Well, this is… interesting. And here were we thinking that the denim disasters we’ve been documenting lately were probably as bad as it was going to get this season: just shows what WE know, huh?
Rather than going straight for the most obvious crime here, let’s take a look at the circumstantial evidence first:
The odd length, which looks more, “I outgrew these jeans two years ago, and just can’t afford to replace them,” than it does, “I’m totally rocking the cropped flare trend!”
Then there’s the “Just like your mother used to iron them for you,” knife-edge crease down the front of each leg.
The high waist – not a crime in itself, necessarily, but definitely starting to raise suspicion when paired with the “mom jean” legs and stonewash shading.
All of this would make these jeans pretty suss as far as The Fashion Police are concerned, but then there’s THAT cut-out. The one that starts just above the hip bone and then circles round the body, leaving the poor jeans desperately hanging on by a belt loop. Even if these were the most stylish pair of denim in all the land, that cut-out section would be a definite deal-breaker, but, of course, if you’ve secretly always wanted to show off that particular section of your torso, you may well simply be wondering where these jeans have been all your life?
On the plus side, though, at least they make these look pretty good in comparison:
OK, OK, no they don’t: we’re not actually sure ANYTHING would make these OK, to be perfectly honest, but that’s just us, and we like to ruin our clothes ourselves, rather than pay almost $600 – for yes, folks, this is a pair of SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR jeans you’re looking at – for a pair that someone else has destroyed for us. You?