Crime Fighting Advice


kitty clutch bag

Cute or Kiddy-ish? Meadham Kirchhoff ‘Kitty’ clutch

It’s been a while since we talked about age-appropriate dressing – or the ‘Dress Like a Toddler Trend’ as we call it – but this Meadham Kirchhoff clutch bag brought it back to mind. Now, the cat ladies amongst you may well be squealing in delight at the sight of the cute ickle kitty-witty. But at the same time, this is a £450 clutch… which looks like something you could pick up in Claire’s for a mere fraction of that price. Is this a cute, fun little bag that will add a touch of whimsy to any outfit? Or is it strictly for the (very rich) kids? [Product Page]

Christian Louboutin Lady Peep towel

Christian Louboutin makes shoes out of towels

Well, at least if your feet get wet, you’ll have something to dry them with, hey? It’s not often that Christian Louboutin attracts the attention of The Fashion Police in the negative sense: we have had to confiscate quite a few of his creations for being outright Shoe Porn, but we rarely have to actually arrest them. This time, however, we think we just might have to, because that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is a towel. On a shoe. We don’t know. Maybe on some kind of cheap, novelty shoe – the kind of thing you’d buy on vacation as a joke – we’d be able to turn a blind eye to this. But on a £595 peep…

Wonder Woman One-Piece from Topshop

Wonder Woman’s One-Piece, from Topshop

Wonder Woman would approve of this, wouldn’t she? We know it doesn’t have the stars on the pants, and that is, indeed, unfortunate, but even so, if you’re looking for an easy way to look like a superhero on the beach this summer, this would be it. And honestly, we kind of love it. Golden rope and crown not included. Colourblock one-piece, £32, Topshop: click here to buy it.

Marc Jacobs ruffled plastic skirt

Plastic Fantastic? Marc Jacobs ruffled plastic skirt?

Some might say that a £550 plastic skirt is always going to be a Crime of Fashion, regardless of what it actually looks like. Others might say that, why, this skirt is “avant-garde” (Yes, Net-a-Porter, we ARE looking at you) and therefor totes fashion-forward and automatically awesome. Plus, it was on the Marc Jacobs RUNWAY, and he is a DESIGNER, and DESIGNER fashion can NEVER BE WRONG BECAUSE IT IS OMGART. (Fashion victims, we’re looking at you now…) We, meanwhile, just say that, you know, at least Scarlett O’Hara had a decent pair of curtains to make her dress out of. Today’s women, they have to cobble together a skirt out of a collection of old rubbish bags. So sad!…

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