| | Category Archives: KnitwearThe Creepiest Shirt in the World: official | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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(Single sleeved sweater, DSquared2, £175: click here to buy it)
As anyone who owns a right arm knows, sometimes that thing just gets SO DARN HOT, doesn’t it? Seriously, are we right? Your left arm? Freezing. Your neck and torso? So cold you could make ice cubes out of them. (Although that would be weird.) But trust the ol’ right arm to upset the apple cart and demand to be left as naked as the day it was born, eh? And thank goodness for fashion brands like DSquared2, for finding an answer to the eternal problem of the right arm…and for finding a way to charge people £175 / $280 for it!
Probably best not to mention to the people buying this that you could just buy a regular old turtleneck sweater and hack off one arm, eh? Or, better yet, find an old one you have no use for, and avoid dropping any cash at all. Because that would spoil their fun.)
We must confess, though, we were really just joking when we described this as a “new fashion trend”. It’ll just be a Dsquared2 thing, after all. It’s not like other designers are all going to be rushing to jump aboard the one-sleeve bandwagon, is it?
(One sleeve top, Sass & Bide, $165: click here to buy it)
Well, other than Sass & Bide, obviously. And wouldya look at that: their version leaves the LEFT arm bare! That totally destroys our theory of the Evil Right Arm.
While we’re on the subject of Sass & Bide, by the way, allow us to quickly draw your attention to this:
(Tete-a-tete pants, $265: click here to buy them)
Yeah. Anyway, back to those single sleeves, which are all of sudden starting to look pretty good to us, for some reason. Now, we’re all used to seeing single sleeves on dresses, for instance:
(One sleeve sash dress, £37, Miss Selfridge: click here to buy it)
It’s a bit of an eveningwear staple, isn’t it? It’s not our favourite look in the world, to be completely honest with you. But we barely bat an eyelid at it, so why not extend the same look to a turtleneck sweater, say? Will that one day seem as commonplace as the one-sleeved dress?
Well, we can only hope not. Because seriously: under what strange set of circumstances would such a thing suddenly seem like the ideal attire? (That’s not a rhetorical question, by the way: we genuinely want to know. We have a feeling that a story which included the line “And I just knew my one-sleeved turtleneck sweater would be the IDEAL thing to wear!” would be a story worth hearing.)
What do you think of the single-sleeved look, readers? Is it guilty or innocent of the charge of committing crimes of fashion?
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OK. It doesn’t look totally like a pair of breasts. Mostly because no one has skin that pattern. But look: there’s just no way you can put two large circles, with smaller circles inside ‘em, right over your boobs and NOT prompt that comparison. And you can’t tell us that when Marc Jacobs came up with this one, he didn’t have a bit of a chuckle to himself and think, “Hehe! Boobies! I’m giving people fake boobies! And I’m charging them $800 for them!”
For yes, readers, it’s true: this sweater costs $800. Or $878.16, to be exact. We think the joke is on whoever buys it, no? Because people may not say it, but they WILL be thinking it. And by “it”, we mean, “Who the hell pays $800 for a boob sweater?”
Do you?
(Click here to buy it)
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$1000 well spent, no?
(This is by Pringle of Scotland: click here to buy it.)
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So JBNY, you think you’re being all quirky with your hand shaped pockets don’t you? But we’re not fooled. We know that this is just a stuck together crime of fashion. We suppose this could be useful if you have forgotten your gloves, at least until you needed to move your hands away from your body to actually do anything that is. Besides, who puts their hands in their pockets and spreads their fingers out like these pockets would force you to? If you do, and this cardi is just the thing that’s been missing from your life, you can buy it at ASOS for £215.
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We were going to say this cardigan was a “two for the price of one” deal, but it’s actually more like one for the price of six, because if we ever find ourselves paying £320 for a single cardigan, we’ll know we’ve either become rich beyond our wildest dreams, or been totally taken in by a Daylight Robbery criminal.
If we ever find ourselves buying two cardigans that are physically attached to each other, meanwhile, we’ll know we’ve just lost our minds.
What about you? Would you pay £320 for a pair of conjoined cardigans? Click here if so…
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Dog lovers of the world, rejoice: your pet pooch is going to be the very height of fashion this season – or at least, he will be at Dorothy Perkins, who’ve covered their new season knitwear with images of our furry friends.
The pieces shown above are all in the region of £30, and most are available in a couple of different colours. What do you think? Do you adore the doggies, or would you have to be barking mad to consider these? (Sorry, sorry…)
(Click here to buy them)
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Well, everyone loves eggs, right? RIGHT?
Do you love a good fry up enough to want to wear it, though? And to pay £60 for the privilege? If so, just click here to buy it from Topshop!
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