strange sweaters

      Not Your Average Sweaters

      It’s sweater weather! No doubt you’ll have already seen a million fashion editorials, and a million-and-one blog posts helpfully informing you of this very fact. Gone are the days when the humble sweater was the “sensible” choice for a cold day, however. No, today’s sweaters are fashion-forward, edgy and unique. And probably not much use on a cold day, come to think of it. Take a look at this suspect, for instance: Costume National Wool Vest, $999 We guess you could layer something under it if you actually wanted to beat the chill in it? You’d still look and feel like you were in a cocoon, obviously, but maybe that’s the point? Along somewhat similar lines, but with fewer cutouts,…

      festive dressing

      The Christmas Sweater gets trendy. Sort of.

      Santa sleep tee, Topshop Once upon a time, Christmas sweaters were the kind of items that were worn just once a year (Christmas Day itself), and normally out of a sense of obligation: well, if someone had gone to the trouble of knitting one for you, the least you could do was to wear the thing for a few hours, huh? Now, however, things have changed for the Christmas sweater. Once the inspiration behind many an “Ugly Sweater” party, Christmas sweaters have now taken their place in our stores, and in our closets, and are being worn un-ironically, and by people who generally consider themselves to be “fashionable”. It may only be the middle of November, but we’ve already seen…


      Style Trial | Fluffy fashion from Topshop

      All items available at Topshop We had a lot of love for Topshop’s fluffy knitwear a few weeks ago, but we’re a little less enamoured with some of the latest fluffy fashions to hit our favourite website. With their lurid colours and long-haired wool, these pieces have more in common with The Muppets than they do with Lana del Rey and other fuzzy sweater-wearers: in fact the neon green number could work pretty well as a part of a last-minute Kermit the Frog Halloween costume, if you can just find some matching bottoms. Do you hold it against them, though? Well, let’s see: The case for the prosecution: 1. They’re (mostly) neon. Neon may well be fashionable at the moment,…

      Louche 'Ivy' bow cardigans

      High Street Shopping: Louche ‘Ivy’ bow cardigans

      Louche ‘Ivy’ bow cardigans, £29 The Fashion Police are big fans of the humble cardigan. They keep you warm when it’s cold out (well, d’uh!), dress down too-fancy outfits, and make strappy dresses and tops suddenly appropriate for all kinds of settings they’d otherwise have been deemed semi-scandalous in. Honestly, we’d be lost without them. In fact, we feel like we should award them some kind of medal for services to style. We’ll look into that. Good cardigans, however, as is always the case with many of those so-called “wardrobe essentials” can be hard to find, (And why is it that the simplest things are always the trickiest to track down, anyway?) which is why we were so happy to…

      designer holiday sweaters

      The holiday sweater goes designer

      Holiday sweaters. For some people, they will always be the horrid, scratchy things they were forced to wear every Christmas morning, and were begging to be released from by the time the turkey was on the table. For others, however, they’re a designer fashion statement, and a chance to splash some serious cash on the kind of knitwear that wouldn’t look out of place at an ugly sweater party. The ones pictured here are by the likes of Stella McCartney, Markus Lupfer and Moschino, and we’re hoping they’re REALLY impressive up close, because as you read this, little old ladies around the world are looking at this post, clutching their knitting needles and hearing cash registers ringing in their ears….

      Primark Pow Sweater

      High Street Shopping: Primark ‘Pow!’ sweater

      Move over Marcus Lupfer… Primark jumped right on the comic book trend with their ‘Pow!” sweater, which will set you back all of £14 (unlike the designer version, which was over £300). We hate to use the phrase “on trend”, so instead we’ll simply note that this will certainly help keep you cosy as the nights draw in. Sadly, Primark are yet to launch an ecommerce website, so you’ll need to track this one down in store….

      crime of fashion

      Winter woolies, fashion criminal style

      Well, as long as your thighs are warm, who cares about freezing your butt and back? That seems to be the thinking behind this item, anyway. And really, this isn’t so much a fashion crime as it is a fashion mystery: the kind of thing that makes us shake our head and wonder who on earth would look at something like this and think, “£125? Oh HELL yes: this is just the thing that’s missing from my life!” Would you? [Buy it]

      crime of fashion

      Modelling is Hard: Maison Martin Margiela edition

      This outfit is one of those things that just gets stranger, and more confusing, the longer you look at it. At first you think it’s just a simple pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater, and who could possibly object to that? Then you notice that although the model’s head has been cut off (Not by us, we hasten to add. Our officers are authorised to use force if necessary when arresting fashion criminals  but not THAT much force…), whoever did it has failed to disguise that the turtleneck comes all the way up to her eyes: How can she breathe under there? How can she hear? Or speak? Does her union rep know about any of this? Then you realise…

      Bless turtleneck sweaters

      Strange Sweaters from Bless

      “Gosh!” we thought, “It’s not like our old friends at Bless to make an item of clothing that looks, well, ordinary. We’re more used to seeing hairy shoes, strange, off-the-shoulder suit jackets, and who could forget the Ra Multispaghetti dress? But these… these look like regular turtleneck sweaters!” Sigh. At least some things never change, eh? Of course, you don’t have to be in the Fashion Police detective squad to see what happened here. Obviously one sweater stole the back right off the other one. And turned it into a … knapsack? A cape? We have no idea. The good news is that there’s really only one fashion criminal in this post: the yellow sweater is guilty as sin. Its blue…

      Acne Gladys light sweater

      Unsolved Mysteries: Acne ‘Gladys Light’ grey sweater

      Something’s missing here. Over the years we’ve been policing the world of fashion, we’ve come to the conclusion that  fashion victims live in a completely different climate from the rest of us. In fashion land, it’s always warm enough for shorts… but also cold enough for boots. It’s cold enough for the fashionista’s favourite thing – LAYERING, and LOTS OF IT – but at the same time warm enough for bare legs and sandals. And today we learn that in the land of the fashionable, it’s often cold enough to need a thick-knick sweater… but simultaneously so warm that you’d want to hack a huge square out of the front of it, exposing your naked body from nipple to clavicle….

      glove sleeve sweater

      Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: Glove Sleeve Sweater

      As far as Stuck Together Clothes Crimes go, sweaters with attached gloves have to be amongst the most hilarious. Seriously, can YOU look at the image above and keep a straight face? We’re impressed, if so. As chucklesome as this is, though, the fact remains that most glove sweaters are the type your mother used to DIY for you when you were a kid, i.e. the gloves can be removed, which makes the item just a bit unnecessary (unless you’re REALLY prone to losing your gloves, obviously, but even if you are, do you really want to have to wear the same sweater day after day, just so you can attach them to it? Thought not.), as opposed to being…

      cheap knitwear

      Wanted! Cute, cheap knitwear

      [Image: A|Wear] Knitwear: it’s one of those wardrobe staples, especially at this time of year, as the weather starts to turn colder, and our closets start to fill up with winter woolies. Is it too much to ask  that it actually be cute, though? Well, thankfully not: we’ve rounded up some of our favourite pieces of knitwear for the coming season – take a look and see what we’ve found! 40s style angora cardigans: 40 euros at A|Wear Now, we have to admit to being a little confused by the concept of short-sleeved sweaters. They’re cute, sure, but it can be hard to know when to wear them, because when it’s cold enough for sweaters, it’s normally too cold for…

      Sonia Rykiel eye sweater

      Bad fashion is watching you…

      This is a sweater. We know. The good news is it’s already sold out, so there’s no chance of anyone buying it and actually wearing it. (Or, wait: maybe that’s the bad news, because it means people are already wearing it?) The bad news, meanwhile, is that it may be sold out, but it’s still watching you. And it will no doubt be appearing in your nightmares tonight. Have a good weekend!

      comme des garcons glove sweater

      Comme des Garcons make sure we never forget our gloves again

      Remember when you were a little kid and your mother would sew your gloves into the sleeves of your coat, so you didn’t leave them behind anywhere? Think of Comme des Garcons as your mother. And think of this £244 sweater as your coat. Now think of yourself as a fashion victim, because you just spent all that money on a plain black shirt with a pair of gloves attached to it, just because it was OMGDESIGNER… [Click here to buy it]

      Bless Mitchelin sweater

      Meet the Mitchelin Woman…

      This post WAS supposed to be about Bless’s aptly-named ‘Mitchelin’ sweater, but actually, now we come to write it, all we can think about is those shoes. Oh, those shoes! The peep-toe boot rule is in full effect here, but honestly, we think the model is probably using the gargatuan sweater purely as a distraction technique, to draw our eyes away from those Frankenshoes. And we don’t blame her. We think the original £708 was maybe a little steep for this sweater (Although, mind you, it’ll definitely keep you warm. And you won’t have to buy any more sweaters ever again, because this sweater is like twenty sweaters.) but perhaps the sale price of £354 will make it more appealing…

      skirt cardigan

      Skirt… or cardigan? You choose!

      Is it a skirt? Or is it a cardigan? It’s both! One minute it’s a really ugly skirt: But the next minute? It’s a cardigan! Isn’t that… clever? At first, we thought this garment was only a skirt/cardigan (a “skirtigan”?) hybrid in the same way that ANY cardigan tied around the waist could be described as such. Upon closer inspection, however, we see the “belt” around the neckline and the “skirt” at the hem, which makes this the ingenious and versatile item it is, and totes justifies the $900 price tag, don’t you think? Want it? Then buy it!  

      sweaters with holes

      Holey Clothes: Riot sweaters by Risto Bimbiloski

      Just one wrong move… We somehow doubt they’ve invented the bra that will cater to the particular set of problems created by garments like these. (And bear in mind that if you’re not the same shape as the model – and most of us aren’t – you’ve no way of knowing just where those holes will fall!) And we thought backless dresses were a nuisance… [Click here to buy them]

      Moschino Cheap & Chic sweater

      Moschino Not-So-Cheap-or-Chic

      “No, seriously, I’m a size 0 – look how tiny my clothes are!” Well, that’s one way to try to trick people into thinking you wear a smaller size than you really do, we guess. And also a good way to make yourself look like you’ve been raiding the wardrobe of very tiny people. Win-win! [Click here to buy it at]

      mint green cable sweaters

      Designer Dupes: Mint cable sweaters by Acne and River Island

      Two sweaters, both alike in… colour. And cabling. Look, they’re both mint green cable sweaters, OK? What they’re not alike in, however, is price: the sweater on the right is Acne’s ‘Lia’ sweater, currently retailing for £220, while the one on the left is just £28 at good ol’ River Island. What explains the price difference? Well, one is cotton, and the other is acrylic, and there are no prizes for guessing which is which. But also, one is designer, the other high street, and as we know all too well, that counts for a lot in the world of fashion, too. Which would you buy? Are sweaters one of the items you think it’s worth investing in, making £220…

      Topshop 'Kate' sweater

      But what if your name isn’t “Kate”?

      They didn’t really think this through, did they? Or, on second thoughts, maybe they did: this ‘Kate’ sweater arrived on the Topshop website yesterday morning… and was sold out by 8pm. Are there really that many people called Kate out there? Did the Kates Moss and Middleton buy them all? Or are there now a ton of people who aren’t called ‘Kate’ walking around with someone else’s name on their sweater? Is it a reference to the Duchess of Cambridge? Do people really worship her THAT MUCH, if so? Explain it to us, please.

      square cardigan by Maison Martin Margiela

      It’s (Not) Hip to Be Square

      Maison Martin Margiela‘s square knitwear (and coats, and other items) have been around for a long time now (in fact, one of the items from that collection makes a guest appearance in our header!), but for some reason, we’d never actually seen one from the back. And now that we have… well, we kinda wish we hadn’t, to be completely honest, because seriously, who knew that this could possibly get worse? WHO KNEW?

      Miss Selfridge

      Winter Wardrobe Staple: Intarsia sweaters

      Just in case you haven’t noticed yet, it’s winter here in the Northern hemisphere. So what better to wear than a snuggly, fluffy sweater? With, you know, a giant animal emblazoned across the front. What do you mean, you don’t have a giant animal on the front of your fluffy sweater? Well, allow us to fix that for you by rounding some up for you and herding them into the Fashion Police courtroom, where you can judge them to your heart’s content. Intarsia sweaters are very much a winter staple for some people. From that first one your granny knitted you when you were a toddler, through all of the ones you got for Christmas, right up to the present…

      holiday sweater with snowman

      The Holiday Sweater Gets a High Fashion Makeover

      Remember Holiday Sweaters? Here, let us remind you: This kind of thing, yes? Until recently, holiday sweaters were the preserve of those poor unfortunates who were given one as a gift, and forced to wear it, lest they cause offence. Oh, and the Cosby family, obviously. Now, however, the humble holiday sweater is having a fashion renaissance, which means that this Christmas it’s going to be hard to tell the fashion victims from those rather earnest souls who wear light-up earrings in the shape of reindeer and drape pieces of tinsel around themselves in a bid to look “festive”. Or maybe not, because the new generation of holiday sweater is at least a little less garish, and a little more…

      Crime of Fashion? Halloween-themed clothes after Halloween

      We’re officially ready for Halloween to be over now. What do you mean, Halloween IS over? It can’t be! Not when people are still buying $2,020 witch sweaters from Net-a-Porter, anyway. Or even £28 “scary skeleton” sweaters from Topshop: These two items only appeared on their respective retailers’ websites after Halloween had been and gone, so either the spooky season is being dragged out for longer than usual this year, or witches, skeletons, and other such ghouls are suddenly the very height of fashion. We’re really not sure which is worse: Halloween lasting until Christmas, or people spending $2,000 on a holiday sweater. You tell us, then: is it a crime of fashion to keep on wearing Halloween-themed clothing after…

      Jayma Mays in a yellow horse print sweater from ASOS

      Style Stealer: Jayma Mays wears ASOS horse print sweater

      We love it when celebrities wear clothes from the high street: it allows us to pretend they’re just like us, really, even although we know they’re totally not. And it makes it much easier to copy them, if copying celebrity style is your thing. Is it? If so, you may be interested in rushing out and purchasing this ASOS horse-print sweater, as seen on Jayma Mays (Hey, remember when “ASOS” meant “As Seen on Screen”, and all of the clothes were “as seen on” celebrities? This was all fields, then. God, we feel old now. We bet there are people reading this who are so young they don’t even KNOW what “ASOS” stands for, just like there are people who…

      Hand knitted multicoloured top

      Daylight Robbery? Knitted gilet by SUNO

      So, this exists. And honestly, we didn’t even know what it WAS at first (that’s always a bad sign), we just knew it looked like something Coco the Clown might have worn as a nipper. That’s not a good sign either, now we come to think of it. What we mostly want to talk about here, however, is the price. See, this is £835, which is about $1,295. In its defence: 1. It’s hand-knitted 2. It’s alpaca wool. Even so, unless it was actually hand-knitted BY alpacas, we still can’t imagine spending that much on… this. Seriously, just imagine handing over over $1000 and walking away with this! To think of all of the awesome shoes you could get for…