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Archive for the ‘Jeans’ Category
 No So Fine We don’t know about you, but as bad as dropped-crotches are, we always thing they look so much worse in a rigid fabric like denim. If the crotch must be dropped, let it be dropped as part of some kind of loose, flowing garment, where it’ll at least look intentional, rather than on a pair of jeans like these, which just look ill-fitting and uncomfortable.
Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, yes, the fly is supposed to be off-centre like that. Imagine these worn with the Comme des Garcons shirt we showed you yesterday: head-to-toe wardrobe malfunction!
These are by Superfine, they’re $306 and they’re available at Shopbop.
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
 Shredded Skinnies This is what happens when you paddling with piranhas, folks: let this be a lesson to us all. And let this model thank Gaga that it was her jeans that bore the brunt of the attack, not her legs.
It’s also interesting to note that the “Peep Toe Boot Rule” we spoke of on Friday is in effect here: the evidence in favour of our theory is growing!
[Product Page]
Friday, February 19th, 2010
 Balloon Jeans
We don’t know about you, readers, but we think we liked the world better when it didn’t have “balloon jeans” in it. In fact, we’d probably like it even more if there was no possibility of the word “balloon” EVER being used to describe an item of clothing. Ever.
We are reassured, however, by the fact that almost every time we identify a crime of fashion these days, the model is generally ALSO wearing a pair of peep-toe boots with it. It’s like a kind of code used by stylists to indicate that there’s a fashion crime being committed – other than the peep toe boots themselves, that is.
Also: we’re starting to feel that there isn’t an item of clothing in the world that can’t be made worse by the simple addition of a pair of peep toe boots. We think we need to move these items much further up our Hit List in light of this..
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
 Drop crotch criminals have found a new king, readers. We were alerted to this by Fashion Police reader Liz, and we immediately put out an APB on them, but we fear it may be too late: these pants are already out there, and they’re making all other drop crotch pants look good in comparison. This makes them perhaps the most dangerous criminals the Fashion Police have ever had to deal with – and the fact that these actually looks more like a denim jacket turned upside down and worn as pants than actual pants also makes us worry about copycat crimes. That’s without even getting into the whole “let’s style them with a pair of rain boots!” thing.
If you see these pants, readers, please: don’t approach them. They may be dangerous. Just call the Fashion Police: we’ll do our best to bring them in…
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Thursday, January 7th, 2010
 We’re sure we can’t be the only ones who managed to over-indulge over the Christmas period: in fact, the Fashion Police HQ is still so full of chocolate that we’ve been shunning jeans altogether in favour of more forgiving dresses (and, OK, dressing gowns. Shhh!).
There is, however, a brand of jeans designed for just this dilemma, and which claim to make you look slimmer into the bargain. They’re called Skinny Jeans (not to be confused with the “skinny jeans” we normally talk about here, which come with drainpipe legs, but don’t necessarily make you LOOK skinny: in fact, sometimes they do quite the opposite!), and they have a whole bunch of slimline features, from super-stretchy denim that’ll hold you in just like shape-wear, and won’t lose its shape, to clever “restraining panel” for the stomach, and clever fading and shading to create the illusion of long, shapely legs. Even more impressive to those of us who’re used to having to have jeans altered to fit, they’re also available in a range of inseams and waist sizes, for the perfect size.
Do they work, though? Well, there are some enthusiastic testimonials on the site, but seeing is believing: if you want to try them out for yourself, they’re $178 from here - or, if you’re in the UK, you can order a pair here.
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
 Denim romper suit It looks like the fashion criminals of the world are setting the bar high this year, as we kick off the month with this denim romper suit by Free People, which features one of our least-favourite things: elasticated cuffs. Which stop at the knee.
We’ve always been of the opinion that if it can be described using the word “romper”, it has no place on an adult, but if you disagree, you can pick this up at Free People, where it’s £60.76.
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
 On the one hand, we’re pleased to see that the holes that’ve been popping up in clothes recently have started to take some kind of shape – and a nice one, at that. Come on, you all know how much we like bows!
On the other hand, though: way to make our calves look bigger than they are, Topshop! And to give them an odd, “ridged” look when viewed from the front!
So we’re undecided about these. We’re guessing the addition of socks in a contrasting colour underneath could make these quite interesting, but then again, they’d have to be knee-high and very thin to fit under those skinny legs, and tights-under-jeans are one of those things we just don’t like, so we’re thinking cold legs, with blue-coloured bows on them would probably be the order of the day here.
What do you think, though? If you like them, they’re £50 from Topshop.
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
Denim joggers. De-nim jog-gers. Denim. Joggers.
No, it’s no use: no matter how you say it, it’s still appalling.
On a more positive note, it was heartening to find out that most of you are firmly against the “Wear sweatpants with heels! It’ll be totes stylish!” diktat handed down by UK Vogue this month. It gives us hope that no one will actually think denim joggers are a good idea either, with or without heels.
Can we rely on your support on this one, readers?
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
 The Fashion Police hold these truths to be self-evident:
1. That no one’s flesh looks good pooling out of multiple holes in the fabric of their clothes. No, not even models.
2. That “creatively” ripped jeans always end up looking like you left your clothes in the care of a particularly malicious teenager with a pair of scissors.
3. That these will create some pretty interesting tan lines if you wear them in summer. In winter, welcome to pale blue, mottled flesh. Lovely.
The Fashion Police are starting to feel increasingly alone in this, however, and Tripp NYC in particular seem hell-bent on proving to us that if they make ugly jeans, people will buy them. If you’re one of those people, these are $48 from Karmaloop.
Monday, October 26th, 2009
Oh no! Look, this poor model – she must’ve fallen asleep on the job or something, and “hilarious” pranksters have snuck up on her and signed her white skinny jeans, as if they were plaster casts! If only The Fashion Police had been in the area at the time, we could’ve caught these fashion criminals in the act, but don’t worry, at least we’ll be able to read their names and track them down. Now, let’s see: Elle… Cindy… Heidi…Milla…Kate…Tyra… OMG! Supermodels have defaced these jeans! Supermodels who should know better, and show some respect for clothes! We’re horrified.
Would you wear these jeans? Bearing in mind that we totally made up the above scenario and the jeans are actually made with the signatures printed on them? We can’t help but feel that walking around with supermodel names on our thighs would just be like issuing an invitation to people to compare said thighs with Cindy, Kate, Elle, et al : and, of course, it would also be an invitation to people to walk up to you and say, “Oh my God, someone’s written all over your jeans!”
But what do you think, readers? Fashion crime? Cool way to show how much you love the supers? Tell us!
Ksubi super-skinny white jeans, £149
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