Celebrity Fashion

Penelope Cruz spotted commiting “drop crotch pants” offence at London premiere of ‘Broken Embraces’

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Penelope Cruz: "I'm beautiful enough that I can totally get away with these drop-crotch pants, right? Even although they DO make me look like a giant, mutant toddler?"

Pedro Almodovar: "Did I ever tell you I do a bit of undercover work for the Fashion Police from time to time, Pen?"

Penelope Cruz: "You're not taking me to the premiere, are you?"

Celebrity Fashion, Style On Trial

Celebrity Style on Trial: Gwyneth Paltrow’s Preen mini dress

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Gwyneth Paltrow had herself a bit of a fashion renaissance last year, when she suddenly started wearing skyscraper heels and tiny little skirts. And she's still doing it. Here she is attending the Children of the City's Champions of Hope Gala this week in a Preen mini dress and… yes, a pair of high heeled boots.

This particular style of "ripped effect" bodycon dress has been popular on the red carpets of the world this year, but what do you think of Gwyneth's attempt to work it? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Tell us in the comments…

Shoes, Style On Trial

Style on Trial: Boots pretending to be (sequined) socks, by Viktor & Rolf

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We're all familiar with the crime of fashion that is Boots-Pretending-to-be-Socks, but what if the socks in question are encrusted with sequins, like these Viktor & Rolf numbers? What then, readers? Is it still a crime of fashion, or does the presence of so many shiny sequins serve to distract you from the fact that your socks are still stuck to your shoes.

We THINK we know what the answer to this question will be, but then again, you've surprised us before, so we put it to you know: what do you think of these sequin sock/shoe combos by Viktor & Rolf? Would you convict or acquit them of crimes of fashion?

(If you want to acquit them, you can buy them at Colette, where they're $655.)

Crimes of Fashion, Jeans

When leggings mate with jeans…

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… you get Sivvy’s ‘Sophie’ cropped skinny jeans, $242 at Shopbop.

Unlike our old friend girls jeggings, which are merely leggings PRETENDING to be jeans (Impostor Alert! Impostor Alert!), these are an actual hybrid: skinny jeans with a jersey insert. Which is… an idea. And if you’re someone who has difficulty making your mind up in the morning (“Jeans or leggings?” So much choice!”) you may even think it’s a pretty good idea at that.

Do you, though? Would you pay $243 to find out what it’s like at that border where jeans and leggings meet? Or does the photo tell you all you need to know?

Handbags

Handbag of the Week: Kenneth Cole New York Foldaway Small Satchel

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The Fashion Police are rather partial to multi functional bags that can be carried in more than one way, so if the lovely colour of this one hadn't caught our eye, the fact that it can be carried either in the hand or over the shoulder probably would have.

It's by Kenneth Cole New York, and it looks like the kind of bag you'd be able to use for both formal and casual occasions fairly easily. It's also available in grey, and is $338 at Piperlime.

Fashion Police

Bai Ling back under Fashion Police arrest

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She's been out on parole for a few months now, but tonight The Fashion Police can confirm that hardened fashion criminal, Bai Ling, is once more safely under lock and key, having violated one of the terms of her parole, namely the condition that she wear ACTUAL clothes at all times.

As we're sure you can see, Bai has gone back to wearing accessories only, and is seen here in a wide belt and what looks like a large bib. Don't worry, though, readers, the streets are safe once more, and Bai will have plenty of time now to think about what she's done.

Fashion Trends

Fashion Trends: Sequins on everything for Autumn/Winter 09

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Fashion's gone a little bit Serena Van Der Woodsen this season, and by that we mean: sequins. Lots of them.

Actually, it's only the cardigans that really remind us of Serena (although we wouldn't be surprised to see her in the leggings either), but for Autumn/Winter 09, our beloved designers haven't stopped there, and have given just about everything a liberal sprinkling of sequin. Dorothy Perkins, for instance, has a whole page of the stuff. Jackets and tops seem to have had the worst of it, but if you're a Shoeperwoman reader, you probably already know that sequined shoes are very much in evidence at the moment, too.

So, what do you think of this? Will you be getting your sequin on, or is this look just too OTT for your tastes? Tell us!

Sequin bomber, £20, Matalan; Sequined cardigan, £65, Mango; Sequin boyfriend jacket, £70, Dorothy Perkins; Sequin ankle leggings, £40, Topshop; Shoes, £100, Kurt Geiger, knitted sequin cardigan, £85 Topshop

Fashion Fraud Squad, Shoes

Fashion Police Fraud Squad: Martinez Valero Vs Manolo Blahnik

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 When Shoeperwoman alerted the Fraud Squad to the case of Martinz Valero Vs Manolo Blahnik yesterday, we we a little surprised to find that Manolo Blahnik apparently had nothing to say about this blatant copy of the famous 'Carrie" shoes from the Sex and the City movie. Of course, it's easy enough to spot which is the cheaper shoe, but as Dana pointed out over at Shoeperwoman, $164 isn't all THAT cheap for a knockoff: although we guess it does compare favourably to the $995 you'd pay for the Manolos.

The Valero shoes are also available in gold and silver, and you can get them at Zappos. Would you buy them?

Fashion Police

Fashion DIY: Wool & the Gang knitting kits at Net-a-Porter

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Any knitters out there?

It's been a long time since The Fashion Police tried to knit anything more ambitious than a scarf, and even that failed miserably, but these Wool and the Gang kits make us want to take up the needles again. Not only do we love the name, these contain everything you'll need to make various garments, ranging from scarves and hats to waistcoats, legwarmers and gloves. Each kit provides you with needles, Peruvian wool, a pattern, a sewing needle and two patches, one of which reads "Knit-a-Porter". Hee!

Not being knitters ourselves, we're not sure how affordably-priced these are, but prices range from £64 – £120, and you can see the full range here.

Dresses

Subway Map Print dress by Francis means you’ll never be lost in New York again

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Planning a trip to New York city? Worried you might get just a little bit lost? Worry no more, readers, just slip on the Subway Map Dress by Francis, and you'll have a map of the entire New York subway with you at all times! (If you're going somewhere that happens to be printed on the rear of the dress, though, well, good luck with that…)

What's weird about this one is that we're not even describing it as a crime of fashion. Would you?

BUY: Subway print dress, $186

Handbags

Topshop make sweet handbags. Literally.

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These are either sweet in a super-cute way or sweet in a "rots your teeth" way. What they definitely are is sweet in a "looks like a sweetie in a wrapper" kind of way, which is exactly how Topshop wanted them to look.

What do you think of these, readers? Want to carry a giant piece of candy on your shoulder? If so, you can buy them at Topshop, where they're £22 each.

Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Giuseppe Zanotti leopard print wedges attacked by wild animals

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Looks like the leopards were pissed at the thought of Giuseppe Zanotti using their trademark print on his shoes, hmm?

When Shoeperwoman first drew our attention to these shoes, our initial intention was to put them up On Trial. The more we look at them, though, the more certain we become that we can see them looking right back at us. Well, they DO have eyes, don't they?

Because footwear with faces scares us, we're going to play it safe and slap these in jail. Bail is set at 785 euros, and if you want to set them free, you can pay up here.

Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Shant Spotting: Jen’s Pirate Booty Chaka Khan Pants

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We should probably say here that, according to Shopbop, these shants are supposed to be worn as "beach cover-ups" – although quite what they're supposed to "cover up" is beyond us. 

Still, we figured the fact that what we're looking at here is essentially a pair of $128 harem shants made them worthy of mention here. Well, that and the fact that they're made by a brand called "Jen's Pirate Booty". Isn't that fabulous?