Handbags

The Handbag Raincoat: for rainy days and designer bags

Handbag raincoat, $30 When we first saw the image above, we assumed the handbag underneath the cover was in disguise. What kind of fashion criminal was this, we wondered, that needed such protection from prying eyes? Or perhaps it was a fellow undercover cop – who just happened to be taking the word “undercover” a little too literally? Actually, however, the answer is a little less exciting than that. This, you see, is a handbag raincoat – which is exactly what it sounds like: it’s a raincoat for your handbag. What’s that we hear you say? It sounds like a waste of money? Well, it probably would be if your handbag came from Primark, say, or some other budget retailer…

this is not a Moschino t-shirt

This is not a Moschino t-shirt, it’s a possible crime of fashion

This is Not a Moschino T-Shirt, £860 At this point, policing the world of Moschino feels a little bit like shooting fishing in a barrel: it’s almost like they WANT to be caught by The Fashion Police, isn’t it? Still, we swore a solemn oath to fight crimes of fashion (You should see the Fashion Police swearing-in ceremony: it’s more fun than the MET Gala, seriously…), and we’ll continue to do that, even when we suspect the criminals are deliberately provoking us. Which brings us to this bag, which is NOT – we repeat, NOT – a Moschino t-shirt. Moschino have been working this schtick for a while now, using a heavy dose of self-reflexive irony to gently poke fun…

Anya Hindmarch’s cereal packet and laundry detergent clutch bags

[Buy them here] “Wait a minute,” you’re probably thinking. Why are The Fashion Police showing me photos of cereal packets? This isn’t a breakfast blog! This isn’t what I signed up for! Where are the fashion crimes?” Guys, you’re looking at them. Or not, depending on your point of view. These, you see, are no cereal packets. They’re clutch bags – and expensive ones, too – which are just designed to LOOK like cereal packets. So, basically, for the price of just £995, you can look like you’re walking around carrying a box of Corn Flakes. OR… and bear with us here… for the price of an ACTUAL box of Corn Flakes, you really CAN walk around carrying a box…

Six Quirky Clutch Bags

This season, clutch bags are getting quirky. Or quirkier than usual, that is. The fact is that clutches have always had a tendency to be a little more creative than the handbags you carry to work, or while travelling, for instance, but lately we’ve been noticing an increase in the level of whimsy from this end of the accessories market. No longer is it enough for a clutch bag to be simple, stylish and just large enough to hold your lipstick, cellphone and keys: now it has to look like something else entirely – and ideally something edible, if the images above are anything to go by. Of course, these styles are nothing new – Olympia Le-Tan’s “book” bags, for…

High Street Vs High-End | Camera clutch bags by Charlotte Olympia and Accessorize

They’re not identical, they’re not even the same type of bag (One’s a clutch, one’s a cross-body bag, but the latter could probably be carried like a clutch too, if you wanted to), but ultimately these are both bags designed to look like cameras, which makes us wonder: Which is your favourite, and which would you buy? The bag on the left is just £25 from Accessorize [buy it here]: it’s the cross-body version, but as we mentioned above, although it’s larger than the high-end option, you could probably tuck the chain inside and carry it clutch-style. It has a gold body with a matching strap, and is one of a few quirky clutches available at Accessorize right now. (We’re partial…

Festive fashion with Kotur’s $450 tinsel clutch bag

Kotur ‘Margo’, $450 Is anyone else seeing a clump of gold tinsel with some Christmas bells thrown in, a bit like the kind of home-made decorations you might have made as a kid – or maybe even now, depending on your decorating style? If you answered “yes” to that, you may well be in the minority: apparently at least some people out there are seeing a $450 designer clutch bag, which they’re just desperate to get their hands on – this appeared in Net-a-Porter’s “new in” section this morning, but is already sold out at the the time of writing. Of course, it could be that NAP only ever had a couple of these in stock, but even so, that’s…

perfume clutch

Bags of Style? Charlotte Olympia’s quirky clutch bags

All clutch bags by Charlotte Olympia Charlotte Olympia may be best known for wacky footwear (ShoeperWoman has blogged about a whole lot of them), but the brand also has an interesting line in clutch bags, ranging from the quirky to the downright cookie. The movie theme is strong in this season’s collection, and you can choose to carry around a clapperboard, a box of popcorn or an issue of Silver Screen magazine. If the movies aren’t your thing, however, you can also choose to cart your phone, lipstick and other essentials inside a giant perfume bottle or, well, a pink poodle. Everyone loves a poodle clutch, right? RIGHT? What do you think? DO you love poodles, popcorn and perfume enough…

handcuffs bag

Don’t take it to the airport: Vlieger & Vandam ‘Guardian’ gun clutch

Well, this will at least guarantee you a more “interesting” than usual trip through security, no? Now, we’ve never found gun-related fashion to be in particularly great taste. This, on the other hand… …could just be an essential component of the Fashion Police uniform. Well, how else do you think we’re going to apprehend those fashion criminals? [Buy them]

Meadham Kirchhoff teddy bear bag

Meadham Kirchhoff turn teddy bear into bag, Fashion Police horrified

The Fashion Police are completely unable to pass judgement on this bag. You see, the Chief of Police has a teddy bear just like this. (As in, it’s like the teddy bear part. It doesn’t have a flap or a handle, needless to say.) Seriously, it’s JUST LIKE IT. Which makes this bag… distressing, to say the least. Well, how would YOU like seeing one of YOUR loved ones turned into a handbag? Yeah, it’s not so funny NOW, is it? What were Meadham Kirchhoff THINKING when they decided to skin a soft toy in the name of fashion? Imagine the small children (and, er, Fashion Police editors…) who will be traumatised by this! Just look at its poor, panicked…

distressed handbag

Fashion Ripper targets Free People handbag

It’s been a long time since we last came up against our old nemesis, Jack the (Fashion) Ripper, but late last night our officers attended the crime scene shown above, and, well, the images speak for themselves, don’t they? We’ve no idea what these bags did to deserve the mauling they received at the hands of the ripper: all we can say is that we hope to goodness some of you find them interesting and edgy, rather than “ripped apart” and “scruffy”, because how else will they sell for the £350 asking price? DO you find them interesting and edgy? Would you buy one? If you would, you’ll find them at Free People, in a range of colours. [Buy them]

Anna Wintour Karl Lagerfeld bags

Bring us the heads of Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld…

Who wants to carry the disembodied heads of fashion heavyweights, like Karl Lagerfeld or Anna Wintour, slung over their shoulder all day? Wait, that was a stupid question, wasn’t it? Because, seriously, who DOESN’T want to do that? Well, now you can. But it’ll cost ‘ya. It’ll cost ya $646, to be exact. Worth it? It’s up to you to decide. If you think it most definitely IS, though, you can click here to buy these (and David Bowie, whose disembodied head is also represented) at Colette.

wig bag

How to get ahead in fashion

From the product description: “The intention of this piece is to simulate a person carrying a human head, it is meant to arouse curiosity and induce interesting reactions from passers-by, the humour in the psychology of this process was intentional.” In other words, if you don’t like this, you just don’t understand fashion. Also, you’re probably old. And fat. And all of the other things fashion victims like to tell us when they’re defending their favourite designers. At least you’ll be £1,600 better off than the people who buy one of these, though… Suspect: Wig Bag by 123BLUEGUYLOVE, £1610: click here to buy it.  

Olympia Le Tan Wiagra box bag

Style Trial: Olympia Le Tan ‘Wiagra’ Pill Box Clutch Bag

As we’ve mentioned many a time, The Fashion Police are big fans of Olympia Le Tan’s ‘Book’ clutches, which allow the nerdy, bookish types amongst us to walk around looking like we’re carrying one of the classics, when actually, it’s just a clutch bag. Genius. This ‘Wiagra’ box bag, though? We’re not so sure. Designed to look like a box of viagra tablets, these ones come from Olympia’s “Love Pharmacy” and promise to “give your man  a massive hard on”. We’re glad she spelt that out for us. On a handbag. What do you think: a quirky, funny accessory which you just can’t wait to carry around (it would be particularly appropriate for that first meeting with your boyfriend’s parents,…

kitty clutch bag

Cute or Kiddy-ish? Meadham Kirchhoff ‘Kitty’ clutch

It’s been a while since we talked about age-appropriate dressing – or the ‘Dress Like a Toddler Trend’ as we call it – but this Meadham Kirchhoff clutch bag brought it back to mind. Now, the cat ladies amongst you may well be squealing in delight at the sight of the cute ickle kitty-witty. But at the same time, this is a £450 clutch… which looks like something you could pick up in Claire’s for a mere fraction of that price. Is this a cute, fun little bag that will add a touch of whimsy to any outfit? Or is it strictly for the (very rich) kids? [Product Page]

Kate Spade faux grass tote bag

Anyone for tennis? Kate Spade Hold Court Quinn tote bag

We’re all used to seeing faux leather and even faux fur on handbags, but we reckons this is the first time we’ve seen one made of fake GRASS. This Kate Spade tote is $298, and is made out of that cheap-looking fake grass you see in … actually, we can’t remember the last time we even seen that stuff. Can you tell The Fashion Police aren’t the outdoors type? Would you carry one of these, fashion jurors? If you would, you can click here to buy it.

JumpFromPaper two-dimensional handbags

JumpFromPaper two-dimensional handbags

You’re possibly wondering why on earth we’re showing you drawings of handbags, rather than actual handbags, aren’t you? The answer is… we’re not: These are real handbags, which have been cleverly designed to look like two-dimensional drawings. They’re the work of JumpbyPaper, and we think they’re pretty awesome: all the functionality of a regular bag, but with the added bonus of making you look like you’re starring in your own personal cartoon. And just imagine the looks you’d get from passers-by! Want one? You can click here to order them direct from the brand themselves.

Tardis purse

The Tardis Purse, for your inner geek

You know what annoys us? When people – and by “people”, we mean “hipsters” – think that watching very mainstream TV shows, like Doctor Who, say, makes them “geeks”. And then they go around all the time saying things like, “Oh, I can’t wait for the next episode of Doctor Who! I’m such a geek, lol!” (Other things that annoy us: people who write “lol” at the end of every sentence, regardless of whether it’s appropriate or not, lol!) That has absolutely nothing to do with this Tardis purse, by the way. We just wanted to get it off our chests. Click here to buy it.

boot bag by Azumi & David

Crime of Fashion? More Shoe/Bag hybrids by Azumi & David

We’ve shown you some of Azumi & David’s amazing (We may or may not be using that word sarcastically) shoe/handbag hybrids before, but that was a long time ago, so just to remind you, this is a clutch bag: No, seriously, it’s a clutch bag. What, you didn’t seriously think they’d just grabbed an old boot, thrown some random belongings inside it, and called it a “bag”, did you? Oh no, wait. they kind of did. Moving on, there was also this work of genius: See, it’s a bag… but it’s also a shoe! Only, not really, because if you tried to put these on your feet, you’d get some funny looks, wouldn’t you? Then again, if you carried it…

Miu Miu pink leather tote bag

Wanted! Miu Miu pink grained-leather tote

It’s not like us to go for something Barbie pink. Or something which costs $1,295, for that matter. As soon as our officers laid eyes on this pink Miu Miu tote bag, however, we knew we had to have it – even if only in the “fantasy shopping” sense. It IS almost Christmas, after all. And we’ve been very, very good this year… Click here to buy it at Net-a-Porter.