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Archive for the ‘Knitwear’ Category
Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
Jessie at Denimology made a citizen's arrest on this "cardigan" (and we use that word in its loosest sense) this week, and sent it straight over to Fashion Police HQ for examination.
Having interviewed the cardigan, however, we're satisfied that it is but an innocent victim here. It's had its back snatched, and we didn't have to look very far to find out who the REAL criminal is in this case. Marc Jacobs is the man we're after, folks, for it was he who thought this would be a good idea AND that people would pay – wait for it – $985 for it. No, that figure isn't missing a decimal point.
Retailers have, of course, seen that this figure would have them charged with Daylight Robbery, and have reduced it to $178. We still can't imagine there being many takers, though, can you?
Our Police Dog once did this to one of the Chief's sweaters. Oh, what a terrible day that was: it lives in infamy.
Now it would seem the same fate has befallen this orange top from River Island. Poor thing: we have no idea what it did to deserve this, but we can only commend its bravery, because despite having sustained horrific injuries in the attack,by an unknown assailant, it is still offering itself up for sale, for the price of £29.99. Good on you, brave top! Just because you've been ripped to shreds, it doesn't make you any less of a top, you know? We applaud you. Just don't ask us to actually wear you, because we're afraid the answer to that one would have to be "no".
Of all the things in the world we can imagine spending £1,200/ $1691 on, we have to say that anything that can be described as a "beige cardigan" probably wouldn't be one of them.
No, in the entirely fictional (but really quite fun) world in which we have that amount of money to spend on a frivolous fashion item, we're thinking the item in question would have to be something we could describe using the words "fabulous shoes", "show-stopper dress" or "handbag that will last forever". Maybe even "great big diamond". But "beige cardigan"? Nah, it's just not doing it for us.
Of course, the fact that this particular beige cardigan  looks like it's been cobbled together using little bits of knitting from a bunch of totally unrelated projects doesn't help here. We're willing to believe a huge amount of work went into its creation (for that price we really HOPE a huge amount of work was involved), but even so, it still strikes us as daylight robbery. What do you think?
Monday, January 5th, 2009
 Did you ever have a loopy jacket when you were a baby? The Fashion Police did, and we even had loopy hats to match! Clearly we were very fashion-forward babies, and way ahead of our time, for Simone Shailes has designed this version of the loopy jacket, which is sold at Topshop for the “bargain” price of £250. [Edit: now down to £60 in the sale. We wonder why?]
As adults, we think there’s a bit too much bulk there for our current tastes, and so we’re probably going to just try and forget our loopy-cardigan-wearing pasts, but we do find this design interesting and, for reasons we can’t quite explain, want to run our hands all over it.
What do you think, readers? Love? Hate? Indifference? Tell us!
Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
As regular readers will already know, your Chief of Police suffers from the unfortunate condition of Being Constantly Freezing. One of our favourite solutions to this situation, which can create serious havoc with the fashion sense, is to call on the services of our old friend, the Cardigan-That-Looks-Like-a-Jacket.
With the help of a good CTLLAJ, you can continue to look stylish while still keeping yourself warm, and we have to say that this particular Cardigan-That-Looks-Like-a-Jacket is one of the nicest ones we’ve seen. It’ll look fantastic with jeans, helping to both dress them up a little bit and provide that much-needed element of warmth. The military look is also very appropriate for the Chief, who just wishes it wasn’t £129.66. If you have no such qualms over price, you can pick one up at Anthropologie.
Friday, December 5th, 2008
 This sweater wouldn’t ordinarily have attracted the attention of The Fashion Police, because as far as fashion offences go this is only a minor infraction.
The thing is, though, the Chief of Police is short. Every sweater she ever buys, therefore, sits much lower than it’s supposed to, and she knows a lot of other women who are in the same unfortunate position.
All we’re saying is that we’d really hate to see this sweater on one of those women. Especially if they’d decided to go bra-less underneath it…
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
Our apologies for the disturbing nature of these photographs. Yes, this model DOES appear to be wearing a shagpile carpet on her torso. No, we have no idea why. This crime was reported to us by Officer Jannet, and we’ve instantly put out an APB on this item, which can be purchased from Miss Sixty. The final insult? It’s £70.
Someone pass us the smelling salts…
Monday, December 1st, 2008
Now, we love this sweater. Seriously, how could we not? As regular readers know, we’re like magpies, only with bows rather than sparkly things (OK, with bows as well as sparkly things), and this? Is gorgeous. Just gorgeous. So, the second we laid eyes on it, we began to imagine all the things we’d wear it with, and to think dreamily about how our lives would be transformed by ownership of the Caroline Hererra bow sweater.
And then we looked at the price.
$1,190. One. Thousand. One Hundred. And Ninety. Dollars.
We may have had to call for our smelling salts.
If you think this price is justified, you can hand over the readies to Bergdorf Goodman. We, meanwhile, will be making do with a plain black sweater and a long silk scarf tied in a bow at the neck. Same basic effect, mere fraction of the cost. Perfect.
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
Admission: this Christopher Kane sweater  doesn’t actually cost £3000. We exaggerated for dramatic effect. Sorry. No, it actually costs £2,995, which, for the benefit of our American readers, works out at around $4,728. Yikes.
Now, it’s a fine sweater. It’s 100% cashmere, and it’s embellished with lots and lots of little crystals and studs, which must have been an absolute bitch to sew on, so, you know, clearly we wouldn’t have expected such an item to be cheap, exactly.
Is it worth £2,995 to you, though, we wonder? Tell us, readers: would you ever consider paying that much for a sweater like this, or do you think it amounts to Daylight Robbery?
Friday, October 31st, 2008
 Planning to keep things low-key this Halloween? This yellow ‘Devil’ sweater from Betsey Johnson is just the thing for you, then: from the front, it’s a totally plain (albeit very yellow) longline sweater. Turn around, though, and it’ll be clear to all who see you that the devil’s got your back.
And how much does it cost to carry Beelzebub on your back, we hear you ask? Why, a mere $305 from Betsey Johnson’s online store!
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