Haider Ackermann’s one shoulder dress makes wardrobe malfunctions a certainty

Now, don’t get us wrong: we’re not opposed to a hint of cleavage on a dress – as long as “hint” is the operative word. Or, OK, let’s be fair, here: sometimes it’s possible to get away with more than a “hint”, depending on the dress (and the cleavage) in question, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and we’re drawing it here, right above this Haider Ackermann number, which is £652 at Luisa Via Roma, and which barely even deserves the name “dress”, given that it’s really little more than a skirt with an extra bit of fabric to drape over the shoulder.

It would be perfect if you wanted to dress as a statue for a fancy dress party (as long as you were willing to stand with your hand cupping your boob all night, like this model), of course, but that aside, how would you wear this, readers? We’re going to be generous and assume the answer to that question begins with the words “NOT LIKE THIS”, but even assuming you’re supposed to wear something underneath it, we’re struggling to think of what that item would be. What could you wear that would protect your modesty, but not spoil the line of the dress, or look lumpy over the delicate fabric? A bra? A tank top? A woolly jumper? WHAT?

We think this is an Unsolved Mystery as well as a Crime of Fashion, but we have no doubt that Lady Gaga will be along soon to show us just how it’s done. Or how it’s NOT done, as the case may be. In the meantime, feel free to leave your suggested styling tips in the comments box!

11 Comments

  • January 5, 2010

    Nyka

    I think this dress would have been nice if they had bothered to finish it. Maybe one could try a matching bandeau bikini top underneath.

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  • January 5, 2010

    Kate

    A bandeau would work, but I know plenty of “ladies” that would just use a…*shudder*…pastie…

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  • January 5, 2010

    lizvocal

    This is shaped vaguely like a sari. They make cute little crop tops with tiny sleeves to wear under saris. Maybe in a fuschia or gold?

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  • January 5, 2010

    Yo

    you might as well not wear anything on the top if you’re going to wear this with nothing under. what’s the point of covering one if you’re not going to cover the other?

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  • January 5, 2010

    Katie

    I know! A nude bodysuit. It would give the illusion of having a bare chest. That could actaully be a bad thing, but what the hell, it would attract a second look, that’s for sure. Oh yeah, it probably would look good on a 0 model. I doubt the rest of us ‘normal’ bunch would suit it!

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  • January 5, 2010

    Carrie

    Honestly, when you look at the drape (that almost looks like that titpocket tank from a while back) and the material (sinewy, clingy, maybe a bit slippery). . . the line of the dress is almost made to be ruined. I really don’t like the effect at the hem either, with the little panel missing.

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  • January 6, 2010

    Ash

    I’m right handed… how will I hold a drink without spilling?

    Seriously this drape of a dress looks like there are huge holes where the sleeves are supposed to be and the model mistakenly put her head and shoulder through one of the sleeves. For all we know there is another sleeve scrunched up in the piece that hangs from the shoulder. You would have some serious side boobs showing but it’s better than this.

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  • January 6, 2010

    Olivia

    oh dear…..

    this is like a fancy dress version of the overalls style. but its not over-all….

    im agreeing with the thought of wearing a shirt that goes under a sari.

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  • January 6, 2010

    AJ

    So many things wrong with this I don’t know where to start…

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  • January 6, 2010

    kevie

    I’m thinking a nice thermal union suit underneath it all. Yeah, that’s it.

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  • January 8, 2010

    EricB

    It’s beautiful. Adding a tank top underneath would make it wearable.

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