Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Shress watch: Lionella guilty as charged

Lionella purple lace dressSo we paid our old friends Lionella a visit, you know, just to check up on them, and we were alarmed at what we found.  Yes, they are now stocking a shress.  Lionella call this ‘sexy, elegant and enticing’, but you dear reader know better of course, don’t you.  Insert your own description of this dress in the comments.

If you think we are totally wrong about this however, bail is set at just £36.36 (which should leave you plenty of cash to buy something to wear underneath it) and you can get the shress here.

Fashion Police

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Celebrity Fashion

What They Wore: The Fashion Police’s Celebrity Fashion Roundup

Cheryl Cole

We were going to make this a “Best Dressed of the Week” post, but honestly, there were so few contenders for that title we figured we’d just give you a quick roundup of some celebrity fashion choices from the week just gone.

Enjoy the gallery, and have a great weekend!

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Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Shant Spotting: Shakuhachi Day Tripper drawstring pants

Shakuhachi Day Tripper drawstring pantOur initial thoughts upon seeing these Shakuhachi pants?  See through drawstring hammer pants.  Oh dear.

A week later and we look at them again?  Yep, pretty much the same reaction.  It’s the peep toe boots rule though isn’t it?  The pants didn’t stand a chance.

These pants are on pre-order and if you want to pay $220AUS for something that’s not really there (or may as well not be, for all the modesty they provide), then you can do that here.  But not if you wear anything larger than a UK12/US8 – they don’t make them any bigger than that.

Shoes, Wanted!

Schuh Porn: Green ‘Frenchie Butterfly’ court shoes

So, as we’ve noted before, these shoes are a complete rip-off of a style Dolce & Gabanna released a couple of seasons ago – or, at least, the black and white versions, which Schuh were selling last year, are.

We’re going to overlook it on this occasion, however, because…

… well, because lookit them. Green. Suede. Butterflies. We love them. We covet them. And one day, we just might buy them. Hopefully when they’re on sale, though.

If you don’t want to wait until then, you can click here to buy them right now, for £70.

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2011 – Jean-Paul Gaultier – Runway

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It’s the mother of all wardrobe malfunctions, folks!

Oh no, our mistake: it’s just the Jean Paul Gaultier show at Couture Fashion Week. Whew! You may laugh now, but mark our words, you’ll all be wearing this kind of thing soon. In other news, hair is spiky, bags are even spikier, and models are smokin’. No, we mean that literally.

Also, if someone could send us the stripey dress, we’d be much obliged…

Take a look at the gallery, and tell us what you think!

Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Strange Shoes: Melissa Gaetano Pesce Flat Boots

We’re all used to Melissa’s plastic shoes by now, and we’re actually rather fond of some of them (step forward, the Lady Dragon line, by Vivienne Westwood), so we thought we were totally over the “OMG PLASTIC SHOES!” reflex that seems to kick in for many people when presented with the sight of a pair of Melissas. (And yes, we know, they smell like bubblegum. And yes, they’re plastic. We don’t care, though, as long as they’re cute…)

Apparently not, though, because these Melissa Gaetano Pesce Flat Boots still had the power to make us stop in our tracks and try to imagine how on earth we’d wear them, and what with. We’re totdally drawing a blank on that one, though, so if you have some ideas, feel free to tell us all about them. Meanwhile, what we can tell you is that these are £78, they’re available at ASOS (click here to buy a pair), and they come with either a shiny black upper, or a totally clear one, which you should be able to view your slightly-distorted-thanks-to-the-bubbles feet through.

What you think of them?


Style on Trial: Jimmy Choo Multimedia cork wedges

Jimmy Choo Multimedia cork wedge sandalIt may only be January, but already the new season designs are starting to filter through and that includes footwear that is not at all appropriate for this time of year.  However, that doesn’t stop us looking and planning ahead, and when we saw these Jimmy Choo wedges we were curious to know what you would think of them.  Is there too much going on here (we think there might be) – leopard print, cork, a double layered wedge, tassels, snakeskin, plaited leather?  Could you get on board with all of this in one shoe, or would you prefer just one or two features from this list at a time?

If you like them, and would be willing to pay $1,095 for them, you can buy them at Neiman Marcus.

Fashion Police

Wanted! 50s-style cat’s eye sunglasses from ASOS

Here at TFP we’re obsessed with all things 50s, and, handily enough, the fashion world is going through a flirtation with that era too at that moment, which makes it all the easier for us to stock up on pretty little things like these cat’s eye sunglasses, which are £12 at ASOS.

They’re probably not going to be the easiest style to wear, and could end up looking a little too “costume party” in the wrong hands, but… did we mention they’re only £12? And retro-fabulous, dahlinks? Well, they are. Click here to buy them – but leave some for us!

Shoes, Wanted!

Shoe Porn: Red Polka dot court shoes from Next

“Porn” is possibly the wrong choice of words for these polka dot shoes, because they’re definitely more sweet than sexy, but when Shoeperwoman spotted them earlier this month, we knew we’d have to take them into our safe keeping: well, we wouldn’t want anyone being corrupted by them, would we?

These are a lethal combination of all the things The Fashion Police love in the footwear world: the bow, the polka dot, the red heel… and surprisingly enough, for once they’re not ridiculously priced, at just £35 – amazing.

(Click here to buy them)


Boots pretending to be shoes (and socks): Kurt Geiger Williamsburg boots

Kurt Geiger Williamsburg bootsIt’s been a while since we had to arrest a pair of boots for so brazenly disguising themselves and shoes.  It was the chunky ‘socks’ that gave it away here.  Let’s face it, they look nothing like boot uppers, do they?  Sadly there are still plenty of examples of this sort of thing around, but this pair is particularly offensive to our sensibilities because they are, well, ugly.  The chunky sole and the thick sock makes them look like something Victoria Beckham would go hiking in.

What do you think though?  Do you like this style of boot?  Do you think it’s acceptable for them to pretend to be shoes?  You can buy these for £95.20 (down from a whopping £390) at House of Fraser.

Fashion Police

Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2011 – Alexis Mabille – Runway

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What better way to round off a Tuesday afternoon than with some haute couture?

These images are from the Alexis Mabille show, which reminded us of some of the bizarre rituals our prisoners get up to in the Fashion Police jail from time to time, only with nicer dresses. Enjoy the gallery, and don’t forget to tell us what you think!

Lingerie, Wanted!

Denim lingerie? Er, yes please!

Here at The Fashion Police, we’ve always been of the opinion that denim is best kept for jeans only: and, OK, maybe the odd jacket or two, if we’re feeling in a Blossom kinda mood.

We’ve also always been kinda fickle, though, and this month we’re surprised to admit that Topshop have managed to turn us around on the issue of denim lingerie, although admittedly they’re at an advantage here, because we believe this to be more denim coloured, rather than the kind of fabric your jeans are made of.

Still, we’re not sure if it’s the polka dots, or the ruffles, or if we’ve maybe just been denim-lingerie-lovers all along, but this little set triggered our “cute” reflex. If it did the same for you, just click here to buy it…


Peep toe boots: the stonewash denim version

Stuart Weitzman Boho bootieThis is the Boho bootie by Stuart Weitzman.  Yes it is made of stonewash denim.  Yes it has a peep toe.  Now it was always going to be just a matter of time before we caught up with this for its peep toe boot crimes, but really?  A shoe made of stonewash denim?  We don’t know about you, but we feel that denim and shoes is not something that ever mixes well and produces a favourable outcome.  Look at the example above if you don’t believe us.

Do you agree though?  Are denim booties (albeit peep toe ones) just the thing your spring wardrobe is missing?  If it is, you can buy this pair for $385 at Zappos.

Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Taking camel toe to the next level

camel suedette fringe leggingsSo, you’ve got the black fringed leggings. You’ve worn the rainbow fringed leggings to death, and the tie-dye fringed leggings are getting baggy around the knees. Where do you go from here?

Its just so obvious: you go suedette. And camel. Because the camel toe just isn’t as effective in black as it is in camel, right?

Someone out there must be buying these, as Topshop keep on flogging the same dead, ummm, camel? Oh, and they’re almost sold out!

Buy them here for £28.