Style on Trial: Gigantic platform shoes

Want to hear something funny, readers?

If you type the word “ugly” into the Polyvore search bar, this is what you get:

Yes, it’s Jeffrey Campbell’s infamous ‘Lita’ platform boots, and they’re the perfect example of the fashion trend we want to discuss with you today: the trend for absolutely gigantic platforms, of the type that make your feet look like boats.

You’re probably already familiar with this trend. It’s beloved of fashion bloggers all over the world, many of whom own either the Litas, or their close cousins, Jessica Simpson’s ‘Dany’ sandals:

Some even own both. In multiple colours.

But wait, what’s this we hear you shout. “This is last year’s trend, Fashion Police! These shoes are old news!” You’re right, they are. But rather than dying out completely, the power of the gigantic platform shoe has only been getting stronger as time has passed. The Litas, for instance, have gotten completely out of control:

The Dany’s meanwhile, have spawned dozens of copies. And it doesn’t stop there, because now other designers are getting in on the “make people look like they have absolutely gigantic feet act”. Witness Christian Louboutin’s ‘Daffodil’ platofrms:

Now, don’t get us wrong: we love Louboutin. A little bit too much, actually, as our bank manager will testify. But while these shoes come in an array of beautiful colours, there’s something almost comedic about the size of that sole. We don’t know: sometimes we think we absolutely love them, other times we think they make the wearer’s feet look deformed. They’re that kind of shoe. (Although, we have to hand it to them: if, for some reason, you want your legs to look like twigs – and we’re not sure why you would, to be honest – these are the shoes for you, because next to that sole, even the chunkiest ankle will look slim.)

When it comes to ridiculous platforms, mind you, Louboutin starts to look like an amateur next to Gianmarco Lorenzi:

This is a denim clog. There’s so much wrong with that sentence we barely know where to start. It’s yet another example of the chunky platform trend, though, and like the shoes above it, it will make your feet like they belong to someone else: and possibly not someone from the same species.

So prevalent has this trend become these days, that the ridiculous platform has become commonplace. We’re actually more surprised when we find a pair of shoes that DON’T have a platform. These Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony boots, for instance, look quite tame to us now, after several years worth of giant platforms:

And these Irregular Choice creations?


Once upon a time they might have looked outlandish, but now? Now they barely even register, and we find ourselves picking up wedges that don’t have platforms and wondering what on earth’s wrong with them, so accustomed are we to their large-soled sisters.

As for these Charlotte Olympia platforms, meanwhile:


Well, these are just beautiful. Not only would we wear them, we’d also probably put them out on display between wears, just so we could look at them some more. And sure, they look a lot like boats, and so would our feet once they were inside them. But maybe we could live with that. Maybe.

What do you think, readers? Are you for or against the giant platforms? Are you fully embracing the look, or can you just not wait for it to be over?

18 Comments

  • June 29, 2011

    maddy

    i hate giant platforms, they make the feet looks like hooves. by my tastes, if the heel is bigger than 10cm, it`s too much.

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  • June 29, 2011

    emma

    i loooovvvveee my giant platform wedges, the bigger my feet look the smaller my bum and the longer my legs – win win!

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    • November 5, 2011

      marianne723

      Why don’t ya just go on a diet and get all you think the shoe gives you.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Nell

    I’m not really a fan. I don’t like clumpy shoes, and these all look a bit clumpy to me. Though having said that, they would make ankles and legs look slimmer, so perhaps they’re not so bad! I personally don’t have that problem because I have stick thin legs (not as attractive as that may sound to some folk!)…

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  • June 29, 2011

    Natasha

    When it comes to shoes, I’m into something a bit more delicate. This trend just isn’t very attractive.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Moni

    What I’m always wondering is: Aren’t these heavy? Those are solid blocks of wood we’re talking about.
    I have a pair of winter boots with a thick and heavy sole (no platforms) that I can’t really bring myself to wear, because it’s so tiresome to walk in them.

    By the way: Yes, these are ugly. All of them. I wouldn’t let them even near my wardrobe.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Karen

    Two words: Spice Girls.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Mary

    I admit it- I love them. Saying that, I’m 5 foot 10, so if I wore them, I could pass for Godzilla.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Natalie M

    Its the 90s all over again. They just come in more colors than black.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Jaynie

    I like the way the irregular choice ones look, but I would like them even more (and possibly wear them) if they were platform-free wedges. So there’s that.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Janelle

    I like chunky heels but some of the ones above were just hideous.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Jordan

    I am strongly against this trend. I love a little bit of platform, but in my opinion, anything higher than one or two inches is to be avoided.

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  • June 29, 2011

    Aleutie

    They are like classical music. I mean: it’s difficult to find one real person who actually love them, and still – they are around.

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  • June 30, 2011

    Emily

    Some of these look so heavy! I can’t wear normal wedges because I feel like I’m dragging bricks around on my feet. I don’t think I’d be able to move wearing any of these!

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  • June 30, 2011

    Megan

    I love gigantic shoes like this, honestly. I have little feet (UK 3, Euro 35-36 type of thing), and often when I wear stilettos I look like I have little hooves instead of feet and my pants cover my whole foot. At least with these huge, crazy shoes I’m in proportion, you know?

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m a stiletto girl and I don’t wear clumpy shoes generally, but the occasional giant wedge is okay by me. I can take or leave the thick heels though.

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  • June 30, 2011

    egon

    First: I LOVE this kind of shoes. I have suffered fom years because of ugly stilettos and pointed shoes. I think that big shoes look a lot better than spiked heels, for example (THOSE are true prostitute shoes, not platform ones). I love above all platform wedges because they are FUN. They are colorful, a bit silly and totally easy to walk on (and, unless you buy cheap stuff, extremely lightweight). I have bought the above rainbow Irregular Choice platforms for my girl and, thanks god, she loves them as much as me. She is almost 6′ tall on them and her legs look like heaven.
    I’d always take any fun platform shoe above any granny-like, boring and hideous Manolo Blanick shoe!

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  • June 30, 2011

    Cookie

    I love platforms, but paired with a chunky heel? Uh god no! They remind me of go-go dancers, disco and my mother.
    If and when I am wearing platforms, please let the heel be a stiletto lest I look (and walk) like a badly shod horse.

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  • July 16, 2014

    Alyssa

    I actually love litas I don’t see why people think they are so ugly

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