Fashion Police, Shoes, Wanted!

Shoe Porn: Rupert Sanderson 140MM patent tri-colored open toe pumps

Shoe Porn in its purest, most dangerous form, readers. We’re going to be taking these Rupert Sanderson peep toes into custody, lest you be corrupted by them. If you’re already corrupted by shoes, however, you’ll find some more images below. View at your own discretion…

(Click here to buy them)

Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Kettle Black ‘His Pants’ with attached thermal leggings

You know what sucks, readers? When it’s absolutely freezing outside, but you really, really want to wear your knee-length khaki pants, and absolutely nothing else in your wardrobe will do. Seriously, what’s a girl to do?

Well, D’UH! You would wear them with a pair of white thermal leggings underneath, obviously! Because that wouldn’t look odd, or detract from the appearance of the shorts AT ALL, would it?

Seriously, though, in the world of the Fashion Victim, there’s only one thing better than a pair of shorts worn with thermals underneath them (Edgy! Directional! Unexpected!), and that’s a pair of shorts with thermal leggings ATTACHED to them.

We couldn’t make this stuff up, could we?

These are by Kettle Black are they’re down to just $47.50 at Shopbop, and sold out in everything except size 31, so somewhere in the world, there are people walking around who can’t separate their shorts from their long johns. If you’d like to join that exclusive clique, click here.


Modelling is Hard: Sonia by Sonia Rykiel edition

Sonia by Sonia Rykiel dungarees at ASOSThis model is not happy.  Not only has she had to suffer the indignity of being forced into a pair of dungarees, but these are half denim, half silk dungarees.  The model’s face may say “You’re kidding, right?” to the front view, but wait until she catches a glimpse of the back view…

Sonia by Sonia Rykiel dungarees at ASOS back viewYou can buy these for £330 at ASOS.

Crimes of Fashion

Ridiculous Runways: Fashion Police at London Fashion Week – Spring/Summer 2011

It’s London Fashion Week, folks! Time for a quick look at some upcoming fashion crimes which we’ll all have to be on our guards against this coming winter, but before we do, the usual disclaimer on runway fashion, for the benefit of any Fashion Victims who might read this:

Yeah, yeah, we know it’s ART. We know it’s a CONCEPT, and it’s omgfantastic, and that if we don’t like it then it must just be because “we don’t understaaaaand it!” Because it is DESIGNER, and as far as the Fashion Victims are concerned, if it’s DESIGNER then it must be good. But at the end of the day, they’re also clothes, and, well, some of them are just plain funny. And here they are!

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Fashion Trends, Knitwear

Fashion Trends: Doggie Style at Dorothy Perkins

Dog lovers of the world, rejoice: your pet pooch is going to be the very height of fashion this season – or at least, he will be at Dorothy Perkins, who’ve covered their new season knitwear with images of our furry friends.

The pieces shown above are all in the region of £30, and most are available in a couple of different colours. What do you think? Do you adore the doggies, or would you have to be barking mad to consider these? (Sorry, sorry…)

(Click here to buy them)

Style Stealer

Get the Look: Betty Draper’s capri pants

How cute are these Kenzo capri pants? Betty Draper would look adorable tottering around the pool in these, hair coiffed, kids at her heels, cocktail in hand… Unfortunately, Kenzo don’t come in cheap, and these babies will set you back a tidy £198.00 (from

On the other hand, these retro floral print capris from Warehouse offer the same look for a far more reasonable £45.00. All you need is a halter top and a martini to complete the look!

Or, if floral isn’t your vibe, you can always tap into the cool vibe beatnik look with classic black. These Love Label scalloped edge pants will take you neatly from office to evening, while the ASOS tailored capri trousers are ideal for a smart night out. And at £30 a piece, neither will require Don Draper’s salary to supplement them!

Crimes of Fashion, Skirts

Kaufmanfranco suede skirt: now with added bag

Is everyone else seeing a bag stuck to the front of this skirt?  Net-a-Porter are trying to pass it off as an ‘oversize pocket’ but you’re not fooled, are you readers?  Neither are the Fashion Police.

We suppose it could be useful for carrying a few necessities around, but do you really want to wear a skirt with a bum bag (fanny pack) attached to it?  And would you pay £1,455 for the privilege?  If you would, then you can buy it here.

Celebrity Fashion

Rogues Gallery: The Fashion Police’s Celebrity Fashion Rounup

It’s Friday, which means it’s time to stop what you’re doing and join the Fashion Police in taking a look back at the past week in celebrity fashion. And what a week it was: between the Grammys, the BRITS, the BAFTAs, New York Fashion Week, the Elle Style Awards and a slew of premieres and other events, we’ve had our work cut out for us when it comes to policing the world of fashion. We have, however, managed to round up the following suspects, who await your judgement. Are they fashion hits or fashion misses? You tell us…

Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

The pleated maxi dress: The Fashion Police’s old nemesis

Oh no. Not again. Please tell us our old nemesis the pleated maxi dress isn’t making a comeback? It is? Is it too late to leave the country, do you think?

Drab, shapeless, and flattering to no one we can think of, this dress is the stuff Fashion Police nightmares are made of, and yet it got a great reception on ASOS’s Facebook page, so perhaps we’re the only ones who think it would be an excellent way to convince people you’d joined a religious cult.

Are we the only ones? Did you squeal in delight at the sight of this dress? Well, far be it for us to deprive you of it, so you can click here to buy it, but before you do: enlighten us. Tell us why you love it and how you’d wear it. If you can convince us, we’ll be amazed…

Style Stealer, Trousers/Pants

Designer on a Budget: Spotty wide leg trousers

Well, would you look at that: Miu Miu include wide leg, polka dot pants in theor Resort 2011 collection, and the next thing you know, everyone’s doing them. Well, New Look and Topshop are, anyway. If Miu Miu jumped in the fire, would you jump too, guys? Huh? HUH?

New Look have actually replicated the Miu Miu spot a little more little more literally than Topshop, who’ve gone for a small dot, and a wider leg, which almost leaves them looking like a maxi skirt. We’ve seen the New Look trews in store, and can confirm they’re nicer than they look in this image, although at first glance we did think, “Hey, why’ve they got pyjamas amongst the normal clothes?”, which may not be the reaction you’d be hoping for. (Or maybe it would, of course. Would they pass the “Tesco Test“, though, we wonder?)

What do you think? Could you make these work, or would they leave you feeling like an off-duty clown? Click here to buy the New Look pair, and here for the Topshop versions, if so?


Shoe Porn: Louboutin over the knee boots in purple suede

Christian Louboutin suede over the knee boot purpleWe are rather partial to an over the knee boot here at Fashion Police HQ, and even more so if Mr Louboutin has had a hand in making it.  These are in a gorgeous purple suede and have a lovely rounded toe – the perfect winter boots?  Sadly these are not destined to become ours, given that the price tag is a whopping £1293.81, but if you can afford them they are available from Saks Fifth Avenue.


Questionable crotches: Miss Selfridge charcoal crochet belt trouser

Ok, just for once let’s skip over the impracticalities of a crochet belt, the thigh-widening pockets and the elasticated ankles, and cut straight to the “crotch” of the matter (*groan* – pun entirely intended!). Because we’re just wonderin’, who exactly looks at a pair of trousers like these and thinks “Oh, yeah, the ‘wet myself’ look – I’m all about that this season!”

If loss of bladder control is your thing, you can pick these up from Miss Selfridge for £35.00.

Fashion Police

Marc Jacobs Fall 2011 Runway


Polka dots! By now you all know of The Fashion Police’s fondness for this particular print, so we were pleased to see Marc Jacobs provide us with plenty of it in his Fall 2011 collection. We’re just not sure about the decision to use it on a strange, pyjama suit. Hmm.

As for the collection itself, however, well, we see some hits and some misses: pretty typical MJ, then. What do you think?