6 stylish Christmas jumpers

      6 Christmas Jumpers We Don’t Totally Hate

      Here at The Fashion Police, we’re not fans of Christmas jumpers.  No, not even when they’re being worn “ironically”. Yes, it’s OK that you hate us for it, because seriously: who WOULDN’T want to wear a hilariously ugly sweater with a cartoon picture of Santa Claus stuck on the front? Er, we wouldn’t. And, more to the point, we wouldn’t want to waste our money on something we’d just be wearing for the sake of “joining in”, so assuming that we absolutely HAD to wear a Christmas jumper, here are some of the jumpers we’d choose… 01. H&M ‘Honey It’s Cold Outside’ jumper We’re fond of a good ol’ slogan sweater, and although the slogan on this one is definitely…

      strange sweaters

      Not Your Average Sweaters

      It’s sweater weather! No doubt you’ll have already seen a million fashion editorials, and a million-and-one blog posts helpfully informing you of this very fact. Gone are the days when the humble sweater was the “sensible” choice for a cold day, however. No, today’s sweaters are fashion-forward, edgy and unique. And probably not much use on a cold day, come to think of it. Take a look at this suspect, for instance: Costume National Wool Vest, $999 We guess you could layer something under it if you actually wanted to beat the chill in it? You’d still look and feel like you were in a cocoon, obviously, but maybe that’s the point? Along somewhat similar lines, but with fewer cutouts,…

      festive dressing

      The Christmas Sweater gets trendy. Sort of.

      Santa sleep tee, Topshop Once upon a time, Christmas sweaters were the kind of items that were worn just once a year (Christmas Day itself), and normally out of a sense of obligation: well, if someone had gone to the trouble of knitting one for you, the least you could do was to wear the thing for a few hours, huh? Now, however, things have changed for the Christmas sweater. Once the inspiration behind many an “Ugly Sweater” party, Christmas sweaters have now taken their place in our stores, and in our closets, and are being worn un-ironically, and by people who generally consider themselves to be “fashionable”. It may only be the middle of November, but we’ve already seen…


      Style Trial | Fluffy fashion from Topshop

      All items available at Topshop We had a lot of love for Topshop’s fluffy knitwear a few weeks ago, but we’re a little less enamoured with some of the latest fluffy fashions to hit our favourite website. With their lurid colours and long-haired wool, these pieces have more in common with The Muppets than they do with Lana del Rey and other fuzzy sweater-wearers: in fact the neon green number could work pretty well as a part of a last-minute Kermit the Frog Halloween costume, if you can just find some matching bottoms. Do you hold it against them, though? Well, let’s see: The case for the prosecution: 1. They’re (mostly) neon. Neon may well be fashionable at the moment,…

      Louche 'Ivy' bow cardigans

      High Street Shopping: Louche ‘Ivy’ bow cardigans

      Louche ‘Ivy’ bow cardigans, £29 The Fashion Police are big fans of the humble cardigan. They keep you warm when it’s cold out (well, d’uh!), dress down too-fancy outfits, and make strappy dresses and tops suddenly appropriate for all kinds of settings they’d otherwise have been deemed semi-scandalous in. Honestly, we’d be lost without them. In fact, we feel like we should award them some kind of medal for services to style. We’ll look into that. Good cardigans, however, as is always the case with many of those so-called “wardrobe essentials” can be hard to find, (And why is it that the simplest things are always the trickiest to track down, anyway?) which is why we were so happy to…

      designer holiday sweaters

      The holiday sweater goes designer

      Holiday sweaters. For some people, they will always be the horrid, scratchy things they were forced to wear every Christmas morning, and were begging to be released from by the time the turkey was on the table. For others, however, they’re a designer fashion statement, and a chance to splash some serious cash on the kind of knitwear that wouldn’t look out of place at an ugly sweater party. The ones pictured here are by the likes of Stella McCartney, Markus Lupfer and Moschino, and we’re hoping they’re REALLY impressive up close, because as you read this, little old ladies around the world are looking at this post, clutching their knitting needles and hearing cash registers ringing in their ears….

      Primark Pow Sweater

      High Street Shopping: Primark ‘Pow!’ sweater

      Move over Marcus Lupfer… Primark jumped right on the comic book trend with their ‘Pow!” sweater, which will set you back all of £14 (unlike the designer version, which was over £300). We hate to use the phrase “on trend”, so instead we’ll simply note that this will certainly help keep you cosy as the nights draw in. Sadly, Primark are yet to launch an ecommerce website, so you’ll need to track this one down in store….

      crime of fashion

      Winter woolies, fashion criminal style

      Well, as long as your thighs are warm, who cares about freezing your butt and back? That seems to be the thinking behind this item, anyway. And really, this isn’t so much a fashion crime as it is a fashion mystery: the kind of thing that makes us shake our head and wonder who on earth would look at something like this and think, “£125? Oh HELL yes: this is just the thing that’s missing from my life!” Would you? [Buy it]

      roadkill sweater

      Crime of Fashion: The Roadkill Sweater

      Just in case it wasn’t bad enough, that’s real fur attached to it, to create this strange, “This is the skin of the tiger that mauled me” effect. That certainly explains why it’s £200 on sale, but it doesn’t even begin to explain why it exists, does it? [Product page]

      crime of fashion

      Modelling is Hard: Maison Martin Margiela edition

      This outfit is one of those things that just gets stranger, and more confusing, the longer you look at it. At first you think it’s just a simple pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater, and who could possibly object to that? Then you notice that although the model’s head has been cut off (Not by us, we hasten to add. Our officers are authorised to use force if necessary when arresting fashion criminals  but not THAT much force…), whoever did it has failed to disguise that the turtleneck comes all the way up to her eyes: How can she breathe under there? How can she hear? Or speak? Does her union rep know about any of this? Then you realise…

      Bless turtleneck sweaters

      Strange Sweaters from Bless

      “Gosh!” we thought, “It’s not like our old friends at Bless to make an item of clothing that looks, well, ordinary. We’re more used to seeing hairy shoes, strange, off-the-shoulder suit jackets, and who could forget the Ra Multispaghetti dress? But these… these look like regular turtleneck sweaters!” Sigh. At least some things never change, eh? Of course, you don’t have to be in the Fashion Police detective squad to see what happened here. Obviously one sweater stole the back right off the other one. And turned it into a … knapsack? A cape? We have no idea. The good news is that there’s really only one fashion criminal in this post: the yellow sweater is guilty as sin. Its blue…

      Acne Gladys light sweater

      Unsolved Mysteries: Acne ‘Gladys Light’ grey sweater

      Something’s missing here. Over the years we’ve been policing the world of fashion, we’ve come to the conclusion that  fashion victims live in a completely different climate from the rest of us. In fashion land, it’s always warm enough for shorts… but also cold enough for boots. It’s cold enough for the fashionista’s favourite thing – LAYERING, and LOTS OF IT – but at the same time warm enough for bare legs and sandals. And today we learn that in the land of the fashionable, it’s often cold enough to need a thick-knick sweater… but simultaneously so warm that you’d want to hack a huge square out of the front of it, exposing your naked body from nipple to clavicle….

      glove sleeve sweater

      Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Glove Sleeve Sweater

      As far as Stuck Together Clothes Crimes go, sweaters with attached gloves have to be amongst the most hilarious. Seriously, can YOU look at the image above and keep a straight face? We’re impressed, if so. As chucklesome as this is, though, the fact remains that most glove sweaters are the type your mother used to DIY for you when you were a kid, i.e. the gloves can be removed, which makes the item just a bit unnecessary (unless you’re REALLY prone to losing your gloves, obviously, but even if you are, do you really want to have to wear the same sweater day after day, just so you can attach them to it? Thought not.), as opposed to being…

      cheap knitwear

      Wanted! Cute, cheap knitwear

      [Image: A|Wear] Knitwear: it’s one of those wardrobe staples, especially at this time of year, as the weather starts to turn colder, and our closets start to fill up with winter woolies. Is it too much to ask  that it actually be cute, though? Well, thankfully not: we’ve rounded up some of our favourite pieces of knitwear for the coming season – take a look and see what we’ve found! 40s style angora cardigans: 40 euros at A|Wear Now, we have to admit to being a little confused by the concept of short-sleeved sweaters. They’re cute, sure, but it can be hard to know when to wear them, because when it’s cold enough for sweaters, it’s normally too cold for…

      Sonia Rykiel eye sweater

      Bad fashion is watching you…

      This is a sweater. We know. The good news is it’s already sold out, so there’s no chance of anyone buying it and actually wearing it. (Or, wait: maybe that’s the bad news, because it means people are already wearing it?) The bad news, meanwhile, is that it may be sold out, but it’s still watching you. And it will no doubt be appearing in your nightmares tonight. Have a good weekend!

      comme des garcons glove sweater

      Comme des Garcons make sure we never forget our gloves again

      Remember when you were a little kid and your mother would sew your gloves into the sleeves of your coat, so you didn’t leave them behind anywhere? Think of Comme des Garcons as your mother. And think of this £244 sweater as your coat. Now think of yourself as a fashion victim, because you just spent all that money on a plain black shirt with a pair of gloves attached to it, just because it was OMGDESIGNER… [Click here to buy it]

      Bless Mitchelin sweater

      Meet the Mitchelin Woman…

      This post WAS supposed to be about Bless’s aptly-named ‘Mitchelin’ sweater, but actually, now we come to write it, all we can think about is those shoes. Oh, those shoes! The peep-toe boot rule is in full effect here, but honestly, we think the model is probably using the gargatuan sweater purely as a distraction technique, to draw our eyes away from those Frankenshoes. And we don’t blame her. We think the original £708 was maybe a little steep for this sweater (Although, mind you, it’ll definitely keep you warm. And you won’t have to buy any more sweaters ever again, because this sweater is like twenty sweaters.) but perhaps the sale price of £354 will make it more appealing…

      skirt cardigan

      Skirt… or cardigan? You choose!

      Is it a skirt? Or is it a cardigan? It’s both! One minute it’s a really ugly skirt: But the next minute? It’s a cardigan! Isn’t that… clever? At first, we thought this garment was only a skirt/cardigan (a “skirtigan”?) hybrid in the same way that ANY cardigan tied around the waist could be described as such. Upon closer inspection, however, we see the “belt” around the neckline and the “skirt” at the hem, which makes this the ingenious and versatile item it is, and totes justifies the $900 price tag, don’t you think? Want it? Then buy it!  

      sweaters with holes

      Holey Clothes: Riot sweaters by Risto Bimbiloski

      Just one wrong move… We somehow doubt they’ve invented the bra that will cater to the particular set of problems created by garments like these. (And bear in mind that if you’re not the same shape as the model – and most of us aren’t – you’ve no way of knowing just where those holes will fall!) And we thought backless dresses were a nuisance… [Click here to buy them]

      Moschino Cheap & Chic sweater

      Moschino Not-So-Cheap-or-Chic

      “No, seriously, I’m a size 0 – look how tiny my clothes are!” Well, that’s one way to try to trick people into thinking you wear a smaller size than you really do, we guess. And also a good way to make yourself look like you’ve been raiding the wardrobe of very tiny people. Win-win! [Click here to buy it at]

      mint green cable sweaters

      Designer Dupes: Mint cable sweaters by Acne and River Island

      Two sweaters, both alike in… colour. And cabling. Look, they’re both mint green cable sweaters, OK? What they’re not alike in, however, is price: the sweater on the right is Acne’s ‘Lia’ sweater, currently retailing for £220, while the one on the left is just £28 at good ol’ River Island. What explains the price difference? Well, one is cotton, and the other is acrylic, and there are no prizes for guessing which is which. But also, one is designer, the other high street, and as we know all too well, that counts for a lot in the world of fashion, too. Which would you buy? Are sweaters one of the items you think it’s worth investing in, making £220…

      Topshop 'Kate' sweater

      But what if your name isn’t “Kate”?

      They didn’t really think this through, did they? Or, on second thoughts, maybe they did: this ‘Kate’ sweater arrived on the Topshop website yesterday morning… and was sold out by 8pm. Are there really that many people called Kate out there? Did the Kates Moss and Middleton buy them all? Or are there now a ton of people who aren’t called ‘Kate’ walking around with someone else’s name on their sweater? Is it a reference to the Duchess of Cambridge? Do people really worship her THAT MUCH, if so? Explain it to us, please.

      square cardigan by Maison Martin Margiela

      It’s (Not) Hip to Be Square

      Maison Martin Margiela‘s square knitwear (and coats, and other items) have been around for a long time now (in fact, one of the items from that collection makes a guest appearance in our header!), but for some reason, we’d never actually seen one from the back. And now that we have… well, we kinda wish we hadn’t, to be completely honest, because seriously, who knew that this could possibly get worse? WHO KNEW?

      Miss Selfridge

      Winter Wardrobe Staple: Intarsia sweaters

      Just in case you haven’t noticed yet, it’s winter here in the Northern hemisphere. So what better to wear than a snuggly, fluffy sweater? With, you know, a giant animal emblazoned across the front. What do you mean, you don’t have a giant animal on the front of your fluffy sweater? Well, allow us to fix that for you by rounding some up for you and herding them into the Fashion Police courtroom, where you can judge them to your heart’s content. Intarsia sweaters are very much a winter staple for some people. From that first one your granny knitted you when you were a toddler, through all of the ones you got for Christmas, right up to the present…

      holiday sweater with snowman

      The Holiday Sweater Gets a High Fashion Makeover

      Remember Holiday Sweaters? Here, let us remind you: This kind of thing, yes? Until recently, holiday sweaters were the preserve of those poor unfortunates who were given one as a gift, and forced to wear it, lest they cause offence. Oh, and the Cosby family, obviously. Now, however, the humble holiday sweater is having a fashion renaissance, which means that this Christmas it’s going to be hard to tell the fashion victims from those rather earnest souls who wear light-up earrings in the shape of reindeer and drape pieces of tinsel around themselves in a bid to look “festive”. Or maybe not, because the new generation of holiday sweater is at least a little less garish, and a little more…

      Crime of Fashion? Halloween-themed clothes after Halloween

      We’re officially ready for Halloween to be over now. What do you mean, Halloween IS over? It can’t be! Not when people are still buying $2,020 witch sweaters from Net-a-Porter, anyway. Or even £28 “scary skeleton” sweaters from Topshop: These two items only appeared on their respective retailers’ websites after Halloween had been and gone, so either the spooky season is being dragged out for longer than usual this year, or witches, skeletons, and other such ghouls are suddenly the very height of fashion. We’re really not sure which is worse: Halloween lasting until Christmas, or people spending $2,000 on a holiday sweater. You tell us, then: is it a crime of fashion to keep on wearing Halloween-themed clothing after…

      Jayma Mays in a yellow horse print sweater from ASOS

      Style Stealer: Jayma Mays wears ASOS horse print sweater

      We love it when celebrities wear clothes from the high street: it allows us to pretend they’re just like us, really, even although we know they’re totally not. And it makes it much easier to copy them, if copying celebrity style is your thing. Is it? If so, you may be interested in rushing out and purchasing this ASOS horse-print sweater, as seen on Jayma Mays (Hey, remember when “ASOS” meant “As Seen on Screen”, and all of the clothes were “as seen on” celebrities? This was all fields, then. God, we feel old now. We bet there are people reading this who are so young they don’t even KNOW what “ASOS” stands for, just like there are people who…

      Hand knitted multicoloured top

      Daylight Robbery? Knitted gilet by SUNO

      So, this exists. And honestly, we didn’t even know what it WAS at first (that’s always a bad sign), we just knew it looked like something Coco the Clown might have worn as a nipper. That’s not a good sign either, now we come to think of it. What we mostly want to talk about here, however, is the price. See, this is £835, which is about $1,295. In its defence: 1. It’s hand-knitted 2. It’s alpaca wool. Even so, unless it was actually hand-knitted BY alpacas, we still can’t imagine spending that much on… this. Seriously, just imagine handing over over $1000 and walking away with this! To think of all of the awesome shoes you could get for…

      creepiest sweater in the world

      The Creepiest Shirt in the World: official

      “Oh, look!” we thought. “Net-a-Porter has started showing some of the clothes on headless mannequins! How weird!” Folks, that’s not a mannequin. And it’s thankfully not a model with her head missing. Those are gloves. And they’re attached to the sweater. We have SO MANY QUESTIONS HERE:


      New Fashion Trends 2011: The Single Sleeve

      (Single sleeved sweater, DSquared2, £175: click here to buy it) As anyone who owns a right arm knows, sometimes that thing just gets SO DARN HOT, doesn’t it? Seriously, are we right? Your left arm? Freezing. Your neck and torso? So cold you could make ice cubes out of them. (Although that would be weird.) But trust the ol’ right arm to upset the apple cart and demand to be left as naked as the day it was born, eh? And thank goodness for fashion brands like DSquared2, for finding an answer to the eternal problem of the right arm…and for finding a way to charge people £175 / $280 for it! Probably best not to mention to the people buying…

      marc jacobs circle sweater

      Fashion Boobs: Marc Jacobs’ circle sweater

      OK. It doesn’t look totally like a pair of breasts. Mostly because no one has skin that pattern. But look: there’s just no way you can put two large circles, with smaller circles inside ’em, right over your boobs and NOT prompt that comparison. And you can’t tell us that when Marc Jacobs came up with this one, he didn’t have a bit of a chuckle to himself and think, “Hehe! Boobies! I’m giving people fake boobies! And I’m charging them $800 for them!” For yes, readers, it’s true: this sweater costs $800. Or $878.16, to be exact. We think the joke is on whoever buys it, no? Because people may not say it, but they WILL be thinking it….

      JBNY finger pocket cardigan

      Hand shaped pockets for chilly fingers

      So JBNY, you think you’re being all quirky with your hand shaped pockets don’t you?  But we’re not fooled.  We know that this is just a stuck together crime of fashion.  We suppose this could be useful if you have forgotten your gloves, at least until you needed to move your hands away from your body to actually do anything that is.  Besides, who puts their hands in their pockets and spreads their fingers out like these pockets would force you to?  If you do, and this cardi is just the thing that’s been missing from your life, you can buy it at ASOS for £215.

      double cardigan

      Marni give us two cardigans for the price of one six

      We were going to say this cardigan was a “two for the price of one” deal, but it’s actually more like one for the price of six, because if we ever find ourselves paying £320 for a single cardigan, we’ll know we’ve either become rich beyond our wildest dreams, or been totally taken in by a Daylight Robbery criminal. If we ever find ourselves buying two cardigans that are physically attached to each other, meanwhile, we’ll know we’ve just lost our minds. What about you? Would you pay £320 for a pair of conjoined cardigans? Click here if so…


      Fashion Trends: Doggie Style at Dorothy Perkins

      Dog lovers of the world, rejoice: your pet pooch is going to be the very height of fashion this season – or at least, he will be at Dorothy Perkins, who’ve covered their new season knitwear with images of our furry friends. The pieces shown above are all in the region of £30, and most are available in a couple of different colours. What do you think? Do you adore the doggies, or would you have to be barking mad to consider these? (Sorry, sorry…) (Click here to buy them)

      Topshop navy rollneck jumper

      Shabby Chic takes over the fashion world

      So, the homeless look makes another appearance! There’s nothing like threadbare knitwear to get you noticed, eh? Now, this sweater may not look particularly bad in the great scheme of things and you’re right, it’s not.  It’s the principle we take issue with here. Really, what is it about worn-out clothing that appeals so strongly just now? The high street stores seem riddled with bobbly, worn-looking pieces that create the student look on not-so-student prices. Is it a knee-jerk reaction to the recent recession? Because, if so, we should probably be worrying about the fact that these clothes don’t cost any less than the shiny, fresh-from-the box versions. If it’s the distressed look you’re after, we can point you towards a charity shop…

      Next gathered back mesh waterfall cardigan

      Mullet Gathered back cardigan at Next

       Yes, folks, it’s the mother of all mullet garments: innocuous black cardigan in the front, strange butterfly fancy dress costume in the back.  Add to the lack of a proper back that the fact that it is practically see through, and it is going to be a long while before it is warm enough to use this as your cover up.  What do you think, though? If you can see the benefits of a cardi like this though, or you just have a penchant for dressing up as a butterfly, it will cost you £32 here.


      Y-3 Make Sweaters for the Fashion Jail Inmates

      Well, isn’t that thoughtful? Y-3 have created a sweater we can hand out to our fashion criminals when we finally let them out of jail, 23 years later, so they can, er, boast about their incarceration. Well, we say “hand them out”: they’re £609 each, and if we spent that amount on a sweater, we’d be forced to arrest ourselves, so, needless to say, that won’t be happening. If you want to pretend to have been in prison for 23 years, however, and you have £609 to spare, you can click here to buy one of these for yourself.

      Future Classics sleeveless open back reversible waistcoat

      Modelling is Hard: Future Classics edition

      This model looks confused.  She’s wearing something described as a sleeveless waistcoat (surely it wouldn’t be a waistcoat, it would be a cardigan if it wasn’t sleeveless?), but that’s not what’s confusing her.  Oh no.  She’s just caught sight of her back view in the mirror. Seems whoever knitted this got the pages stuck together in the pattern book and made half a waistcoat, half a v neck sweater. WIth a handy hole for your, er, back. What do you think ?  Do you want an open v neck on your back, or do you prefer your knitwear to be made from just the one pattern?


      The Plucked Ostrich Sweater

      Last winter, the trend was lots of fur, feathers, and basically anything else that would drive home the point that you were wearing a dead animal on your body. This year, however, it’s far cooler to look like you’re STILL wearing that animal, but it’s starting to look a little the worse for wear, hence the “plucked bird” effect.  What do you think: cosy and cute, or just… a little bit sad? (Click here to buy it)

      River Island brown dreadlock tassled cardigan

      Hairy clothes: River Island’s brown dreadlock tassel cardigan

      For those of you who looked at Tsumori Chisato’s fringed jacket and thought. “I’d have that – if only it weren’t $982…”, River Island have the answer. Their brown dreadlock tassel cardigan looks equally as though it has been made out of mop heads – but at £49.99 is a fraction of the price! Ideal, perhaps, for those who wish to try out the dreadlock look, but without the months of growing their hair but not actually washing or brushing it, this cardigan gives you all the benefits of Rasta chic without the heady scent usually associated with unwashed tresses. Plus, as previously mentioned, in a tight spot you could use your cardi to mop up any emergency spillages! Get…

      Topshop knitted rose metallic patchwork top

      A bad case of moths: Topshop patchwork top

      Topshop call this an open stitch chunky jumper, which is something of a hyperbole in itself. We”d question the use of the word “jumper” in this instance.  Aren’t jumpers supposed to keep you warm?  Bits of this would keep, well, bits of you warm, but that ‘open stitch’ is going to make the rest of you pretty chilly we would wager.  Plus you’ll have to deal with the gasps of horror and people asking “What happened to your sweater?” everywhere you go.  If that kind of thing doesn’t bother you though, and you’re happy to give Topshop £65 in return for half part of a sweater, then go right ahead.

      Topshop knitted reindeer jumper

      Style On Trial: Holiday sweater at Topshop

      Fair Isle prints and knits have been huge this season, and it was only a small hop from there to a fully fledged holiday sweater, complete with snowflakes and reindeer.  Well Topshop have made that leap and are offering up this reindeer sweater for your holiday wardrobes.  It’s certainly not the worst example of this kind of sweater we’ve seen, but do you feel the holiday sweater has a place in the world of fashion?  And would you pay £48 for a top that arguably has a limited wear period (pretty much just the month of December we’d say)? If you love this sweater, you can buy it here.

      Marc by Marc Jacobs Ida sweater dress

      Stuck-Together-Clothes Crimes: Marc Jacobs finally learns!

      At last!  A designer has sat up and taken notice of what we keep saying about sticking items of clothing together.  If you must do it (and really, is there any reason to do it?) designers, then please take heed of Mr Marc Jacobs.  For he has created a sweater and skirt and cuffs, stuck together only by buttons.  Buttons that unfasten, and give you three separate items of clothing.  We like it, Mr Jacobs.  The dress looks cute as an ensemble and each piece works separately too.  Is this a first?  Stuck together clothes that aren’t actually stuck together? We like this, but what do you think?  Would you buy a 3-in-1 or would you rather choose the pieces…

      Vanessa Bruno cashmere long cardigan

      Vanessa Bruno cashmere cardigan: Now with added shoulder straps

      Yes, this is exactly what it looks like: it’s a cashmere cardigan with a pair of braces (suspenders) sticking out of the top.  But these braces are not there to hold your trousers up.  Oh no.  These braces are to hold your cardigan up.  The cardigan you spent £260 of your English pounds on, presumably to keep you warm because, you know, it’s cashmere, only to find that it doesn’t actually cover your shoulders and therefore fails at that whole ‘keeping you warm’ thing.  The straps are there to ensure the cardigan doesn’t completely fall off you (and therefore fail at being a cardigan at all). What do you think though readers?  Do you prefer your slouchy knits to be…

      Nina Ricci cashmere lace top

      Stuck-Together-Clothes: Nina Ricci cashmere lace top

      You know what’s most black cardigans are missing?  A sheer, pink lace insert, designed to look like another cardigan underneath.  But wait…surely adding a sheer insert completely defeats the object of stuck-together-clothes (which would be to save you from having to decide what to wear underneath if there’s another layer already stuck in for you)?  By adding a sheer layer, it only ensure you have put something else underneath for the sake of common decency.  Unless, of course, Nina Ricci have decided to have a go at making a Boob Window, in which case, we’re arresting them for that too. Here’s an idea, rather than spending £638 on this cardi with the pointless insert, how about you go and buy an…


      The Holiday Sweater Gets a Fashion Makeover, Courtesy of Andrea Crews

      If you’ve been reading this site for a long, long, time, you’ll already know that we hate holiday sweaters. And actually, even if you’ve only been reading this site for a short, short time, it’s the kind of thing you could probably have worked out for yourselves, isn’t it? As well as straying deeply into Dress Like a Toddler territory, most holiday sweaters are garish, ugly, and very much the kind of thing children’s TV presenters used to wear back in the 80s. None of this bodes well. Now, however, the holiday sweater is a fashion statement. We know this, because designers have started to make them, and as every good fashion victim knows, if it has a designer label…

      Sonia Rykiel two piece cardigan dress

      Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Sonia Rykiel two piece cardigan dress

      At first glance this is just an innocuous oversize cardigan.  But of course it’s not though, is it?  Because we wouldn’t be showing it to you if that was all it was.  No, this is an oversize cardigan with a piece of velvet stitched into the v neck.  Sonia Rykiel thinks her customers are not bright enough to work out for themselves that they could put a grey sweater over a black top.  Not only does it look like you forgot to put on your trousers, you also can’t remove the cardi if you get too warm.  And on the flip side, why would you want a cardi that you can’t layer over another top?  Surely the reason most people…

      Camilla and Marc boucle-wool cardi

      Shabby chic or just plain shabby? Camilla and Marc Watch and Wait boucle-wool cardigan

      Hmmm… Is it just us, or does this cardigan look like the moths have had a field day feasting on it? There’s nothing more annoying at this time of year than pulling your favourite winter-weight sweaters out of storage only to find them looking bobbly, crushed, moth-eaten, and generally a little limp. But hey, if Camilla and Marc can label up bobbly, crushed, moth-eaten and limp with a £400 price tag, perhaps we won’t be quite so hasty to bin last year’s favourite winter warmers! We’re actually grateful to Camilla and Marc for providing us with a valid excuse to hold on to old faithful! Camilla and Marc Watch and Wait bouclé-wool cardigan, £400 from Net-a-Porter.

      The Yeti Sweater

      Yeti Style: Roberto Cavalli wool and fur sweater

      When Chanel sent models dressed as yetis down the runway as part of their Winter 2010 show, we thought, “Haha, very funny, Uncle Karl, but that’ll never catch on.” Now here we are, a few short months later, showing you a cropped sweater with arms like a teddy bear’s.  (You know, for all those times when your arms are freezing, but your belly just begs to be on show?) And it’s not the first time this has happened recently, either. Just goes to show what we know, eh? Roberto Cavalli’s cropped sweater is 100% cashmere combined with real fur, so as well as enraging Peta, it’ll probably also enrage your bank manager, given that it’ll cost you £710 / $1,132….


      Graeme Armour’s $2000 “sweater”

      The inverted commas in the title are there for a reason. We hesitate to describe this as Daylight Robbery, because we have absolutely no idea how much work goes into creating something like this: it could take magical unicorns three years to create each garment for all we know. (We really hope so.) We will take issue with the word “sweater”, though. That’s no “sweater”, Colette. That’s a pair of sleeves held together with thread… (Click here to buy it)

      marios peluche sweater from Topshop

      Dress Like a Teddy Bear: Marios peluche sweater at Topshop

      Peluche, or “plush”: it’s that particular kind of fake fur that stuffed animals are made from. And which £300 sweaters are made from, too. We can’t decide whether this is a great response to a freezing winter, or whether it’s just a great (if expensive) way to dress as a giant teddy for Halloween. Oh, OK, we can decide. But we want to know what you think too, so what say you to the £300 teddy suit? Tell us! (Click here to buy it)


      Miharayasuhiro’s $873 sweater: distressing

      Aww, man! Don’t you just HATE it when this happens? You get your £571 / $873 designer sweater home, and then the very first time you wear it, it starts to unravel on you! Gah. Browns describe this as “distressed”. Well, it’s certainly distressed US all right, because seriously: even without the holes, WHO would pay almost $900 for an ordinary looking beige sweater? WHO? (If it’s you, click here to buy it.)


      Double the crime, double the price: TAO sweater with handbag detail

      At first glance, we assumed this was a simple case of Stuck-Together-Clothes. Upon re-examination of the evidence, however, we’re just not convinced that the handbag stuck to the front of this sweater has any real function other than a decorative one, so we now have to conclude that it’s just ugly. (Which is kind of disappointing actually, because if it had been a handbag AND a sweater, that would have at least helped explain the $895 price tag. Double the crime, double the price, after all…) Or is it? We guess if you really like handbags – and this one in particular – you might find this the perfect way to demonstrate that love. To wear your handbag close to…

      River Island grey laddered cowl neck

      Style on Trial: Cowl necks for men

      What do you think of cowl neck sweaters for men?  We love a man in a polo neck or a v neck, or even a classic crew neck for that matter.  We weren’t even aware cowl necks for men existed in the real world (undoubtedly Mark from Ugly Betty will have worn one at some point) until we spotted a couple of options whilst browsing the men’s collection at River Island.  The image above is one example.  We can’t think that we have ever seen a man on the street in a cowl neck and we are not sure we like the idea very much. But what do you think?  Are cowl necks the next big thing in menswear?  Or…