Crime Fighting Advice


Rachel McAdams in a green one-shouldered dress

The Cold Shoulder: Rachel McAdams at the ‘To the Wonder’ premiere

We want to love this, we really do. Well, we have a bit of a soft spot for Rachel McAdams AND for the colour green, so the combination of the two should be a sure-fire winner, right? But… the shoulder. The cold shoulder. We’ve never really learned to love the one-sleeved look on a dress (or a top, for that matter), because it always seems to leave the outfit looking unbalanced somehow, like poor Rachel jammed her sleeve in the car door on the way to the premiere, and no option but to just rip it right off, leaving one arm bare. On the other hand (or arm, rather), this dress has a nice dose of drama to it, and…


Crime of Fashion: The Wildcat Dress

< Hands up! This is a Fashion Police bust! Or, on second thoughts: HANDS DOWN. Because if you put your hands up in this dress, we’ll have to arrest you on two counts: 1. Wearing an astonishingly ugly dress. With a cheetah on it. 2. Showing us all your underwear. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered the fashion mystery that is the dress with its sleeves attached to its hem, of course, but we’re no further forward in our quest to understand why anyone would want to walk around with their hands attached to their dress all day. Sure, it creates an interesting shape, but what if you need to reach for something on a high shelf? Or wave…

hairy shoes

These shoes need a haircut…

It’s not every day you can pop into the salon and ask your stylist if she’d mind giving your shoes a quick tidy-up as well as your hair, is it? We reckon that if the hair on your shoes is long enough to tempt you to give it a quick going-over with the ol’ curling iron, it’s probably a good sign that you’re committing a crime of fashion. Actually, scratch that: let’s just say that when you have hair on your shoes, THAT’S a good sign in itself that you’re probably committing a crime of fashion. Agreed? [Buy them]

Emma Watson at The Perks of Being a Wallflower LA premiere

Emma Watson is pale and interesting at The Perks of Being a Wallflower LA premiere

Never mind The Perks of Being a Wallflower, there were definitely some perks for the onlookers at last night’s movie premiere when Emma Watson’s flimsy dress parted company from her Hollywood tape, leaving her looking a little less like a wallflower than she’d perhaps expected. That aside, Emma went for a “pale and interesting” look in a floor-length gown devoid of accessories, and worn with simple, slicked-back hair and a slash of red lipstick. Innocent or guilty? 

ASOS Full Skirt with Sequin Knickers

ASOS Full Skirt with Sequin Knickers commits multiple fashion offences

We were about to call this in as a straightforward case of “Emperor’s New Skirt”… but then we realised the skirt is actually attached to the knickers. The sequin knickers. Which are really the whole point of this outfit, rendering the “skirt” totally redundant: NO, ASOS, adding an invisible skirt over the top of a pair of knickers doesn’t suddenly make it OK to go out in a pair of undies, sequin or otherwise, seriously. So, what we’re dealing with here is actually multiple misdemeandors: 1. A Stuck-Together-Clothes Crime 2. A bad case of Emperor’s New Clothes 3. An item of clothing which encourages the idea that it’s OK to wear underwear in public. (Because even if you’re OK with sequin knickers,…

Crimes of Fashion

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