“Wow,” we though, flicking through the dresses section over at Bergdorf Goodman. “Would you lookit that! This dress looks EXACTLY like a Spanx slip! And God knows, those aren’t exactly cheap either (although, let’s face it, there are less expensive versions around), but hey, at least they’re not $475!”
This Roland Mouret slip - we beg your pardon, underpinning – is, though. Which makes us wonder: why? What is it about THIS slip that makes it worth almost $500? Is it made of magic? Does it turn you into Heidi Klum? What does it do that Spanx doesn’t? Because surely it can’t just be that it has the name “Roland Mouret” stamped on the label? Please someone: tell us that’s not it?
Serious question, then, because we’ve never had the opportunity to wear a 4475 underpinning, so we know nothing about these things: is a designer slip that much better than a regular one? Is it worth spending that much on one? Anyone?
We’ve heard of waiting lists for handbags and shoes, but a waiting list for a BRA? Yes, 1,600 people joined the pre-launch waiting list for Marks & Spencer’s 2 Sizes Bigger Push Up Bra, but that was just the tip of the iceberg, because since it went on sale last weekend, the bra has been selling so fast M&S predict it’ll have sold out completely by this Saturday.
As the name suggests, the bra is designed to make you look, er, two sizes bigger. It does this using a super-light foam which is half the weight of traditional gel pads, and also has straps that can be crossed at the back to give the girls even more of a lift.
And that’s not all. According to the press release on this, the bra “is literally flying off the racks”. Literally? This we have to see: seriously, two sizes bigger is all well and good, but a bra that can FLY? Awesome.
The bra costs £20, comes in black, fuchsia and grey, and can be purchased online here. If you do miss out, however, don’t worry: more stock will arrive in September, and will include white, leopard and zebra print versions.
We’re telling you, kids, anything goes these days in the world of fashion. Seriously, not only can you now wear your pubic hair ON TOP OF your knickers, you can also apparently wear your knickers on top of your tights.
As if the harem pant weren’t controversial enough, Alexander Wang has taken it a step further making it sheer. These chiffon lingerie pants, $450, are a bit confusing. The subtle paper-bag waist, slouchy silhouette and not-too-baggy harem-ness of the pants actually start to convince us that the style is actually rather chic. We can see an old Hollywood screen siren wearing them to bed – as actual lingerie, as the name implies.
But the problem is that people will definitely wear them out in public. Does that become a problem? The opaque boxer-short-like lining bothers us. We understand why it’s there, dear God some modesty is in order. But still…it looks weird, no?
We were speechless too when we saw this on the River Island website. This appears to be a black lace lingerie set, held together with a section of black mesh. Whilst we have just about got our heads around the return of the bodysuit for this season, we cannot understand why such a garment as this should exist at all.
It is listed on the website as a going out top but we would really rather it was in the underwear section, if it has to appear on there at all. We can’t help but wonder just who would wear this when Lady Gaga will wear this, and in what situation? We will attempt to get to the bottom of that mystery but in the meantime, if you want to channel Gaga, you can buy it here for £19.99.
We WERE going to make this the Ugly Harem Pant of the Day (joke!), but we know a lot of you are actually quite fond of the Dress Like a Toddler trend, when it’s applied to items of clothing designed to be worn in the privacy of your own home, so all we’re going to say about these Care Bear suits is that they exist, they’re $85.47 and they’re available from ASOS. And that we somehow don’t think this guy’s getting lucky if he wears this to bed tonight…
Like to wear your pyjamas in public? Tired of people looking at you like … well, like you just crawled out of bed? Don’t worry, folks, there is a solution, and it’s brought to you by the kind people at Pajamagram: introducing the PajamaJean!
These are exactly what they sound like: fleece-lined pj-bottoms that are designed to look like jeans, and yes, they were actually developed in order to cater to the needs of the growing number of “Pyjama People” who can be seen wandering around wearing the same clothes they slept in.
A good idea? Well, the company claim the product has been flying off their shelves, so obviously a lot of people think so. Will it just encourage the idea that there’s no need to get dressed in the morning, though? Time will tell on that one: if you’d like to buy yourself a pair of these, though, they retail for $59.95 and are available here. At least they look better than the Snuggie!
We all know she loves Alexander McQueen and Martin Margiela, but did you know Lady Gaga ALSO shops at Bed, Bath & Beyond? No, neither did we, but Kymaro, makers of the flesh-coloured body shaper you see above, claim it’s their product Her Ladyship has been wearing on stage recently, not some pricey designer number. Isn’t it good to know that Gaga is secretly as frugal and down to earth as the rest of us, even although she DOES use shapewear as pants?
The Kymaro Body Shaper (As Seen on TV!) retails for $29.99 at the aforementioned Bed, Bath & Beyond, and you can see an infomercial about it here. One thing, though: if you do decide to make like Gaga and buy yourself one of these, remember, SHAPEWEAR IS NOT PANTS. Lordy, our list of Things That Are Not Pants gets longer by the day…
