Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

When socks and boots collide: Dolce & Gabbana’s Over-The-Knee Wool Sock Boots

Socks Pretending to be Boots

Is it a sock? Is it a boot? Is it… Superman?

It’s both, readers! (Note: sock and boot, we mean. Not superman. It’s not that good.) These are Dolce & Gabbana’s over-the-knee-wool-sock-boots, and obviously this is a clear-cut case of Impostor Footwear. We could throw the book at them for this, if we wanted to.

Why is this different from all of the other cases of socks-pretending-to-be-boots we’ve apprehended over the years, though? Because this time – and we can hardly bear to type this – this time we don’t hate them. We have no idea why. We should hate them. We’ve hated all of the Footwear Impostors that have come before them, and we’ve often spoken of our belief that an item of clothing should be exactly what it looks like, with no attempt to deceive. But… we don’t know. We wouldn’t say we particularly love these, either, but maybe we’ve become so used to seeing socks pretending to be boots that we’ve gotten used to it, even started to see it as – gasp! – normal.

Either that or we’ve been sniffing the eyeball bleach again.

What do YOU think of these?

(Click here to buy them at Saks.)

Crimes of Fashion, Shirts & Tops

Maison Martin Margiela t-shirt with fur detail

Oh, for the love of Gaga… Do we REALLY have to have fur on EVERYTHING at the moment? Do we, Maison Martin Margiela, and every other brand that can’t seem to get through a collection right now without the totally gratuitous use of some dead animal? Do t-shirts really NEED to have “fur detail”? We’re going to go with “no” on that one, and while the goat-hair pads on this shirt are removable, meaning you can also have a totally ordinary looking £435 t-shirt if you want, that doesn’t really make it a whole lot better, does it?

At least we can agree with Browns Fashion on one thing, though. They say this t-shirt “will have jaws dropping and heads turning”. Well, ya got that right, Browns. You definitely got that right…

(Click here to buy it)

Crimes of Fashion, Jeans

When denim goes bad: G-Star Dean Loose Tapered Jeans

G-Star Dean Loose Tapered Jeans

Oh dear. Where do we start? With the patched knees? The deliberate holes? Or the fact that, were it not for the dropped crotch, this would essentially be a contender for the stuck-together-clothes file: an artist’s impression of a denim mini skirt worn over sagging jeggings, perhaps?

There is frankly nothing right about these jeans. They are not flattering. They are not cutting edge. They are not sexy and could not be made to look so however you dressed them up. Their only saving grace is the fact that they could never produce the camel toe effect, however hard they tried!

To rub salt into the wounds, they weigh in at a hefty £119. Not hefty for a classic denim number, perhaps, but rather costly for something already boasting holes and saggy knees!

Available from G-Star at ASOS.

Shoes

Style on Trial: Idol studded wedges at New Look

New Look Idol studded wedgeWe have nothing against wedges.  Or studs.  Or the lovely blue colour of these shoes for that matter.  But put them all together, add some thick straps and suddenly we’re not so sure.   These wedges by Idol for New Look were initially available in blue and black, but it looks like the black is now completely sold out.  The blue is showing Low Stock in all but one size so someone must be buying them.  Is it you?  What do you think of these shoes?

If you do like them and want to purchase one of the remaining few pairs, you can do so here for £30.

Style On Trial, Trousers/Pants

Style on Trial: Snake print leggings from Topshop

Hey, everyone! Want your legs to look like a couple of reptiles! Topshop is here to help you do just that, with their snake-print leggings, £22.

On the plus side, you know all those people who have phobias about snakes? Just think of the fun you can have with them. On the minus side, however: well, to be honest, it’s pretty much ALL a minus side as far as we’re concerned, and we say that as people who don’t even have a particular problem with snakes: just with these leggings.

What about you, though? Yay or Nay to the snake-print leggings?

(Click here to buy them)

Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Kilt-leg trousers by Jean Paul Gaultier and Marc Jacobs

"That's right, they're half-kilt, half-pants. SO?"

The kilt trend has only just started, and already it’s getting totally out of hand. We knew we should’ve tried to put a stop to this last week, when we first addressed the issue of the kilt in fashion! We decided to let the designers run with it for a while, though, and, well, LESSON LEARNED. Because you give them some pleated fabric, and this is what they come up with, folks: a bizarre half-kilt, half-pant hybrid. For those times when you… no, you’re right, there IS no time when you’d need that, is there?

Oh, and boys? If you were feeling left out by Jean Paul Gaultier’s kilt-leg pants, don’t: Marc Jacobs has got you covered:

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Fashion Police Glossary

Fashion Police Glossary: The Foot Snatcher

The Foot Snatcher is a dangerous fashion criminal who gets his (or possibly her) kicks from depriving other people of theirs: in other words, the Foot Snatcher steals feet, so run, don’t walk – if you still can, that is!

Poor Kelly Clarkson, above, was a victim of the Foot Snatcher back in May 2009. As you can see, the Snatcher showed no mercy here and left Kelly’s pants trailing inches beyond where her feet would be, if she actually had any. It’s amazing she didn’t trip over those things!

The Foot Snatcher prefers to target celebrities, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can consider ourselves safe:

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Fashion Police

Leopard Alert: ASOS bandeau leopard jumpsuit

It’s a boob tube and leggings stuck together.  In leopard print.  What else do we need to say?

We can’t understand who would wear this and in what situation.  Even the model doesn’t look too happy, does she?  It is sold out in a size 6 and 8 so someone must be buying it.  Is it you?  (If it is you, please let us know where on earth you plan to wear this.)  ASOS have put a leather jacket over it on their site and believe us, that doesn’t help it at all.

Had this been two separate items (leggings and a bandeau top), we wouldn’t have had any issue with them.  Separately though.  We just feel that this is a little too much leopard print to take in one go.

If you want to buy this it is £30 at ASOS.

Outerwear

Get the oven-ready look: Isabel Marant Gunay Jacket

isabel marant gunay jacket

Does anyone else recall Babylon Zoo, that one-hit-wonder band of the 90s made popular by that iconic Levi’s jeans commercial?

Spaceman, I always wanted you to go into space, man (Intergalactic Christ…)

With that look in mind tell us, could you really see yourself wearing this jacket out and about this winter?

Astronaut jokes aside, is the bacofoil look ever really a good one? We mean, there’s no denying that, without the sleeves, this jacket would look suspiciously like a new-fangled kitchen gadget for the cooking and warming of baked potatoes – in fact, we wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised to see it turn up on an episode of Dragon’s Den!

But maybe you could see the spud look working for you? If so you can pick it up from My Theresa for €498,00.

Handbags

Handbag of the Week: Leather pushlock bag from Topshop

We couldn’t decide which colour we liked best, so we’re showing you Topshop’s leather pushlock bag in both tan and navy, and noting that it’s also available in burgundy, just to make the decision even harder.

Now, this isn’t going to be the most exciting bag you see all month, but it has that expensive, could-be-designer look about it, which tells us it’s probably going to last forever, and accompany you just about everywhere. It’s also large enough to be useful (nothing worse than a pretty bag which forces you to carry another bag along with it, just to hold all your stuff), and has both a shoulder strap and handles, for versatility.

At £96, it’s on the expensive side of the high street price range, but we reckon it’ll deliver value for money. If you agree, click here to order it from Topshop.

Style On Trial

Dressing gown chic: Sonia Rykiel cashmere-blend long-length cardigan

In fairness this is not actually nightwear. It is a cosy, warm cashmere cardigan, ideal for chilly winter days. But you can’t deny that it looks more than a little like the kind of cosy you’d snuggle into after a relaxing bath rather than the kind you’d wear out shopping on a Saturday – because it looks undeniably like a dressing gown!

Being cashmere blend, of course, it comes in at cashmere cost – £1,565, should you have such readies lying around to spend on post-bathing luxury. Or, should you fancy hitting the high street in something that might be mistaken for your robe. And which, as such, might see you barred from your local Tesco

Sonia Rykiel cashmere-blend long-length cardigan, £1,565 from Net-a-Porter.

 

Fashion Trends, Skirts

Fashion Trends for Fall 2010: Kilts

Clockwise, from centre: Pink Vivienne Westwood kilt; Christopher Kane buckled wool kilt; Comme des Garcons black pleated kilt; Burberry long wool skirt kilt;  Warehouse cut-about kilt; Burberry mini kilt; Burberry heart kilt;

The kilt is making a comeback this winter, apparently.

And just like that, it’s 1995 all over again, and we’re all dressing up like Cher in Clueless, in our little mini kilts and our knee socks! Well, OK, not quite: this season’s kilt isn’t quite as mini as Cher’s was (although as you can see from the image above, the mini kilt is still around). In fact, this season’s kilt comes in a range of different guises: some are short, some are long; some are plaid, some are plain; some are purple, some are bright pink – you get the picture. All, however, share that distinctive pleated detail that makes a kilt a kilt, and while most of the examples above come from designer brands, fear not, the high street won’t be far behind, and many of our favourite retailers are including kilts as part of their Autumn/Winter collections.

Round these parts, kilts are still an integral part of many a school uniform, so we struggle not to associate them with schoolgirls, or with those drunken relatives you always see at weddings (pretty much the only place you’ll see a real kilt worn in Scotland these days), but kilts do tend to come in and out of fashion, and if this winter is going to be one of those times when they’re back in, well, we’re going to need to know what you all think of them, so hit up the comments box and give us your thoughts!

Yay or Nay to kilts?

 

Fashion Police

Carrot/Karat: Solange Azagury-Partridge’s carrot ring gives new meaning to ’18 karat gold’

It’s 18 karat gold, and it’s also a bunch of carrots. Geddit?

It was mildly funny until we saw the £3,400 price tag, and then we were all, “Er, yeah, it’s not THAT funny…”

It must be that funny to some people, though, because it sold-out at Net-a-Porter almost as soon as it arrived there, meaning that if you want it, you’re going to have to add it to your wish list and hope more stock arrives soon.

Click here to do just that: but don’t forget to tell us what you think of it before you do!