Lingerie

      valentines-lingerie-sets

      Top 10 | Valentine’s Day Lingerie Sets

      Top Ten Valentine’s Day Lingerie Sets We figured we should probably talk about Valentine’s Day. It’s just… we don’t really want to. Seriously: unless this is your first time on the internet (In which case, welcome, and don’t look any further – this is the only site you’ll ever need…), we’re guessing you’ve probably had your fill of gift guides, flowers, and various red and/or pink things by now. We also have a sneaking suspicious that most of you probably don’t really care all that much – or, at least, not the extent that you’ve been anxiously counting down the days since Christmas, as all of the press releases we’ve been receiving lately would have us believe. (You haven’t, have…

      Fashion Police bra guide

      Underneath the LBD (And a chance to win a £1000 shopping spree with Ann Summers and Love2Shop)

      The Fashion Police have always believed that the right (or wrong) lingerie can make or break an outfit: there’s just no point in splashing out on the perfect dress if you’re going to ruin it with the wrong “underpinnings”, so today we’re teaming up with Ann Summers to bring you some of our favourite bras to wear with a little black dress as part of your Christmas party outfit. We’re also offering the chance to win a £1,000 shopping spree by entering Ann Summers’ blogger competition, so read on for more information…   ♥ The Dress: 1950s Trudy party dress, £95. 20th Century Foxy ♥ The Bra: ‘Aurelia’ balconette bra, £40, Ann Summers The cut of this dress makes finding a…

      VAlentine's day lingerie

      Screw Valentine’s Day: let’s buy some lingerie!

      Valentine’s Day lingerie from Dirty Pretty Things Valentine’s Day. There’s just no escaping it, is there? Every year, as soon as Christmas is over (and actually, sometimes even BEFORE Christmas is over…) The Fashion Police inbox starts to get flooded with press releases about Valentine’s Day, which, these helpful missives inform us, is “just around the corner!” Now that the much-anticipated day actually IS just around that corner, though, we figured we should probably start paying attention to those press releases, and find out just what it is they’re trying to tell us. And what they’re trying to tell us is basically this: 1. Everyone in the world is in a complete state of hysterical anticipation about February 14th 2….

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      Underwear as Outerwear: the Venus bustier

      This is the ‘Venus’ bustier. As you can see, they’re using the word “bustier” in its loosest possible sense, because, as far as we can make out, this is just an excuse to go out in public wearing just your bra. It’s a NICE bra, granted, but honestly, we’ve had nightmares which look a bit like this, and in which we’re walking around in public when we suddenly realise we’re only wearing clothes on one half of our bodies. We’re becoming increasingly convinced we’re alone in this, however, because “bra as top”, like “leggings as pants” and “net curtains as skirts” seems to be a growing trend: we frequently come across photos of models wearing outfits a lot like this…

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      Citizen’s Arrest: Lascivious Kasia Fringed Waistcoat

      Our thanks go to Fashion Police reader Caroline for calling in this particular crime of fashion. Now, ordinarily we don’t involve ourselves with lingerie. (Er, we’re assuming this is supposed to be lingerie. These days you can never really tell, though, can you?) After all, as long as people aren’t wearing it in public, it’s really none of our business. But… an invisible waistcoat? With fringes? And people are paying £119 (full price) or £59.50 (sale price) for it? In such large quantities that it’s now low in stock? Folks, it looks like we’ve worked out what The Emperor wears in private. So at least that’s one mystery solved. As to the mystery of who else might wear such an…

      YSL stretch-chiffon body suit

      Extreme sheer: YSL stretch-chiffon halterneck bodysuit

      We’re a-hoping and a-praying that this bodysuit will only ever be used for purpose: as an underpinning for a backless halterneck dress. But that little shred of doubt loiters in the back of our minds, knowing, as we do, that the Lady Gagas of this world have so little respect for fit-for-purpose fashion… Yves Saint Laurent certainly know how to relieve a fashionista of her hard-earned cash: this beauty will provide very little support a no coverage to speak of for the bargain price of £520. You’d have to wear your backless halterneck an awful lot this summer to justify that cost per spend! But yours from Net-a-Porter.

      Starstyling holograph leggings

      Daylight Robbery? Starstyling holograph leggings

      Is everyone else seeing a pair of fishnet tights with a few sequins stuck to them?  Good, so are we.  Topshop however, see £145 of leggings.  That’s right folks, £145!  And they’re calling them “leggings”.  Now repeat after us: leggings are not pants.  Fishnet anything are not leggings. But wait!  It gets worse!

      Norma Kamali lace bikini

      Style On Trial: Swimwear that looks like underwear

      So you’re languishing on the beach, and a girl walks past in her underwear.  Only she’s not in her underwear, she’s wearing a bikini by Norma Kamali that looks like underwear, but isn’t. We like the overall style of the bikini – the shape is so lovely and retro and we’d wear this as underwear in a flash.  Or as swimwear were it a solid fabric.  We’re just not sure we can get on board with the lace swimwear. What do you think of this concept (there’s a one piece costume available too)?  Would you wear swimwear that looks like you accidentally wore your lacy undies to the pool?  Or do you prefer your swimwear to look more like, well,…

      denim-lingerie-from-Topshop

      Denim lingerie? Er, yes please!

      Here at The Fashion Police, we’ve always been of the opinion that denim is best kept for jeans only: and, OK, maybe the odd jacket or two, if we’re feeling in a Blossom kinda mood. We’ve also always been kinda fickle, though, and this month we’re surprised to admit that Topshop have managed to turn us around on the issue of denim lingerie, although admittedly they’re at an advantage here, because we believe this to be more denim coloured, rather than the kind of fabric your jeans are made of. Still, we’re not sure if it’s the polka dots, or the ruffles, or if we’ve maybe just been denim-lingerie-lovers all along, but this little set triggered our “cute” reflex. If…

      expensive-underwear

      Christie’s $959 lingerie set: worth it?

      Well, it sure is pretty… but is it $959 worth of “pretty”? We’ll let you be the judge of that one: while The Fashion Police are partial to the odd piece of extravagant underwear, the fact that it’s hidden underneath our clothes (or quickly discarded, in the case of the “strictly-for-the-bedroom” stuff) makes us reluctant to pay more than the monthly mortgage repayment for it, which means we’re clearly not part of the target audience for this one. This set is by Christies, and the bra is covered in Swarovski crystals (hence the high price), while the matching g-string also has Swarovski details. If you want to wear them, we’re afraid you’ll have to wait until November 22nd to do…

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      Spanx or Slip? When the underpinning costs more than the dress…

      “Wow,” we though, flicking through the dresses section over at Bergdorf Goodman. “Would you lookit that! This dress looks EXACTLY like a Spanx slip! And God knows, those aren’t exactly cheap either (although, let’s face it, there are less expensive versions around), but hey, at least they’re not $475!” This Roland Mouret slip – we beg your pardon, underpinning – is, though. Which makes us wonder: why? What is it about THIS slip that makes it worth almost $500? Is it made of magic? Does it turn you into Heidi Klum? What does it do that Spanx doesn’t? Because surely it can’t just be that it has the name “Roland Mouret” stamped on the label? Please someone: tell us that’s…

      2-sizes-bigger-bra

      Marks & Spencer’s 2 Sizes Bigger Push Up Bra Predicted to Sell Out by Saturday

      We’ve heard of waiting lists for handbags and shoes, but a waiting list for a BRA? Yes, 1,600 people joined the pre-launch waiting list for Marks & Spencer’s 2 Sizes Bigger Push Up Bra, but that was just the tip of the iceberg, because since it went on sale last weekend, the bra has been selling so fast M&S predict it’ll have sold out completely by this Saturday. As the name suggests, the bra is designed to make you look, er, two sizes bigger.  It does this using a super-light foam which is half the weight of traditional gel pads, and also has straps that can be crossed at the back to give the girls even more of a lift. And that’s…

      pubic-hair-underwear

      The Hairy Underwear Collection, by Nutty Tarts

      We’re telling you, kids, anything goes these days in the world of fashion. Seriously, not only can you now wear your pubic hair ON TOP OF your knickers, you can also apparently wear your knickers on top of your tights. And that’s not all you can do…

      Alexander Wang sheer pants

      Style on Trial: Alexander Wang chiffon lingerie pants

      As if the harem pant weren’t controversial enough, Alexander Wang has taken it a step further making it sheer. These chiffon lingerie pants, $450, are a bit confusing. The subtle paper-bag waist, slouchy silhouette and not-too-baggy harem-ness of the pants actually start to convince us that the style is actually rather chic. We can see an old Hollywood screen siren wearing them to bed – as actual lingerie, as the name implies. But the problem is that people will definitely wear them out in public. Does that become a problem? The opaque boxer-short-like lining bothers us. We understand why it’s there, dear God some modesty is in order. But still…it looks weird, no?

      River Island mesh and lace body

      River Island mesh and lace strappy body

      Yes.  Quite. We were speechless too when we saw this on the River Island website.  This appears to be a black lace lingerie set, held together with a section of black mesh.  Whilst we have just about got our heads around the return of the bodysuit for this season, we cannot understand why such a garment as this should exist at all. It is listed on the website as a going out top but we would really rather it was in the underwear section, if it has to appear on there at all.  We can’t help but wonder just who would wear this when Lady Gaga will wear this, and in what situation?  We will attempt to get to the…

      care-bear-suit

      The Dress Like A Toddler Trend continues: Care Bear suits by Kigu for ASOS Hit

      We WERE going to make this the Ugly Harem Pant of the Day (joke!), but we know a lot of you are actually quite fond of the Dress Like a Toddler trend, when it’s applied to items of clothing designed to be worn in the privacy of your own home, so all we’re going to say about these Care Bear suits is that they exist, they’re $85.47 and they’re available from ASOS. And that we somehow don’t think this guy’s getting lucky if he wears this to bed tonight… [Thanks to Colette for the report!]

      pajamajeans

      PajamaJeans: the solution for people who like to wear their pyjamas to the store

      Like to wear your pyjamas in public? Tired of people looking at you like … well, like you just crawled out of bed? Don’t worry, folks, there is a solution, and it’s brought to you by the kind people at Pajamagram: introducing the PajamaJean! These are exactly what they sound like: fleece-lined pj-bottoms that are designed to look like jeans, and yes, they were actually developed in order to cater to the needs of the growing number of “Pyjama People” who can be seen wandering around wearing the same clothes they slept in. A good idea? Well, the company claim the product has been flying off their shelves, so obviously a lot of people think so. Will it just encourage the idea…

      lady-gaga's-girdle

      Lady Gaga’s girdle: $29.99 at Bed, Bath & Beyond

      We all know she loves Alexander McQueen and Martin Margiela, but did you know Lady Gaga ALSO shops at Bed, Bath & Beyond? No, neither did we, but Kymaro, makers of the flesh-coloured body shaper you see above, claim it’s their product Her Ladyship has been wearing on stage recently, not some pricey designer number. Isn’t it good to know that Gaga is secretly as frugal and down to earth as the rest of us, even although she DOES use shapewear as pants? The Kymaro Body Shaper (As Seen on TV!) retails for $29.99 at the aforementioned Bed, Bath & Beyond, and you can see an infomercial about it here. One thing, though: if you do decide to make like…

      silk-cami-and-short-set

      Daylight Robbery? Carine Gilson silk-satin and lace camisole and shorts

      Let’s be clear about one thing here: these are gorgeous. Well, they are, aren’t they? They’re beautiful and luxurious, and exactly the kind of thing we’d like to have tucked away in our lingerie drawer for a special occasion. It would have to be a VERY special occasion, though, because these cost £739 / $1,195 for the set, and if we ever find ourselves handing over $1000 for a camisole and a pair of shorts, well, we hope someone will do us the kindness of taking our credit cards from us and refusing to return them until we appear to have come to our senses. What about you, though, oh readers? Would you spend this much money on something like…

      The Snuggie Suit

      Introducing the Snuggie Suit!

      Far be it for us to try and police what people choose to wear in the comfort of their own homes, so all we’ll say about the Snuggie Suit pictured above is this: it exists. Please don’t be tempted to wear it in public. The Snuggie Suit is $24.99 at JC Penney, but is currently sold out. And you know what? Given the constant sub-zero temperatures we’ve been experiencing around Fashion Police HQ recently, we can almost understand why… [Thanks to Karen for the report!]

      Yohji-Yamamoto-boxer-shorts

      Fashion Police for the Boys: Yohji Yamamoto boxer shorts

      They’re exactly the kind of thing you’d expect to find in a tacky souvenir store in a tourist town. You know, the kind of place selling shirts that read “FBI: Female Body Inspector”? So why on EARTH are they selling for $925 and $1,010 respectively at Barney’s? Oh. Because they have “Yohji Yamamoto” stamped on the waistband. There’s officially no hope left for humanity. [Thanks to Rafael for the report!]

      The Anti-Wrinkle Bra

      [Guest Post] La Decollette Anti-wrinkle Bra – because I don’t already have enough to worry about

      Selina McEntee writes… When I look at this picture I can’t help but imagine a couple of teenage boys hovering near the lingerie department and sniggering to themselves: “dude, check it out, that dummy’s got her bra on backwards and you can totally see her nipples”. But what appears at first sight to be a racer-back bra worn backwards (because, you know, that can happen) is actually the La Decollette Anti-Wrinkle Bra, and according to the website when you wear this to bed at night “your breasts are more or less forced to stay in place so no vertical wrinkles will occur and your cleavage will stay smooth”. Up until this point I was blissfully unaware of the possibility of…

      forever-21-bras

      Underwear as Outerwear: Sequined and beaded bras from Forever 21

      Confession: these items were actually reported to us by a reader, whose name we’ve lost, so if that was you, thank you! If these bras had been intended to be worn as lingerie, we wouldn’t have given them a second thought. Well, other than to think, “Ooh, someone’s clothes are going to get really badly snagged on those things!” But the thing is, these AREN’T lingerie, are they? No, in the current, “Let’s all dress like Lady Gaga” fashion climate, these are supposed to be worn exactly as they are: or possibly with a nice lace bodysuit over the top of them. This offers further proof that the late “noughties” will be one of those fashion eras we’ll all look…

      retro-lingerie

      Wanted! Retro-style lingerie from Topshop

      Sequined knickers aside, Topshop actually has some fabulous pieces of actual lingerie in stock at the moment: think longline bras, high-waisted knickers, lace corsets – lingerie with a vaguely retro feel that looks good, but, more importantly, will help create a nice, smooth line under your clothes and, in the case of the high-waisted knickers, provide a bit of stomach-control, too. We’re particularly liking the current trend for longline bras, and like Topshop’s strapless, longline bustiers, which will be perfect under strapless dresses or bardot tops, meaning you don’t have to either show your bra straps or sacrifice your bra altogether if you want to wear certain styles. These are all available at Topshop.com.

      sequin-knickers

      Would you wear…big sequined knickers? (And not as lingerie)

      More and more often these days we find ourselves heaving a sigh and muttering, “Lady Gaga has a lot to answer for” under our breaths… The last time this happened was just a few days ago, while your fashion force were conducting an undercover raid on Topshop. As we browsed through the rails, we were distracted by a gaggle of women, all gathered around one particular item, which appeared to be amusing them greatly judging by the whoops of laughter coming from them. Naturally, we swooped in to investigate, and as the crowds parted before us, we discovered that the item in question was… a pair of big, sequined knickers, as illustrated above. Now, we’d seen a lot of these…

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      Dita Von Teese launches ‘Party Edition’ lingerie line for Wonderbra

      Dita Von Teese launched her second lingerie collection for Wonderbra this week, although she declined to show ooff the undies herself, letting two models do the, er, dirty work for her while she reclined in a black dress, leather gloves and – what else? – Christian Louboutin stiletto heels. The collection is called the “Party Edition” and is available at various outlets across Europe (sorry, rest of the world). Take a look under the jump to see some of the pieces, or view the full collection here. What do you think of it?

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      Fashion Police mobilise forces against Snuggies, Crocs and harem pants

      See? Told you we had it all under control, didn’t we? Oh, OK, fair enough it’s not us, it’s a bunch of models promoting Agent Provocateur’s new lingerie line, outside Selfridges in London this week. We can only hope there weren’t too many car accidents as a result of this. The range is called The New World Order, and is available from the company’s website. It’s probably best NOT to wear it in public, though. Especially not with the thigh high boots…

      cage-bra-and-skirt

      Bondage Bandages: Savant Bandage Bralette and Skirt

      We’ve been seeing a lot of cage skirts cropping up this season, but if you’ve been looking for the perfect item to wear with one, Fashion Police reader Georgette has the ideal solution for you: Savant’s Bandage Bralette, which at $195 seems an ideal candidate for Daylight Robbery. We’re assuming no one (well, no one except Lady Gaga, obviously) would wear these in public as shown in the image on the right, but would you wear the bra over a t-shirt? Would you wear it at all? If you would, you can buy it here.

      Best of The Fashion Police: The C-String

      The C-String caused quite a stir when we first wrote about it, with some of you saying you wouldn't wear it as part of a Wear or Die, and others claiming that y'all didn't know what you were talking about, and that this was the best thing since… well, since the G-String, basically. As you may or may not be able to tell from the image above, the C-String is like a g-string, with one important different: it has no straps at all, so when you slip it on, it just kind of, er, clings there. The Fashion Police wouldn't normally get involved with matters of lingerie, because we tend to think that what people wear under their clothes is…

      Fashion Police Poll: Lingerie – pretty or practical?

      We love lingerie. In fact, it's one of our weaknesses in life, and the prettier and more extravagant it looks, the better. Here's the thing, though: despite buying more than our fair share of luxurious lingerie, we hardly ever wear it. It just never seems to work out right: that frilly, frothy bra may have looked gorgeous in the store, and it'll probably look great on, too, but it'll also leave all kinds of lumps and bumps under our top, which will totally ruin the look. And those pretty little knickers may be the last word in luxury, but unless they're as comfortable as they are good-looking, we'll be reaching for something plainer but comfier and less likely to be…

      The Nipple Bra: a good, old-fashioned crime of fashion

      We're not sure when this advert dates from – going by the look of it we'd guess sometime in the 70s – but we think the real question here isn't "when" but "WHY?" As you can see from the text, the purpose of the nipple bra is to allow you to have "that sensual, no-bra look while wearing a bra". It was "the very first bra to have its own built-in nipple" and provide that "cold weather look" all the time. Yes, that'll definitely get your guy's attention. We'd love to see the look on his face, though, when you take off your top to reveal THE NIPPLE BRA! Why did this not catch on? [Source]

      Peaches Geldof is the new face – er, body – of Miss Ultimo

      More lingerie, this time from Ultimo, who've just launched their new 'Miss Ultimo' line, with a campaign starring the ubiquitous Peaches Geldof. She really is everywhere right now, isn't she? The lingerie itself is a younger, fresher take on Ultimo's usual offerings, and some of the pieces are very cute. Take a look under the jump to see more of Peaches (maybe more than you'd really like to see of her, who knows) or visit the website here.

      Lisca lingerie make Smart Memory Bra to boost cleavage when you’re aroused

      We thought we'd mysteriously gone back in time to April Fool's Day when we first heard about this, but no, it's a true story: lingerie label Lisca have developed a bra which works out when you're feeling, um, hot to trot, and adjusts your cleavage accordingly. The bra apparently reacts to changes in body temperature brought on my sexual arousal, and changes shape to push the breasts together, making them look bigger. When your temperature drops, so do your boobs, with the cups loosening in reaction to the change in temperature. These aren't available to buy just yet, but will sell for around £25 if and when the company finds a distributor. Would you buy one, though? [Source]

      Harem pants: now available as pyjamas

      Yes, it's true: the harem pant invasion of the world continues,and now not even pyjamas are safe from what we've come to think of as The Curse of the Crotch. Actually, though, this application of the familair old saggy crotch syndrome is possiblty the only one that actually makes sense to us. After all, they're probably comfortable, and if you're wearing them in the comfort of your own home, that falls outwith the jurisdiction of The Fashion Police. Rather than branding them Crimes of Fashion, then, we will simply note that they're £12 from Topshop. What you choose to do with that information is, of course, up to you.

      Daylight Robbery: The £100 bloomers

        OK, is anyone else just seeing a pair of reasonably plain black knickers here? And, ok, they're silk, but still… doesn't really make us want to pay £100/ $144 for them. And yet, these are sold out at Net-a-Porter, so it seems we have a mystery on our hands: The Mystery of the Expensive-Yet-Ordinary Bloomers. Can you help us solve it, readers? Can you enlighten us as to why these might be worth paying £100 for? We'd love to be able to close this case…

      Friday Fun: Days of the Week Knickers by Stella McCartney

      Did you have days of the week knickers when you were a kid? The Fashion Police are sad to report that we didn’t – but now Stella McCartney has provided us with the perfect excuse to buy them now we’re adults, with this Knickers of the Week pack, which is £125 at Net-a-Porter. At first the price made our eyes pop a little, but of course, it works out at just over £17 per pair, which you may think is worth it given that they are pretty cute knickers, no?

      Budget Buy of the Week: Dusky pink satin sleep set from Next

      We have to confess that Next isn’t a store we’re given to policing all too often, but they actually do some pretty good value basics like t-shirts, tank tops and, of course, lingerie and nightwear, and when we discovered this pretty little pink set for just £14, well, we were sold. This is also available in taupe, and we think it’d be rather sweet to slip into of an evening, or even to give as a gift. Not bad, Next, not bad at all…

      Budget Buy of the Week: Vintage silk chemise from Oasis

      At £35, this vintage silk chemise from Oasis is a little more expensive than the items we normally feature as our Budget Buys, but it’s not exactly going to break the bank, so if you’re looking to add a little touch of luxury to your life, you may think the price is justified. The lovely pale green colour was what originally attracted us to this, but we also love the thought of going to bed feeling like an old fashioned movie star for once, instead of the usual “anything to keep warm” ensemble. If that thought appeals to you too, the matching vintage silk bed jacket might be right up your street too.

      Victoria’s Secret unveil 2008 Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra

      The world may be going through a financial crisis, but the folks at Victoria’s Secret are all just, "Financial crisis? What financial crisis?" because it’s that time of the year again – the time when Victoria’s Secret unveil a bra so expensive it’ll make your head spin. This year’s effort is shown above. It’s worth $5,000,000 and is made from ,575 black diamonds, 117 white diamonds and 34 rubies. Oh, and those two things you see hanging down in front, looking a little bit like the string-pulls you get on window blinds? Black diamonds. Big ‘uns. Expect to see it on Victoria Beckham very, very soon…

      Do you wear… butt-enhancing knickers?

      By now it should come as no surprise to anyone that butt-enhancing knickers exist. They’ve been around for a long time now, after all, but here’s the strange thing about that: we’ve still yet to meet anyone who actually wears them. Or who admits to wearing them, anyway, which may be a totally different thing. And so we ask: who is buying the butt-enhancing knickers? Is it you? How about you? And what do you think of them, if you do? Do you wear them every day, or is it just a “special occasion” thing? Are they comfortable or does it feel, as the above picture seems to suggest, a little “bouncy” when you sit down? Excuse all the questions:…

      Sequin high waist knickers from Topshop – suddenly, lingerie gets interesting

      These were in the lingerie section at Topshop this morning, and, believe it or not, are already sold out online. All we can say is that some people clearly have much more exciting knicker drawers than The Fashion Police do. We now feel deeply ashamed of our collection of non-sequined undies… If you want to dress just like Kylie, these are £25 and you’ll need to visit the store in person to find them. Just make sure you don’t stick them in the machine with the rest of the wash…

      Save or Splurge: tie-side briefs

      OK, so clearly the two items shown above aren’t identical, but the style is roughly the same, so what we want to know is: how much would you pay for a pair of knickers, anyway? The pair on the left are from Accessorize, are made of cotton and are a wallet-friendly £6. The ones on the right, meanwhile, are much more of a splurge at £65, but they are made of silk, and are by Myla, available at Net-a-Porter. We think both are rather cute, but tell us: is the luxury of silk worth all that extra cash to you, or would you settle for cotton and spend the extra £59 on something else? Assuming that you’d even buy this…

      pyjamas on the school run

      Adult Onesies: the Dress Like a Toddler Trend claims further victims

      We don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this one, so we think we’re going to settle for “crying with laughter”. Because seriously, readers. Seriously. These onesies would look super-cute on babies or toddlers, but here’s the thing: they’re not for babies or toddlers. No, they’re for us. Adults. Yes, the ‘Dress Like a Toddler’ trend has struck again. Is there no stopping its reign of terror? Now, we can’t deny that these will keep you nice and cosy on a cold winter’s night, and will be super-comfortable when you’re lounging around the house. The cosy comfort will be achieved at the expense of your dignity, however, and unless you sleep alone – or want to – you may…

      Doll Bras – creepy faces for your breasts

      Breasts. Boobs. Lovely lady lumps. Whatever. They’re all well and good, you know, but wouldn’t they be so much better if they had, oh, let’s see, a couple of scary doll faces staring out of them, say? No? What do you mean, “no”? If you don’t think that sounds like a good idea, then there would be no need for Doll Bras to exist in the world, and as Doll Bras most certainly do exist in the world, then we can only assume that people are buying them. And wearing them. And walking around with little creepy doll faces attached to their boobs. No, we don’t understand why either. And we’re scared. Seriously, wouldn’t you be scared if you looked…

      Would you wear…high rise panties?

      The times, they are a-changin’ in the wonderful world of fashion. Jeans are getting higher in the waist. Bikini bottoms are getting higher in the waist. So we guess it was just a matter of time before lingerie followed suit, and now it has. These high rise panties are from Twin Syndrome Design Works on Etsy, and cost $20 each. Would you wear them, though? Well, they look super-comfortable and are probably nice and cosy for the winter, but The Fashion Police never did buy into the high-waisted jeans look, and we think these might look a little bit odd sticking out of the top of our hipsters. So that would be a “probably not” from us, but what do…

      Braza’s ‘Reveal’ bra – double sided sticky tape for the boobs

      Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman – particularly those times when we’re forced to stick two large pieces of sticky tape to our boobs just to hold them up in a backless or low-cut dress… Braza’s ‘Reveal’ bra does pretty much what it says on the tin – it "reveals" as much of your breast as is humanly possible, relying on double-sided tape to keep your clothes in place while it lifts and holds from above. This isn’t recommended for anyone larger than a 38C, but if you’re smaller than that, you can pick one up at Amazon for $8. We’re sure this isn’t the case, but every time we look at it, we think of the painful sensation…

      Open Cup Bras: frame your boobs, offer no support whatsoever

       We were going to describe this open cup bra by Kiki de Montparnasse as the most pointless (or perhaps “cupless” would be a better choice of word here) thing ever, but of course, that’s not quite correct: not only do shants already hold the title of Most Pointless Thing Ever, this bra does actually have a purpose. It’s purpose is, not to support your breasts, but to frame them, as if they were pretty paintings or other works of art. In other words: it’s supposed to be sexy. Are we the only ones who think it just fails at that? Ah well, ours is not to question what people decide to wear in the privacy of their own bedrooms, so…

      Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra – a match made in Fashion Police heaven

      If The Fashion Police were to have a poster girl, Dita Von Teese would probably be it. She’s stylish and sexy without ever looking trashy, and given that this is a burlesque dancer we’re talking about here, that’s quite the accomplishment. So, even although we normally have to suppress a yawn at the news of yet another celebrity fashion line, when we heard that Dita was designing a collection for Wonderbra, we sat up and took notice instead. Wonderbra by Dita Von Teese will be available from September 23rd, but we have some more pictures of the new line under the jump. Let us know what you think!

      More Batman fashion – vest and short set from Topshop

      When we asked whether or not you’d wear Batman themed clothes last month, a fair few of you answered in the affirmative, so just for those people, here’s another dose of Batman fashion – a vest and shorts sleep set from Topshop. This will cost you just £16, and allow you to indulge your love of all things Batman without having to walk around in public with a giant bat on your chest. Of course, if you do want to walk around in public with a giant bat on your chest, we guess there’s nothing stopping you wearing the vest with outdoor clothes. No, not even The Fashion Police…

      Wanted! Pretty floral print bra by La Senza

      We’ve tried to get into floral print, we really have. We see it on other people, and we think, "Hmm, pretty!" but every time we try to wear it ourselves, we inevitably end up looking like post-war spinsters, and find ourselves wanting to invite elderly ladies round to Fashion Police HQ for a nice cup of tea and a scone. So floral print on dresses, skirts, etc? Nice, but just not for us. On lingerie, on the other hand? Well now, that’s a totally different matter, and when we discovered this pretty little bra on the La Senza website, we found ourselves cooing over it as if it were a small, fluffy animal. Then we glanced at the price and…

      Wanted! Lovely loungewear from La Senza

      Yes, folks, we’re taking our obsession with bows into the bedroom, and we don’t care how much you roll your eyes at us for doing it, because these little sleepwear sets from La Senza are just too cute to resist. Actually, they’re too cute to wear just to bed, either, so we’d put these to good use by wearing them to lounge around the house of an evening, and we’d probably be tempted to wear the cami tops outside of the house too, if only the one on the left didn’t look suspiciously see-through. Ah well, at £18 for a capri n’ cami combo, we think it’s a pretty good deal. But which one do we like best, we wonder?…

      Brief Jerky: Underwear made from… beef jerky

      Here at The Fashion Police, we love us some beef jerky. Not as much as the people who apparently want to wrap it around their privates, mind you. We don’t think anyone should love beef jerky that much. Someone does, though, and that someone is Etsy seller Mixed Species, who is selling this fine example of "Brief Jerky" for the price of $139. For that sum, you too could look like the fine gentleman pictured just after the jump – be warned, though, this picture is probably Not Safe For Work. Or, indeed, for anyone who happens to be eating right now…

      Lovely Lingerie: Antonia Ghazlan lace bra at Topshop

      We started reaching for The Fashion Police credit card as soon as we saw this pretty little Antonia Ghazlan lace bra on the Topshop website, but something stayed our hands, for where are the matching knickers? They were nowhere to be seen (or they weren’t at the time of writing, anyway) and surely this can’t be right? Surely a pretty bra calls for a matching pair of knickers, no? The Fashion Police are waiting impatiently for the missing pants to appear. In the meantime, we’re thinking we might just make do with a white pair. You know, like they did during the war and stuff…

      ‘Nundies’ by Miss Oops: wave goodbye to visible panty lines. In fact, wave goodbye to your panties…

      So, tell us: visible panty lines. How much of an issue are they really? And what lengths would you go to in order to eliminate them? Most of you weren’t that impressed with the C-String, but what about these ‘Nundies’ by Miss Oops? They’re disposable  "pantyless panties" which adhere to the inside seam of your pants, allowing you to go commando without any, um, chaffing, and other unpleasantness. Clearly, then, they wouldn’t be much use for skirts or dresses, but would you wear them under pants or jeans? Or will you be sticking to the boy shorts/thongs that seem to do the trick for us?

      Bottoms Up! Butt-padded briefs give you a bottom like Beyonce

      Look carefully at this picture. See those large white pads on each butt cheek? They’re making this model look like she has a pert, rounded bottom… when she actually doesn’t. They’re also making her look like she was the victim of some kind of butt-cheek related injury, but let’s not think too hard about that right now. Instead, let’s look at the picture again and ask ourselves: what would it feel like to try and sit down with those things in your pants? Would your jeans still fit you, or would you need to buy new ones to accommodate your pad-enhanced derriere? And would you buy a pair? If the answer to the last question was "abso-freaking-lutely", you can find…

      Ugly Underwear: the scorpion thong

      This is not so much a case of "ants in your pants" as "scorpions in them". You heard us. We don’t know about you, but small, pincered crustaceans in the genital are doesn’t really say "fashion" or even "sexy"to us. It says… actually, lets; not lower the tone here any further, hmmm? £5.96 from Fashion.net. If you dare.

      Maindenform’s Breakthrough Backless Bra – just what it sounds like

      Now, we know from our Fashion Confessions that some of you just ain’t too fussed about the whole "visible bra strap" issue.  Sometimes, though (and especially when it comes to wearing slinky evening wear), you just don’t want those straps to show, and for those backless-dress occasions, Maidenform have come up with their Breakthrough Backless Bra. This is… well, it’s basically a couple of slings for your boobs, isn’t it? But if you’re wearing a dress that has either no back or a very low back, that could be just what you need if you’re not prepared to go bra-less. The bra is $25 and has just been released, so it’s available for pre-order via the Maidenform website.