When Maxi Dresses Go Wrong

The maxi dress. It’s a summer staple for many people: throw one on with a pair of sandals and a floppy sunhat, and you’re all set for a day by the pool, a trip to the beach, a leisurely day’s sightseeing… you can fill in the rest of this list yourself, we’re sure. Not only is the maxi dress a lightweight alternative to shorts, sundresses or all of those other summer options, it can also be very forgiving to the figure: unless, of course, it looks like this:

black maxi dress with knickers

Black maxi dress, $24

We have a grudging respect for this dress. It’s just so unapologetic, isn’t it? The girl who wears this dress isn’t going to fuss around, adding silly layers of see-through fabric to present the illusion of a “modesty” we all know doesn’t exist in a dress like this: this girl just wants to go out in her knickers. And she’s GONNA. You have to admire that single-minded determination to have your knickers on show at all costs. Er, don’t you?

This girl, meanwhile, ALSO wanted to go out in just her knickers:

black maxi dress

[Buy it here for $36 ]

Her dad wouldn’t let her, though, so she had to get creative. When she faced up to the parents, on her way out of the house, she looked demure and elegant, without so much as a visible pantie line. She was business in the front, for sure. When she turned around, though…

business  in the front, party in the back

… that dress was definitely aaaaallll party in the back. And what a party it was, too!

They both, however, felt themselves to be better dressed than THIS girl:

mesh maxi dress

Open Relationship mesh maxi dress, $29

Because that’s just silly, now, isn’t it?

What do you think, Style Sleuths? Do these dresses belong in Fashion Police jail, or would you like us to set them free, without charge?




  • July 22, 2014


    Yes, arrest them. That said, I have a grudging (envious?) admiration for a woman with a body who can wear something like this. And I have a question: Do people actually wear maxi dresses? I never have seen any on the street and I live in Northern California. I never wear them, but then that is because I am terminally clumsy. I nearly killed myself at work when I ran the wheels of my desk chair over the skirt and tipped myself, chair and all, onto the floor! Then there was the time when I got out of the car, stepped on the skirt and fell flat on my face. Pass for me!

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  • July 23, 2014

    Karen Shannon

    Oh WOW! I love to wear maxi dresses but I don’t have the guts to try these collection of yours. I used to love the second dress, but was shock of it’s back! Woah! Total sexiness!

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  • July 24, 2014


    At least they aren’t charging a lot for so little fabric. At least.

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  • July 24, 2014


    The mesh one might look nice with some actual clothing underneath, for a bit of a punk/glam mashup, but it’s not a look I would go with regularly

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  • July 25, 2014

    Charlotte Boyer

    ARREST THEM IMMEDIATELY!! They are a blemish on good society’s clothing standards!!


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  • July 25, 2014


    Why do these need to exist?? Aaaah it’s a nightmare

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    • July 28, 2014


      Well, varicose veins DO start at the back of your knees, if it happens to you, wear dress no. 1. If your knees start lo look a bit wrinkly around the kneecaps, go for number 2. And dress number 3 is actually from a Brothers Grimm fairytale, where a woman, in order to free her unjustly arrested husband, had to appear before the king dressed and not dressed at hte same time. She wore a net.

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  • September 4, 2014


    The first one actually is nice for a beach party. The other two, though, are much better suited for frivolous activities with your loved one.

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