We have no idea how people can ever feel comfortable in swimsuits like this. Even with liberal amounts of tit tape, we’d still be afraid to bend over, turn round, or, you know, move at all in case the girls broke loose. Then again, we’re not Lindsay Lohan, and we’re not into topless sunbathing: if you are, you may well find a suit like this perfectly acceptable, especially if you’re on someone’s yacht in the Caribbean, with only the long-range lenses of the paparazzi to worry you. We still don’t think it looks comfortable, though…
Well, readers, it’s January, which, for fashion-lovers everywhere means just one thing: sales!
The Fashion Police have something of a love/hate relationship with sale-shopping. On the one hand, everyone loves a bargain, and if that bargain happens to be a beautiful example of Shoe Porn, a fabulous dress or covetable coat, then so much the better.
So there’s lots to love about the sales, make no mistake. On the other hand, though: crowded, overheated shops, clothes racks that resemble a jumble sale, having to hunt through piles and piles of clothes only to find that they don’t have your size anyway and, worst of all, the frequent realisation that nothing you actually want has gone on sale, and instead the stores have simply rolled out all of their unsold summer stock (which was unsold for good reasons)… well, we can quite happily live without all of that, thanks very much. Also: we’re sure we’re not the only ones who go sale shopping and come home with armfuls of full-price items, are we? Oh.
Tell us, then: are you a professional bargain hunter, who loves nothing more than a good sale scrimmage or do you, like us, tend to lurk at home until it’s all over, and then resume your normal shopping habits?
A little bit of pin-up girl style on the high street, and something that could easily become a winter wardrobe staple, all this Topshop pencil skirt needs is a pair of high heels and something simple on top, and you’re good to go.
It’s an affordable £35, and although it’s no longer available in all sizes on the website, unfortunately, you can still find it in store. We suppose a price drop in the January sales is too much to hope for, Topshop?
This year at The Fashion Police, we’re aiming to increase our celebrity fashion coverage, and in order to do that, we’ve created a whole new section of the site, called Rate the Look.
As the name suggests, this part of the site exists to allow you to see what our celebrity friends and fashion victims are wearing on a day-to-day basis, and to tell us what you think of their looks. Unlike our regular coverage, these aren’t necessarily fashion crimes, and they’re not necessarily gold star worthy: they’re simply there for those of you who’re interested in celebrity fashion to look at and dissect.
Because we know many of you come here purely for the fashion crimes and other finds, we’re keeping our celebrity fashion shots off the front page for the moment, although they will show up on the RSS feed and on our Twitter account. If you don’t want to see them, just keep viewing the home page of the site, which will continue to bring you the usual mix of fashion crimes and wanted items. If you do want to dip into the world of celebrity fashion, however, you’ll find a link to the new section at the top of the page, right under the header: or you can simply click here. Enjoy!
Anna Friel was one of our celebrity fashion crushes of 2009, with her exit-outfits from London’s Theatre Royal, where she’s currently starring in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, looking a lot like a fabulous, vintage fashion show.
This outfit is a little more casual than some of her other efforts, but she dressed it up a little with the help of a short-sleeved brocade coat (pictured under the jump), which wouldn’t have provided much warmth, but which did provide a bit of additional eye-candy.
We’re not sure this really counts as a “new look”, but when we first spotted these photos we had to do a double-take to make sure that actually was Nicole Ritchie. Since she last appeared here at The Fashion Police, she’s gone for a much darker hair colour, which we think really suits her – we also love the gold mini dress, although we’d always urge caution with pieces like this, because in the wrong hands, it could end up looking like a long top, worn without pants.
Is that the case for Nicole here, or do you love her look?
With New Year fast approaching, we’re going to call time on 2009, and head off to prepare for a fabulously fashionable 2010! We’ll be back policing the world of fashion early in the New Year – for now we’d like to thank all of our readers for supporting us throughout 2009, and wish you all a wonderful new year, however you’re spending it.
See you on the other side!
New Year: for some, it’s one of the best nights of the year, while for others it’s …not.
Whatever you’re doing this New Year, though, we want to know what you’ll be wearing while you’re doing it. Where will you be as 2009 gives way to 2010? More importantly: what will you be wearing? Tell us in the comments, and you may pass through the Checkpoint unhindered!
For the past two years now, we’ve been running an end-of-year poll to find out what you thought was the biggest fashion crime of the year just gone – and both times, Crocs have been the clear winner.
Will they run (or rather, “waddle”) away with the title in 2009? Well, we actually think Crocs have been on the decline this year: they’re still high on our list of “fashion hates”, and always will be, but they seem to be less popular than they once were, which makes us wonder if it’s time to crown a new King of the Fashion Crimes?
What do you think? What was the biggest fashion crime in 2009? Vote in the poll below to let us know what you think. You’ll find a short description of each of the options under the jump.
(NOTE: You are NOT voting for the specific items shown in the image above – they’re there for illustration only!)
This Year’s Contenders, in no particular order:
They’ve won the title two years in a row, so even although their popularity appears to be on the wane, we thought it was only fair to include them this year.
Is that a diaper in your pants, or are you just being “bang on trend”, in one of this year’s most horrible fashions?
How we wish we could wake up to find that the re-emergence of shoulder pads had all been a dream, just like Bobby Ewing’s death, back when huge shoulders were LAST in vogue!
The bastard love child of jeans and leggings, and a huge hit in retail world. Lots of people loved them in 2009: but did you?
This was the year it became fashionable to dress in almost nothing. If you weren’t showing enough flesh to get yourself arrested, you just weren’t trying hard enough.
LADY GAGA-INSPIRED FASHION
Lady Gaga had a lot to answer for this year…
RIPPED AND TORN CLOTHES
If your clothes were in a reasonably good state of repair in 2009, you were, like, SO last year. Ripped jeans, shredding leggings, laddered tights, jackets without elbows – you name it, it got ripped to shreds.
It never really goes away, but this year it was back with a vengeance.
ACID WASH DENIM
We could’ve picked almost any aspect of the 80’s fashion revival here, but we choose acid wash denim because it showed up on some of the most hideous items of the year, sometimes making us want to rip our eyeballs out in horror.
The wildcard category! Our poll only allows us to nominate ten items, so if there’s something we’ve missed that you think was worse than all of the choices mentioned, choose this option and tell us in the comments what you’re nominating!
Well, folks, it’s official: it’s no longer enough for all of your other clothes to be ripped to shreds this season, now even your socks have to look like they’ve spent 20 years lurking at the back of a drawer, before being chewed vigorously by the dog.
Rather than just wear an ACTUAL old, tattered pair of socks, it’s also necessary to buy a brand, spanking new pair, that have been made to LOOK old and tattered. Because that makes sense, totally.
In the defence of Free People, who are selling these socks, they are only charging $10.86 for these (Comme des Garcons would probably charge ten times that), but even so, would you pay to look like your socks are in need of a good darning/ditching? If so, you can buy them here.
These, readers, are “onion heels”, apparently – although some of the readers at Shoeperwoman suggested “goiter heels” may be a more appropriate term for them.
We’ll let you be the judge of that, but tell us: what do you think of them? We think the disproportionate heel on a boring black court shoe looks like some kind of strange experiment gone badly wrong, but if you disagree and think these are the best thing since… onions… they’re £220 from Far Fetch.
Every so often, a “fashion crime” comes along that makes us think, “Wow! We really hope this catches on, purely for the humour value in seeing everyone walk around wearing it!”
Topshop’s pointy hood hat is one of those items. Just imagine the sight of a street full of people, all wearing tall, pointed bishop’s hats, and perhaps looking a little bit like they might have tall, pointy heads underneath. Awesome.
If you want to join in the fun, these are £16 from Topshop.
We apologise for any burning caused to your retinas during viewing of this dress. We were still seeing the pattern a few hours after we looked away from it, so we feel your pain.
Nevertheless, we feel the existence of this dress teaches us all an important lesson about colour mixing and how not to do it. It could be summed up as “Orange and green should not be seen, without a….” Actually, no: they just shouldn’t be seen. Ever. Especially when they’re fluorescent orange and lime green.
If you disagree, however, this dress is $500 and you can buy it here.
At first we thought it was just an ugly jacket. Then we took a closer look:
Ah. Well, on the plus side, at least you won’t need a handbag. On account of how there are two of them attached to your jacket. It also goes some way towards explaining the £475 price tag. Value for money, you see!
Available at Yoox.com, but only if you’re a UK size 8.
This item was apprehended at Zappos by Style Bargain Hunter, who points out that it’s not a shirt, not even a NIGHTshirt. Nope, it’s a dress, and is designed to be worn “as is”, for that “Look, I just threw on my boyfriend’s shirt and I still look fabulous!” look. It’s a hard look to pull off – most people who try just end up looking like the fire alarm went off while they were in the middle of getting dressed – but do you think you could do it? If so, it’s £265 here. Or, of course, an ACTUAL nightshirt will give you a similar look, only much cheaper…
There’s just two sleeps left to go until Christmas Day, which means it’s time for us to down tools and take a few days off to enjoy the holiday. We just wanted to take this opportunity to wish all of our readers a happy holiday – and don’t worry, we’ll be back to police the world of fashion in a few days time!
The Fashion Police x
Every day (with the exception of the couple of brief hiatuses we’ve had this year), The Fashion Police bring your our Dress of the Day selection. Some dresses you’ve loved, some you’ve hated – and some you’ve wanted to see us publicly executed over. But of all these dresses, we think it’s time we picked a leader. A Queen. One dress to rule them all, if you will. And so today we ask you to place your vote and help us decide on the Dress of the Year 2009.
There was no easy way to select the dresses on the shortlist. In the end, we simply picked the dresses that seemed to get the best reaction when they were first posted, although obviously this isn’t an exact science, as not everyone comments/retweets (and a lot of comments were lost during the Black Friday crash), so we hope you’ll forgive us if your personal favourite isn’t included.
You’ll find larger pictures of all of the dresses under the jump – cast your vote in the poll below and help us decide on the Dress of the Year!
Silk-blend asymmetric dress by La Petite S*****
We’re so glad this dress exists. No, seriously: how many times has your whole body felt freezing cold… with the exception of your inner elbows? HOW MANY TIMES, readers?
If you do happen to suffer from this… unusual… problem, this dress provides the solution, and costs $455 from Creatures of Comfort.
Ah, Jean Charles De Castelbajac! By now we’re used to his weird and (debatably) wonderful forays into the world of animals-as-clothing, but it would still be remiss of us not to bring your attention to these latest examples of his craft. Some designers just use leopard print, you see, but JCdC, he uses the whole leopard – or its head, at least.
In a Wear or Die type of situation we’d probably go with the dress, but all the same, we’re glad we don’t have to choose. If you, on the other hand, would find the choice a pleasant one, you can find both of these at Colette, where they retail for around £600 each.
What’s worse than a pair of harem pants?
A pair of harem pants in a colour not too far removed from the shade of some people’s skin.
Because, that way you won’t just look like you’re wearing a particularly ugly pair of pants. No, you’ll look like your wearing a particularly ugly pair of LEGS: ones with the flesh hanging loosely around your knees, and a strangely deformed groin area.