shoe Porn, which means we’re going to have to confiscate them. Poor us. It’s a hard knock life, sometimes.
When we first laid eyes on this sweater, we must admit, we didn’t know WHAT to think. It was almost as if the sheer shininess of it had a kind of stunning effect on us, which wiped all thoughts from our minds and left us just staring there at the sweater, and maybe dribbling slightly.
Now that we’ve recovered, we… well, actually, we STILL don’t know what to think. We’re tempted to view this as a particularly flamboyant breed of Christmas sweater, but of course, it could just be further evidence of the current fashion ruling stating that everything must be covered in sequins at all times, OR ELSE.
What do you think of it, readers? If you like it, it’s £60 at Topshop.
Oh, Marc. Marc, Marc, Marc. Look, if you absolutely MUST stick shoes to boots, in a devlish bid to convince us that the wearer is, in fact, wearing a pair of black court shoes (and we’re not saying you SHOULD, by the way), you could at least make the boot part have the same approximate shape as a leg. Because these don’t look like shoes and tights/socks -they look like shoes and SACKS. Sacks, Marc. Who wants to wear sacks on their legs? WHO?
Is it you, readers? Do you want to wear sacks, but be able to say they’re “boots”? If so click here, and have £258 at the ready.
Marc Jacobs boots, £258
 Something missing?
Following on from the Dion Lee blazer we showed you last month (you know, the one that didn’t have any elbows?), The Fashion Police are saddened to report that attacks on defenceless jackets are continuing, across the world. The latest victim is this Cynthia Rowley jacket, which appears to have had part of its back removed by an un-named attacker.
What was the motive for this crime? We’re dammed if we know. We do realise that a nice pair of shoulder blades can be sexy, but the grey t-shirt you can see under this jacket? Not so much. And if you did wear it with nothing underneath, in a bid to show off your shoulders, well, you clearly have a better tolerance of the cold than we do.
The jacket in question is currently recovering from its ordeal at a Fashion Police safe house. If you’d like to offer it a more permanent home, you’ll need to cough up $365 to Shopbop.

Jeggings. They almost never go down well here at The Fashion Police, and yet, every time we set foot outside the HQ we see lots of people wearing them: often badly, it has to be said. In other words: they’re not going anywhere yet, so we thought it was time to investigate how best to wear them.
Your Style Challenge this week, then, readers, is to use Polyvore to build an outfit around the jeggings shown above. Just to make it even more difficult fun, we’ve selected a pair of acid wash jeggings, too. You can thank us later.
You’ll find the rules of the game under the jump. If you simply want to BUY the jeggings, meanwhile, they’re £18 at New Look.
Read the rest of this entry »
Well, it’s certainly pretty, we’ll give it that.
£760 / $1,260 worth of “pretty”, though? For a HEADBAND?
Um, no. And also: wow.
Feel like splashing some serious cash? Get it at Net-a-Porter.

It’s a little too early for Christmas (although try telling it to the stores who already have their Christmas trees up and carols blasting out all day), but we couldn’t resist showing you this little clutch bag from the Judith Leiber Holiday 2009 collection. Given the designer, it’ll be no surprise at all to you to hear that the price is a heart-attack inducing $3,995, but if that sounds good to you, you can buy it here.
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