Fashion Crime Friday | Hands on your head

In this week’s Fashion Crime roundup, we discover that the whole “strange and expensive headgear” trend is still going strong:

strange headband

[Buy it here for £284]

Suspect # 1 | The Hand on Your Head

We say “trend”. This isn’t a trend in the true sense of the world: or, at least, we hope not. What we mean by that is that it’s highly unlikely we’ll start to see people going about their business while wearing a £300 hand headband (And Handband?)…. and yet designers keep on producing stuff like this. Remember those Piers Atkinson baseball caps we featured a while back? We didn’t see anyone walking around town in those either, so who’s buying this stuff? We cam imagine wearing something like this on Halloween, say, or if we woke up as Lady Gaga one morning, but… that’s it. And yet, here we are, looking at a £284 headband with a giant hand attached to it: a mystery.

shredded shorts

[Buy them here for $56]

Suspect # 2 | The Shredded Shorts

These are… quite possibly the worst thing we’ve ever arrested, period. And we’re afraid this one isn’t up for debate, fashion force: this is an outright crime of fashion. Agreed?

ugly harem pants

[Buy them here for $145]

Suspect # 3 |  The Long and the Short of It

As far as we’re concerned, the one thing harem pants have going for them is the fact that they’re comfortable. (Or so we hear, anyway. Not even that would convince us to actually BUY a pair, but, you know…) These ones, however, don’t even have that going for them, because how could you possibly be comfortable with the legs of your pants all lopsided like that? Not to mention the odd “gathered” detail at the back of one knee?

Aaaand, that wraps it up for this week, folks: try not to have nightmares!


  • June 13, 2014


    Ach, dang it, those “shredded shorts” look like they used to be exactly the kind of jeans I have been looking for for YEARS! Why did they have to do this to them??? GAAAAAHHH!

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  • June 25, 2014

    Bally Chohan

    May be people are wearing this, but I didn’t like this. It will look cool without without shredded.
    Bally Chohan

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  • September 4, 2014


    Suspect 1: I can totally see this being worn by a lady to one of those famous horse racing events in the UK where they have a tradition of outrageous hats being worn by the ladies.

    Suspect 2: It would be cheaper to cut it up by yourself.

    Suspect 3: The manufacturer of this piece surely needed a loss leader product to help lower their taxes. What a waste of material.

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